A blood moon on her birthday. Two of her favourite events. And she was lying in bed under strict orders. The sky was awake and it tugged at her mind. Blood moons meant sacrifices were being left all over the forest. Which also meant it would be a lot harder to navigate her horse through the trees. If she chose that path. But she'd stolen Grams Grimoire all with the intention of not having to run away. Running away was the absolute last resort. It was the most logical as well but the itch on her brain took precedence. Right now it was directing her to the balcony. The perfect spot. Her room was in the tallest tower of the Castle, overlooking the ocean below. On usual days the individuals occupying the guest tower adjoining her own would have been able to see straight over to her but it was empty. The new occupants had yet to arrive and were expected the next over to the edge of the stone floor she rested her elbow on the wall. In the darkness the sea on one side of the Kingdom and the Forests in the other side were practically interchangeable.

Somewhere out there was her potential betrothed riding, faster than lightning as she liked to believe, on his way to her. She'd heard he was a white knight. Kind, handsome, intelligent. Everything a good prince ought to be. He'd looked handsome enough in the portrait she'd been sent. Piercing Blue eyes swept with sandy blonde hair. And jaw set powerfully square. More importantly he looked kind. And she prayed to all the gods that it was the honest interpretation. She needed someone kind. It was perfect match. But why, then, did she feel her heart crack every time she thought about marrying him.
The sack at her feet began to squirm and she took that as her cue to open it up, holding the rabbit firmly by the ears- like she'd seen the a wiccan priest do the first time she snuck out on a red moon day to see the ceremony. The blade she'd stolen from the kitchen shone under the glare of the cold moon. If she'd read the book correctly then all she had to do was sacrifice the rabbit and say the words. It seemed easy enough but specificity- that was the key. Specificity in her intentions. She dragged the sharp edge of the blade across the rabbit's neck, leaving a trail of matted down red fur. Blood dripped from the knife and the wound onto the straw canvas spread on the oval floor. Halfway across the rabbit's neck it stopped squirming. The flames flickered lightly as they moved out of the short spray of blood. She resisted the urge to throw the rabbit away in disgust and ignored the desire to squeeze it harder to find out how many veins she could burst with her palm. She placed the offering into the middle of the Pentagram and began chanting.
'Phasmatos accerso verum eros.'

She kept the chant as quiet as possible, making sure to add as much power as the words needed. Intention. Her intention had to be pure. Magic wasn't allowed for selfish reasons according to Grams. Selfish magic meant the demons would get you. So her intention was to receive love from her betrothed. Because it he loved her, she could use his love to do good. This wasn't for her. Not really. The spell was for everyone around her. The benefit from him loving her was enormous for the Kingdom.
She'd got this particular spell from Grams. Grams of course didn't know. Her old nursemaid had a habit of keeping the spare key to her room in a nook around the corner of the servant's corridor. Bonnie took use of that knowledge and helped herself to Grams' legendary Grimoire. Holding that amount of power wrapped in leather caused a shiver to run down her spine. Grams was a witch. It wasn't something she hid with Bonnie. Grams would tell her stories about Great Witches, Queens and legendary female Warriors before bed, all descended from Grams' great Coven founder Qetsiyah. She often lamented when she was younger, that she was only the heir to a Kingdom and not a witch. When she mentioned her desire to be a witch to her father one day he almost broke the bones in her arms as he gripped her, shaking her with the knowledge that witches were evil. They made pacts with the devil and we a scourge on the earth. No good could come from their darkness. She wanted to tell him he was wrong. That magic wasn't always so evil. Argue until she turned blue.
But she ran back to her room instead. She was sporting a bruise for days and as Grams nursed them back to health she scolded Bonnie. She scolded herself also for not telling Bonnie that it was a secret. She scolded herself for forgetting that Bonnie was not in her Coven, for forgetting she was Princess and her father was the King. Bonnie learned quickly to keep quiet about witches and in return she wouldn't lose Grams or the stories that found their way burrowed in her heart, nestled in a dusty vein to access when she needed them most.
Now she needed it the most.
Magic.
She wouldn't be drenched in the blood of a rabbit, bracing the cold of the balcony in her nightgown if she hadn't meant it. Bonnie kept chanting quietly, feeling the air become heavier around her. Until it she felt it enter her lungs light them up. A glow settled in her chest as she continued, feeling the spell get stronger and stronger until she felt the magics tethering her to the words begin to unwrap, letting the magic surrounding her take flight.
'What are you doing?'
Bonnie stopped chanting and looked behind her. At the sudden interference the thick aura that settled around her head burst and the candles she lit blew away with the spirits.
Grams waited only a second before gathering up the cold tapers from their precarious perches. Glaring hard as she did so. Bonnie scrambled to her feet and shoved the rabbit carcass back into a bag before she got a better look..
'N-Nothing Gr-'
Suddenly spotting her Grimoire lying open in the middle of the pentagram, Grams dropped a candle in favour of dashing towards it, scooping it into her arms. 'Bonnie you'd better tell me just what you were doing before I get incredibly angry. Do you know what would happen if anyone else caught you?'
'But they can't see me.' Lifting up to her knees, she gestured to the wall railing surrounding her supernatural picnic and blocking her from view. 'Remember you said magic would only come to me when I really needed it. Well, listen, I was lying in bed and all of a sudden I sat up and I know how that sounds- Gram's please don't look at me like that I'm telling the truth.' She took a nearby rag and began dabbing the blood from her hands. 'I sat up and I felt like I had something I needed to get out. It's like my soul was itching and now it's not anymore. It's completely soothed.'
The anger on the old witch's face seemed to melt away at her words. Now it was mixed with something else. Bonnie was practically raised by Grams. She knew the woman's emotions well. But she didn't seem to understand why she was wearing a mixture of Pride and fear.
'You've got the power.' Grams sniffed.
Bonnie let out a shaky breath as she got to her feet. 'What does that mean?'
They shared a moment of quiet solidarity. Grams hand found its way wrapped around Bonnie's, wanting desperately to give her an honest answer. At this angle, at this age, she looked like her mother. That single, painful, thought delivered her back to reality. 'Nothing. Not a damn thing child. I'll get this tidied up, you go to your bed and stay there now. I haven't forgiven you for going through my things.'
Bonnie set her jaw morosely as she obeyed the woman, knowing that any further questions and she would become furious. She shuffled across the door slowly, feeling guilty for enjoying the way the wind had begun to play with her hair. She stole from Grams and let her down, no matter her intentions she had been selfish. It's why she didn't feel like her spell worked. She didn't feel loved.
'What spell did you cast?' Gram's question reached her through the swelling breeze just as her foot crossed the threshold back into castle.
Bonnie paused in confusion at her sudden interest. '
'Phasmatos accerso verum eros. It's the one to make someone love you.'
'Bonnie…'
'It's the Prince.' She said as if it would ease the look of disappointment from Grams. She was only entrapping a Prince. Not a real person, so it wouldn't matter. 'If he loves me…' we can get married. I will be Queen. The power of two kingdom would be in my hands. She thought up as many answers as she could but instead the blue truth escaped her. 'If he loves me then I'll love him back. And our marriage won't be hollow. I won't be bitter and unloved like Father.'
Gram propped the Grimoire down against the wall and crossed over to Bonnie, wrapping her arms around her. 'Listen to me Child, I know exactly what you're feeling right now. It's my fault. All those fairytales I told you about love. They set your expectations too high.'
The mention of her fairytales brought tears to her eyes. She didn't want to blame Grams for feeling the way she was. But she did want to blame someone, it made the pain easier.
'I though- thought that there was only one person out there for me. That I had a soulmate and the universe was conspiring to bring us closer with each passing second. But I don't. I'm alone. And this marriage is just going to remind me of that.'
'It doesn't work like that Bonnie.' Grams smoothed her cheeks down with hands worn by time 'That's the fun of it. We get to choose who we love. There's nothing to say the Prince won't love you fiercely and you could love him back. He might be the one for you, just give him a chance.'
'He's not. I can feel it.' Bonnie inhaled Gram's comforting smell and imagined she was four years old, resting on her nursemaid's shoulder while the strolled through the garden. When she opened her eyes again she was still here. Still on her birthday, waiting from the man she was going to marry to arrive tomorrow. It wasn't set, he could always change his mind. He had a choice where she didn't. But why would he give up the chance to marry the Princess of a Port Kingdom?
'You don't need magic for this. You're a capable and brave woman.' Grams held her at arms' length and stared into her face sharply. 'This Prince is a good man and worthy of your love, even worthier of loving you. Just be brave and give him the chance. He's as human to this as you are.'
Bonnie nodded and let Grams kiss her on the cheek before sending her off with one small smile. 'Besides you did the wrong spell. It's not for making someone love you.'
'What's it for?' Bonnie asked, trying not to look too disappointed.
'Doesn't matter now, it won't work.'
Grams didn't watch Bonnie as she left. Guilt stopped her from making sure the girl got to her room safely. The more she looked at Bonnie the more she felt like she was failing her. As if she was watching history repeat itself. If she had gathered enough strength to loom for even a moment, she would have been able to see Bonnie veer of the path to her bedchamber and head to the stables instead.

AUTHORS NOTE:

I'M GODDAMN BACK

So originally I posted this on AO3 because in the past two/three years I've just been on there more. But then I felt this need to go back to FF and read over all those past reviews and I nearly wept remembering how supportive everyone was. Those reviews melted my heart all over again and I remembered that I came from and to I shall always return. This is for my Bonkai fam. We were robbed.