Title: Risky Business
Author: xNomii
Summary: 'You can't stay away, even though you know you should. You want to help, you have to help.' First time Sirius stays with Remus during his transformation as an Animagus.
Rating: M – for angst and language
Word Count: 1539
Pairing: Sirius/Remus
Contains: Slash
Beta: Dark-night-sky (Thank you so much!)
Disclaimer:Harry Potter does not belong to me, but to J.K. Rowling.
Dark clouded eyes angrily stare down at you as he realizes what you've done. You don't know what to do, you've never seen his eyes like that before. You want nothing more than to cower, but you can't. Because you're a Gryffindor, and Gryffindors don't cower.
He told you to stay away, more times than you can remember, but you didn't. He's telling you to go away, but you won't. You won't leave him alone, and he knows this, but he still tries. You can't leave him alone. You simply can't.
You are the only one who's ready. James and Peter both haven't mastered it yet, but you have. You know you should have waited though. As soon as you hear his cry of agony as the change begins, you know you should have. But you couldn't, because not helping even though you knew you could was unbearable.
He continues to cry out, his cries of pain slowly turning into growls and howls, making you back away until you feel the wall against your back. Transform, you think. You transform.
You are still backed up against the cold stone wall, as far away from the howling wolf as possible. Because that is what he is now. A wolf. You wait. You should have fled while you still had the chance. You should have fled and hidden in the dark of the night, where you would have been safe. But you can't. Because you are a Gryffindor; and Gryffindors don't flee.
Finally the howls stop, and you force yourself to look up. Your black eyes meet his amber ones. But they aren't black amber anymore. They're gold. And almost glowing in the dimly lit room. They're beautiful, but terrifying at the same time. You can't look away.
He starts to move closer, his eyes never leaving yours. You're feet, no paws, are glued to the ground. You wouldn't be able to run away now even if you wanted to. You do what you think is best, you act out of instinct and slowly lower yourself to the floor, careful not to make any sudden movements. You never break eye contact. You want to show that you mean no harm. That you aren't a threat. Since you aren't. Because that wolf is Remus, and you are you.
The wolf has almost reached you now. It's moving slowly, almost crouching over the floor. A few more seconds. You wait for pain that never comes. Instead you feel a nose press into your black fur. And you realize that it is smelling you. The wolf is smelling you. Like animals do when they meet a new companion, you remember.
You still don't move, you let it smell you.
Somehow you aren't scared anymore. You know you should be, but you aren't. Maybe it's because you are a Gryffindor, and Gryffindors know no fear. You don't know for sure, and honestly, you don't really care either.
Then the wolf pulls away and it looks at you expectantly. And you know, you just know, that it wants you to smell him too. You get up, still careful to not make any sudden movements, you don't know if the wolf trusts you enough yet.
You're back on your feet, no; paws, you remind yourself again, as that is what they are now. The wolf is still standing there, waiting. Cautiously, you move closer, and then you press your nose into the surprisingly soft fur. It doesn't smell like Remus, nor does it feel like him. But you still know that underneath that earthy smell and soft brown fur. That underneath those golden eyes, it's still your friend. Your Remus. You just know.
You pull away, the earthy scent still the only thing you can smell. Before you can do anything else than just stand there, the wolf leaps at you. Did you misread him after all? Misunderstood him? Again, you wait for pain that still never comes. Because it just wants to play. You can't stop the relieved bark you let out as soon as you realize. The sound echoes through the room.
You roll over the floor together, playful growls breaking the silence of the room even more. You play for hours, both trying to prove who is the strongest. The wolf wins, but for once, you don't even mind.
He's still on top of you, but you're to tired to get up. You're exhausted. The playing has drained you, and the fact that it's the middle of the night, or early morning, isn't really helping either. Your tongue is hanging from your mouth as you are panting. Something you would never do if you were still human, but it just comes natural now you're a dog.
You expect the wolf to force you up, so you can play again. But it never does. It just makes itself comfortable on top of you, never moving his head and paw from your neck while doing so. You hear the protective growl it lets out, and you know what it means. You're his now. But you don't care.
Your breathing starts to even out and you know you probably shouldn't fall asleep, but you can't help it. It's probably because you are a Gryffindor, and Gryffindors aren't known for making the wisest choices. You feel your eyes getting heavier, and then they are closed, and the room is gone, and you're asleep.
When you wake up again, the wolf is gone. So is the darkness, the earthy scent and the soft fur against your own. And you know, even though you haven't checked yet, that the golden eyes are gone too.
You're still a dog, and Remus' head is buried in your neck. His arm is wrapped around you and his breath is tickling your skin, but you don't mind. You stay still, you don't want to wake him up. You're surprised when you realize he's naked, even though you should have known, you saw him rip out of his clothes during the change.
You wonder if he's cold, because you are, and you have fur. You consider changing back so you can conjure a blanket for the both of you, but you decide against it. You can't break the spell that rests upon him. You just can't.
So you wait, you don't know for how long. Finally his eyes open, back to his normal amber color, you see. And even though the gold had been absolutely beautiful, you prefer amber.
He immediately pulls away, realizing the position he is in. You transform back, and it feels weird to be back on two legs again after spending such a long time on four. You resist the urge to put your hands back on the ground. You unbutton your robe and hand it to him. He refuses at first, but you insist. And you can see the relieved expression on his face as he wraps the soft black material around his naked form.
He looks at you, worried. You tell him. You tell him that nothing happened. That you're not wounded. Except maybe a few bruises from when the playing turned to rough, but you don't tell him that.
He doesn't believe you. He doesn't believe that you are not wounded. This time he insists. He insists that he has hurt you, since he is a monster.
You yell at him, furious. You tell him to never call himself that again. You forbid him from doing so. You tell him that he isn't a monster, and that he never will be one. You tell him again that he hasn't hurt you. And you realize that you are not the one you should worry about. You weren't the one to change. Or maybe you were, in a way, but you changed willingly. You grew a tail because you wanted to. He because he didn't have a choice. You ask him, if he's hurt. He seems taken aback by that question. Anxiously, you take a step forward, as if he might collapse there and then. Because maybe he hadn't realized in how much pain he actually was. Not until you reminded him.
"I'm not," he then whispers, making you snap your head up. Your eyebrows rise. He explains that it's the first time that he's not covered in blood the morning after the full moon. And you know that the only reason he didn't realize it sooner is because he was too worried about you. It nearly makes your heart ache.
He's still aching all over; you can see by the way he moves. But he tells you it is nothing. Nothing compared to what could have been.
He flings himself at you, murmuring 'thank you's into the skin of your neck. You wrap your arms around him, and suddenly you know why you did it. This is why you didn't cower. Why you didn't flee and why you weren't scared. Why you were comfortable enough to fall asleep. It wasn't because you are a Gryffindor. It was because you are Sirius Orion Black, and he is Remus John Lupin. It was because you are you and he is he. It was because you love him, and he loves you.