"I know you've heard stories about me."
I was making my way down the Henbane River when Sheriff Earl Whitehorse made contact with me. He said he had linked up with a Resistance Movement called the Hope County Cougars. They used to be a Baseball Team until Eden's Gate took over, best team in the state of Montana.
Oh, and on my travels, I met this guy called Hurk. Apparently, he's been all over the world, and interestingly, everywhere he's been, there's been "one dude that wants to keep all the Treasure, Beer and Women to himself." All in all, I suppose he means well, despite his trigger-happiness, but his endless talk about that damn Monkey King drives me batshit crazy.
On my way to Hope County Jail, where Sheriff Whitehorse said he was, we met Hurk's mum, Adelaide Drubman over at the Drubman Marina. She told me her Helicopter, "Tulip", was taken by the Eden's Gate dickwads, and asked me to retrieve it. She said it shouldn't be too hard to find, as it will be Piloted by a man, and the other Chopper Pilots are Women. Apparently, they used to all fly together on weekends until those disloyal bimbos joined Joseph Seed and his brain-dead Cult.
Once Hurk and I got Tulip back for Adelaide, and other such malarkey including taming some Lady's pet Cougar called "Peaches", we finally made it to Hope County Jail. Unfortunately, it would seem that our little...antics, if you will, had caught the attention of Faith Seed, and she ordered an attack on Hope County Jail in order to "quell" our Uprising before we got too strong.
Once we fought off the Peggies, I was introduced to Tracey Lader, and I was hit with gold when I was tasked with the honour of destroying that fucking Christ the Redeemer wannabe statue of Joseph Seed. Faith is apparently using that concrete eyesore as a destination for her sick "Pilgrimage". Needless to say, we didn't have to be told twice.
Once I destroyed that waste of good concrete, I had my first run-in with Faith Seed herself. She tried the same indoctrination tactics she tried on her "Angels" about how Joseph saved her from a life of depression, and other such bollocks.
I would awake from my Bliss Trip in Hope County Jail. If I'm gonna take this psycho bitch down, I might just have to step up my game
Talk to you soon