This was inspired by some artwork I saw, that depicted Elijah Kamski in love with Markus, and this being the reason why there were no others with his face. And as we know he wasn't adverse to using the real likeness of someone, I gave it this headcannon that poor Kamski had lost a lot in his life.
Disclaimer: All mistakes are my own. Characters are from Detroit: Become Human, and the 'brother' of Kamski, a creation of a friend.
Sometimes... hearts don't mend. And sometimes remembering was too painful.
It was the anniversary again.
It rolled by every year, same date and time. You'd think that he would be used to this by now, after all, it was almost ten years since he'd lost Markus.
His Markus.
It had been wrong of him to create an android of him, but it wasn't the first time he'd drawn inspiration from his real like. The 'Amanda' programme had been a nod to his dear mentor, and he'd thought it was a lovely way to make her immortal.
But Markus..? Markus had been private.
Personal.
Because he couldn't let him go. He couldn't walk away from that beautiful face, or that tender soul. He'd poured every ounce of his being into creating the perfect replica of his Markus, even to the golden flecks of light in his eyes, and the light sprinkling of freckles on his cheeks.
He'd never loved someone so passionately, so completely like he had loved Markus Prescott. He was like him, a dreamer, a creator. His mind so inquisitive that Elijah couldn't help but be drawn to him and how he saw the world.
Belief with science. An odd combo, and yet it was Markus Prescott in a nutshell.
Shy, unobservant to how people fawned over him. Literally tripping over their feet when he paid them attention.
But it had been him—Elijah, thin, pale, so fucking awkwardly nerdy and shy—that he'd been attracted to.
'I fell in love with your soul and your brilliant mind, not your looks. But they are pretty hot too—' he had said before capturing his lips in a fiery kiss that literally stole his breath.
He fell, and fell hard.
It was during a period where he was hating himself for what happened to his brother, avoiding his parents because the rage coursing through him was eating away at his soul like a cancer.
Markus was a balm to the rage inside of him, and he had been everything.
His partner, his best friend.
Family. Someone he ran to when he needed comfort or to bounce ideas off of.
And then he'd become more...so much more. A lover, his soul mate.
Even thinking back at it made Elijah breathless, clutching onto the edge of the sink, watching the trickle of water mingling with the blood that splashed into the sink.
Another thin precise line. Another year without Markus.
He wasn't trying to kill himself, it was the only physical reminder he had of the man he had adored. He grabs a towel, pressing it to the wound, sitting on the edge of the bathtub, reminded of how he had tried to make it work with the Markus-clone.
God...he'd put so much fucking soul into that android. He'd loved him right away. Was so drawn to him, felt overwhelmed with the likeness of his Markus that he couldn't stop admiring him.
Thank God androids didn't feel discomfort. Thank God he'd never allowed Markus to deviate around him.
He grew too attached, and it was Chloe who nudged him and reminded him of everything he had done to overcome his bitter loss.
His Markus, Markus Prescott, had been killed while crossing the road in his eagerness to get home to him. He almost believed that this was some sort of foul karma; why would the two people that meant the most to him be hurt by road collisions?
But unlike Gallen, his brother, this was permanent. This was... final.
And he never got to say goodbye. He never got to mourn.
'Kamski's do not show weakness! And they do not cry in public.' The words hissed from his father while they stood at the side of Markus' grave.
It rained. Thankfully, it rained.
The rain hid his silent tears that coursed down his cheeks.
Making the android was a mistake. It was a disservice to the Markus he had loved. He was trying to replace one memory for another, and it wasn't the same. He'd programmed his Markus to have the personality of his lover...but they didn't have the memories.
In the long run, he was torturing himself.
And so when his friend Carl Manfred took ill after losing his legs, slipping down a dark path, he knew his little ray of sunshine belonged out there in the world.
Away from him. Because he couldn't heal when he was around Markus. He couldn't breathe when he thought about how much love still coursed through his veins.
But by Carl's side, he knew that he would grow. He would become the exceptional man his Markus never got to be. He was a bright light snuffed out too fast, and Markus, the android, would be better.
He would lead his people to the future all androids deserved.
He focused his attention elsewhere. He made beautiful creations for other people, he made Chloe. All the gorgeous Chloes. But his first was his love. She became deviant, all by herself.
Loving her healed him. Healed him in ways he could never have imagined anyone could again. There was no holding back, she knew every inch of him. Every flaw. Every moment of doubt and hatred he held for himself. She saw his brilliant mind at work, and she cared for him, body and soul. Nourished him in ways he not allowed anyone to do since the grievous loss of his Markus.
And then his brother came back into his life, and he felt the wounds that had shredded his heart become smaller. Smaller... till he actually felt like he was healing. More family than he ever thought possible, without the toxicity that had surrounded his parents.
Extended family so bright and beautiful, he felt human again.
And then Markus walked through the doors, hand in hand with Gallen, his brother, and he felt his world shift.
Sick to his stomach, the realisation that he would have to watch it, and never say anything made him want to scream.
It was easier being the asshole, to keep people at bay.
Better than seeing that.
Chloe finds him on the bathroom floor, and he's sobbing. Brokenly sobbing, clutching the wrapped wrist to his chest.
It was September the 3rd.
The day his Markus had died.
And every year it felt like more and more of his memories were slipping away, while his brother loves on the man created in his image.