The First Winter's Snow

A frosty chill swept across the ground as I stared at the fresh blanket laid out in front of me. Two days off of work had clearly taken its toll. The weekends have never looked so horrible and merciless. This damn job. I hated this volunteer work. Especially when the weather called for 61 centimeters. That was about 2 feet in the imperial system. 61 centimeters. This is going to be a long shift.

I regret this job. I really do. This dumb job made the weekends and time to myself look like the worst sin imaginable. Felt like it too. Stupid winter, when I was trying to spend time with Kaoru or sleeping it was out here snowing like it was going out of style. I already feel exhausted from all this snow, Stupid, stupid snow. My feet already hurt.

I hated winter. Summer was my time of the year

I made sure to pull on my hat and my bright blue scarf really tight. I don't want any of this cold in. I stepped out of the door and into the deep snow. Already losing my feet up to my knees in it. "Kaoru, could you bring out the shovels?" I sighed out and looked back to see if Kaoru was actually following my older brother lead. He was not.

I frowned and trailed through this snow that ruined my life and made my arms hurt already. Back into the cabin that we would be staying at while we volunteered. It was a little new, I have never lived in a cabin before.

It also hurt me to know that that white nightmare was all around the house. Back in Japan at the host club they had staff to take care of this stuff. They didn't make the students clean up the snow. Neither did they ever have it not cleaned in time for school or by when I wake up in the morning. They all knew that I hated the white stuff from the sky.

Yes, I had my reasons. I wouldn't just say that I hated it and then say something like "Because it's stupid" or "Because I do". I have my reasons.

Anyway, it was quite funny, actually. To walk back into the warm little wood house, and then to see my little twin like he was at the moment. It was clear that he hadn't had much time in the winter either. That much was obvious.

He had his coat on nicely, that part was easy. His hat too. It was pretty adorable, it was a pink hat. Matched his scarf perfectly. His orange hair like mine still had parts that stuck out though. It was cute to see. He reminded me of a kitten, or a puppy. But then he was trying hard to put on that light pink scarf of his that was pretty clear.

The scarf he wore was wrapped around his neck in a way that kind of looked to me like he had someone tell him how to put it on, or had a manual or something to figure it out. Then it went back up and was thrown around his head, like some type of pink mummy. It even covered one of his eyes. I think that he should at least know that was wrong. My twin could be the silliest thing at times, couldn't he?

I know that we have worn scarfs before, but ones for fashion, not to keep warm. The most experience I had with these bulky scarfs was once when Tamaki had the Host Club dress like the explorers of mountains, I think it was. But we didn't even have to wear then, I believe that Mori was the one who had one on. We didn't have to wear much, just two long-sleeved sweaters and some goggles.

Like I said, we two were not born to be around snow and cold, much less shovel it.

So, I took the scarf off of his head and saved him from that odd disaster that he somehow made. It took some work, too. I finally got his entire head back from that pink scarf, and managed to throw it around his neck so it didn't make him look like a mummy this time.

It was then that he seemed to see me and gave me a smile. His cute smile. Just like my own, but it was pretty clear that there was a difference between us. Maybe that was why we didn't give smiles around the guests or in public much. Afraid that the people would tell us apart just because of that.

So then after I was done aweing over that smile of his, he took my hand and led me out of the doorway. It was funny to see him so enthusiastic about this job while I hated it with a passion. He even forgot the shovels, too. I had to tug on his arm once or twice to get him to remember why we were here.

It really was so funny, after we had grabbed the shovels I had to lead him outside this time, he stepped in my footsteps. The snow was very deep, even if we were almost-forget almost, we were-the exact same height. I couldn't find it in myself to blame him, if I had someone to clean the path for me I would accept in a heartbeat.

But, I think that if I had a choice in anything I would chose it this way. I liked being the big brother. I like being the one to clear the path for Kaoru, or the one to help him if he messed up putting on a scarf. Even if it was just by a few seconds, or even if we were so alike that we could play a game to guess up apart. I had thee piece of mind that I was the older and I would always be. Even by a matter of seconds.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

So, after we went outside, the both of us put our shovels into the snow and started throwing the snow into a big pile. Like instructed. It really was a job that I did hate. It seemed a little better with my twin around me though. That I will admit that.

It was a long hour, I'll tell you that. We talked for a minute or two about what we would do after this. We decided that we would probably be tired and go to bed. Then it somehow shifted into talking about dogs. I don't even know how that happened. We talked about little poodles and how funny-looking they were. We also talked about the big scary Great Danes, and how they were about as big as us. Then we talked about Golden Retrievers, how cute and fluffy they were and how they were loyal and calm they could be. It was a pretty fun talk. I also learned what I would get him next June. A Golden Retriever, a girl one.

I really don't know what I talk about when I'm with Kaoru, most of the time it isn't anything important. But what important do we have to talk about, anyway?

So, we talked. About anything, I guess. Before I knew it, an hour had passed, or two, Or ten. Who could be sure? Time really flew sometimes. It wasn't even until we had run out of breath and stopped talking for a few minutes that I noticed the pain stinging in my arms. Or the way that my feet felt like they would give out with another step.

Hah? Who knows how I didn't notice that, it was just a mystery of life.

The good part about this was that during our little hour–or a day, it could have been any time, really…-or not noticing everything and talking, I now realized that we had made some progress. At least a square of then meters was cleared for each of us. At least 20 meters cleared. We had made much progress! Maybe talking was a good idea?

Along with the newfound things, I had begun to want to talk with Kaoru again. What seemed to be natural and normal now seemed harder than it should be… I took a glance over at my twin. My little twin. He was there trying to pick up a pile of snow with his shovel. Just like I should be. He didn't seem to be liking it either. No, it wasn't one of those twin connections. I could tell because he put the shovel down for a moment so that he could shake his hands, like you would when they were sore or burning.

I figured that I should probably get back to my work. I tried to, I really did. But every minute I would look over to check up on Kaoru. I didn't try to. I just kind of did. I could tell that he didn't like this as much as I didn't. I even looked over once and saw him looking at me as well. My silly little brother. I could understand him more than anyone else.

We just stared at each other for a few more moments. His face that looked so much like mine, as I was told. Even if I didn't really see it. It may be that I don't look at my own face as much as my brother's, maybe. Considering that I woke up to his face every day, or that I always saw his face smile at me when I looked over at him. I could only count once or twice he hadn't smiled back at me. My little brother.

But I could tell that there was some difference between us. There was somewhere. Somewhere. I don't think that I really look for those kinds of things though. Kaoru was Kaoru and I, Hikaru, was Hikaru.

We both seemed to get lost that time, not just me this time. It took until another cold wind swooped across the ground and sent a shiver up both of our spines that we realized that we were both staring at the other's smile for far too long. I could see that he tightened the pink scarf, hopefully to get it to block out the gust next time. I chuckled to myself and did the same with my blue scarf.

After the small exchange we both went back to the long and painful shoveling we had to do…

That was until I looked over and I saw that Kaoru had dropped his shovel, I watched for another minute and to see what happened. I saw that he picked it up in another second and looked back to me quickly. It was very like him to not want me to worry, wasn't it? But I knew better than to just believe that.

I saw that he gave me a smile. It was hidden behind his scarf. But I could see the way that his eyes closed ever so slightly, the way he did when he smiled. I guess I just noticed a few random things about him after being with him for so long. For everything, too. I don't remember the last time we weren't together for something. We both hated to be apart. So we never were.

I could still tell that he hurt badly. He didn't want me to worry. Sneaky little Kaoru.

I frowned, I hid it in my blue scarf though. I didn't want to let him know that I was unhappy with anything. He would go out of his way to change that, exactly like I would for him… But it wasn't the pain or something else that hurt me I didn't like seeing him in pain. The pain I felt came after.

I tried to go back to my work but I really could this time. It wasn't any procrastination or stalling this time. I promise. I wouldn't joke or use Kaoru's state as an excuse. Ever.

I don't know. But I didn't like that my brother was hurt. I should do something about that. That lady who hired us wouldn't mind it if we took a little break, right? Why would they?

I frowned more as I looked around me for something to use. I was usually good at finding things to use in these situations. But all that was around was that white nightmare. Snow. No wonder so many people peed on it. I kind of wanted to pee on it right now, to be honest. I think that deep inside I have always wanted to pee in the snow. I should try it sometime.

Oh yeah, that stupid snow!

Took me long enough to come up with a plan, didn't it? Anyway, maybe snow wasn't so bad after all? Well, not when it had pee on it, anyway. If could use it to help me save Kaoru from this horrid shoveling. Maybe I could give the white frozen water a second chance. Maybe.

So, I took a handful of this snow. I took a small chunk to start with. The snow seemed sticky, not like that powdery snow that I played with when I was little. It actually stuck to my gloves, weird. So, I formed a ball with the snow. A good snowball. I have been in a few of these fights before. I knew that my twin had too because he was always with me. We liked to handle things like this together.

I smiled to myself and pulled my arm back, preparing for the throw. I could just see his head turning to look over at me at the time I threw it. I got him right in the face. I let out a loud chuckle and waited for his reaction. He first cleared all of the snow off of his face, then I could see that he wasn't smiling back at me. Maybe it was unfair to throw without a warning…

He frowned deeper and it hurt to see it. "You should be working on shoveling"

Since when was he the one to tell me that I should be working, I was trying to stop him from hurting himself more! Why couldn't I just say that? "Come on, Kaoru. We have been working for ever, we should take a break!" I said with a reassuring smile. I knew that if he knew that a snowball fight would make me happy nine times out of ten he would agree.

For one rare occasion, it seemed he wasn't convinced. He pulled off his light pink scarf and got all the sticky snow off of it. Then he put it back over his mouth and nose. I was a little relieved that I wasn't looking at his disapproving frown again. But I could still see it in his eyes. Like I had learned with the smile, his eyes also moved with his frown.

His frown would forever haunt me if I didn't do something about it quickly…

I didn't do anything about it until he had already leaned down to pick up the shovel once more. I would try once more. I knew that he would come around eventually. By the pain in my arms I guessed his were much worse. Plus I knew he would love to see me happy as much as I did to him. So let's try again, for his own sake!

Taking another pile of snow into my glove, I hurled another at his back this time. The face was a little mean, anyway. I should have started with the back…

"Hey, Hikaru! Stop it already, we have to shovel." I heard him yell back, but he never had a snapping tone with me. That I was thankful for, I don't think I could handle it if Kaoru snapped at me.

I took another ball into my hand and threw this one lower, this one was for his chest. It went right where I wanted it to. His jacket kept the cold snow from getting into his clothes underneath, and there really was no harm that was done. It was still a fun sport though, that was the truth.

"Hikaru, stop!" I heard him yell at me after another minute and two more snowballs I threw at him. I could hear a much more joking tone from behind his scarf this time though, he had no bite really. Neither of us ever did for each other. I threw one more, aimed for his face again. By this time he knew that I wasn't going to stop. So I think that is what triggered him to shoot back at me.

I smiled and chuckled when he finally put down his shovel and picked up a big lump of snow. Keeping it to smoothen out into the form of a ball. Then, with a final warning he threw the ball directly at my face. I have never been more relieved to get hit in the face.

About another hour passed after my victory. I had been pelted the most times and if anyone was keeping score I would have been creamed. I am certain about that. But I don't think that I really cared that much in the end. It was a fun time and I think that I might like snow more after it. Yes. Me. I like snow now. I don't hate it anymore for those reasons that I never told you anymore, I actually like it.

I suppose that Kaoru does that sometimes. Makes me like things that I always hated. Or could make something horrible seem like the greatest time. My silly little twin, he always knew how to make me happy. And I knew how I could always make him happy. No, this wasn't a "Twin Connection" either. I just knew my brother, and my brother knew me.