I've come to realize that being in love is really strange; strange being a good thing as far as I'm concerned.
Have you ever cared about someone so much that you would do anything for them, without even thinking about it?
She could tell me to jump off the roof and i'd do it in a heartbeat. Is that how love is supposed to be? Or is it more or less my twisted viewing on it?

I mean growing up everyone is always told things like "be your own person" and "be who you want to be, not what someone else expects you to be."
But I would be anyone for her.

It's funny, when I'm with her the images kind of go away.. Well not completely but she makes them a lot easier to deal with.
I don't have to try to hard.
Lately I've been having days where I don't even feel like I need therapy anymore.. but a few hours without her there to distract me prove that theory wrong.

Now that I'm on the subject of the images I see in my mind.. maybe I should diverge a little farther.
(Dr. Harmon says that I'm not very good at expressing what I truly see and feel... Sometimes I want to tell him to go fuck himself. But I know that I need his help..)

Well anyways, they always involve guns and my old school.

And yes, I'm the one who's shooting. Sometimes it seems like I kill everyone, and I'm happy about it.
The first one gets a shot to the head, the next gets his jaw blown off.

It's weird to explain; but while I'm picturing them I feel like a hero. How fucked up is that?
They scream, and cry and attempt to plead with me not to kill them, and then I do it and I feel like I did the right thing.
I feel like I deserve a fucking gold medal, a trophy.

But then the images are gone and I'm left feeling confused, and depressed. Sometimes I cry about it.
But that's not something I really like to share.

I don't understand why they won't leave me alone.
Why am I plagued with these constant horrible images?
What did I do to deserve something like this?

It's a filthy world we live in, and apparently someone of higher power decided I should suffer for some sin unbeknownst to me.