Curses, My Nose Fell Off!
by Topaz
A/N: Well, I've always wanted to write something about Eloise Midgen, and I finally did. This is the story of how she cursed her nose off (as mentioned in GoF). I tried using html, so it might come out strange. Enjoy!
It started in Potions. Professor Snape was being his usual slimy, disagreeable self, so my friend Cho and I were passing notes.
Cho tossed me a note, folded neatly into a tiny white square. It took me about ten minutes to unfold it, but I finally managed.
Eloise,
This is boring as hell.
I scribbled, "We're in hell" and tossed it back. Professor Snape rambled on about potions that counteract magic, so he didn't notice when Cho wrote something and flipped the note back to me.
Eloise,
This is boring as hell.
We're in Hell.
I know. That's why. Except I don't believe that Hell exists.
I snorted and rolled my eyes at Cho, then chose a new scrap of parchment and wrote back.
Cho,
You're weird. Of course Hell exists. We're in it now. Snape is the Devil who never washes his hair, and Jeremy is a demon.
Cho grinned, scrawled a reply, and handed it to me.
Jeremy is a smelly demon.
We both looked at Jeremy, an annoying Slytherin who sits right in front of Cho, and tried not to giggle.
Jeremy is a big, fat, smelly, stupid demon.
Cho read my note and laughed out loud. Snape whirled around to glare at her. "Sorry, Professor," she said meekly.
Jeremy is a big, fat, smelly, stupid, horny demon.
I bit my lip to keep from laughing and grinned at Cho.
Jeremy is a big, fat, smelly, stupid, horny bastard.
I flicked the note toward Cho, but it went too far and landed on Jeremy's table. Cho and I looked at each other, horrified.
He leaned over and picked it up, then opened the note and began reading it.
Eep.
***
Later that day, Cho and I told Lisa Turpin about what had happened. She found it hysterical.
"He found it?" she shrieked. "You guys are so stupid!"
"Tell us something we don't know," Cho said.
"A horny bastard." Lisa was laughing so hard she was crying. "That describes him so well. Did you guys hear about what happened when Mrs. Creevey came to bring Colin his wand when he left it at home? Well, she was walking across the grounds and Jeremy saw her, and Morgan said he was practically drooling--"
"Shut up," Cho hissed frantically. Lisa stared at her, puzzled, then turned around.
Jeremy, who had been standing behind me and Lisa, glared at us.
"Hi," I squeaked.
"Papulus," Jeremy said, pointing his wand at me. He turned to Lisa, but she yanked her own wand out of her pocket and pointed it back at him.
"Leave," Cho said, "or we'll blast you to smithereens, you smelly horny demon bastard."
Lisa and I cracked up. Jeremy scowled at Cho and stomped away, but he didn't dare do anything more; he has a huge crush on her. Not to mention the fact that she's Ravenclaw's dueling champion.
"What was that spell, anyway?" I asked, watching Jeremy stalk off. "I didn't feel anything."
"Um, Eloise...." Cho was looking at me oddly. "It's, er, a Pimple Curse."
"PIMPLES?!"
***
To be continued....
by Topaz
A/N: Well, I've always wanted to write something about Eloise Midgen, and I finally did. This is the story of how she cursed her nose off (as mentioned in GoF). I tried using html, so it might come out strange. Enjoy!
It started in Potions. Professor Snape was being his usual slimy, disagreeable self, so my friend Cho and I were passing notes.
Cho tossed me a note, folded neatly into a tiny white square. It took me about ten minutes to unfold it, but I finally managed.
Eloise,
This is boring as hell.
I scribbled, "We're in hell" and tossed it back. Professor Snape rambled on about potions that counteract magic, so he didn't notice when Cho wrote something and flipped the note back to me.
Eloise,
This is boring as hell.
We're in Hell.
I know. That's why. Except I don't believe that Hell exists.
I snorted and rolled my eyes at Cho, then chose a new scrap of parchment and wrote back.
Cho,
You're weird. Of course Hell exists. We're in it now. Snape is the Devil who never washes his hair, and Jeremy is a demon.
Cho grinned, scrawled a reply, and handed it to me.
Jeremy is a smelly demon.
We both looked at Jeremy, an annoying Slytherin who sits right in front of Cho, and tried not to giggle.
Jeremy is a big, fat, smelly, stupid demon.
Cho read my note and laughed out loud. Snape whirled around to glare at her. "Sorry, Professor," she said meekly.
Jeremy is a big, fat, smelly, stupid, horny demon.
I bit my lip to keep from laughing and grinned at Cho.
Jeremy is a big, fat, smelly, stupid, horny bastard.
I flicked the note toward Cho, but it went too far and landed on Jeremy's table. Cho and I looked at each other, horrified.
He leaned over and picked it up, then opened the note and began reading it.
Eep.
***
Later that day, Cho and I told Lisa Turpin about what had happened. She found it hysterical.
"He found it?" she shrieked. "You guys are so stupid!"
"Tell us something we don't know," Cho said.
"A horny bastard." Lisa was laughing so hard she was crying. "That describes him so well. Did you guys hear about what happened when Mrs. Creevey came to bring Colin his wand when he left it at home? Well, she was walking across the grounds and Jeremy saw her, and Morgan said he was practically drooling--"
"Shut up," Cho hissed frantically. Lisa stared at her, puzzled, then turned around.
Jeremy, who had been standing behind me and Lisa, glared at us.
"Hi," I squeaked.
"Papulus," Jeremy said, pointing his wand at me. He turned to Lisa, but she yanked her own wand out of her pocket and pointed it back at him.
"Leave," Cho said, "or we'll blast you to smithereens, you smelly horny demon bastard."
Lisa and I cracked up. Jeremy scowled at Cho and stomped away, but he didn't dare do anything more; he has a huge crush on her. Not to mention the fact that she's Ravenclaw's dueling champion.
"What was that spell, anyway?" I asked, watching Jeremy stalk off. "I didn't feel anything."
"Um, Eloise...." Cho was looking at me oddly. "It's, er, a Pimple Curse."
"PIMPLES?!"
***
To be continued....
