"Dear Diary,
You are still stupid, and I know it's been a while since we talked, but somethings come up and the one person that I would talk to is the one person that I absolutely can NOT talk to about this. Oh my, I'm a little confused. I don't know what it means. I guess I should start at the beginning: I just woke up from the craziest dream, and I don't believe what happened in it, so you going to think this is totally nuts. What am I saying, you are just a book that I got for my birthday three years ago because Daddy couldn't make it back from Nigeria. Of course paper isn't too hard to ship, and I love your hand-made pages. Also, I love my name embossed into your leather cover and wrap around cord thing that acts as a latch. Damn, I'm totally staling. Was this dream so significant that I don't want to put it down on paper? Does it mean what I think it means? That's what scares me, no terrifies me. If it becomes really real and it not real, I don't what I'll do.
*sigh* so, this dream. I can feel my heart starting to race again just thinking about thinking about it.
As you know, K is my soul mate, so it's totally normal that if I have a dream, she would be in it. She's in most of them even the naughty ones. buuuut this wasn't like that, where we lie to together and talk about the future. I felt like I was awake and sort of able to make choices. I knew I was dreaming but I felt awake, which should have totally freaked me out. We were having such a good time and then I guess a serious time and then, it became like what Liam tells Shane that he thinks Shane doesn't tell me and totally does. I mean ropes and K-Y? No.
It all started out innocently enough. A future Saturday, K and I were at Mueller Farmers Market, the one where K's parents take their truck. K and I didn't arrive with them; they were just in the background somewhere. I could feel that they were there, but I didn't see them, or much of anything because I was lust listening to K talk and we were walking about, looking at the stalls and each other. She had on a beautiful mid-thigh white dress with over-sized sunflowers. and she was accessorizing with over-sized sunglasses, just so that she could practice looking cute by:
looking over the top of them
pulling them to the end of her nose with one hand
pushing them up like a celebrity
folding them and clipping them between her breasts, well you know the top of her dress where she had left one of the three buttons undone, (though sometime later all the buttons had also undone, umm moving on...)
Anyway, she looked great and I would have felt frumpy despite having on my favorite plaid blouse, (K won't let me call it a shirt); it's just so comfortable and covers my totally under developed ass when it's out, (when the shirt is out - just to be clear). When I have to tuck it in I get much-needed extra padding.
Why can't I have nice curves like K? I'm never going to catch up with her. She lost her first tooth before I did and she got boobs before I did, so she got her first bra before I did. (Though I was a lot less jealous of that last one because it was fun hanging out in her room and trying it on. I remember how nice it was trying on a piece of clothing that still had the warmth from K's body.) hmm. anyway, where was I? oh yes, Life seems like a cat-walk for K and I'm still hiking up hill, trying to catch up to her. Though not in last night's dream, that was totally different.
We were together walking amongst the stalls, buying veg for the latest recipe from this great new cook-book that we got called 'Food for Thought.' It's from Vanilla Black, this amazing vegetarian restaurant in London, England Dad sent me. I remembered when I gave it K for her birthday. She was totally surprised. Now, it's one of K's parents cook-books that they do a lot of work from.
The sun was shining and K's J. Crew strappy wedge espadrilles made her smile because it makes her think that she is the perfect height for kissing, (which she is.) She looks great in them, but some part of me keeps an eye out for black bears so that she can have a head-start, because she is going to break an ankle if she has to make a run for it. Though if we were attacked by a bear she would probably protect me, she is so brave, and the bear would probably fall-in-love with her and just offer to carry her shopping. But this is Texas, so any bear would be shot before it had time to declare its undying love to a fair maiden. Shooting is a sport here. Then again so is Cheerleading, don't get me started.
So I was just putting the last aubergine in my backpack, (I mean it's just an eggplant, but aubergine sound cooler and I wanted to impress K with how "British" I sounded, which I'm totally didn't, but you know, a girls got to try. She chuckled, though.) and as I was zipping it up I looked up at K. She had the sun behind her and she was looking off into the middle distance, daydreaming about her one-true love, she woke from her trance and smiled down at me. Then she clapped both hands to her face, which surprised me a little, so I checked to see if I needed to tie my shoe-lace, but it was fine so I looked back up realizing that she had probably just thought of something that we had forgotten, despite me having made a list. That's when we heard it. Someone trying to hold their breath. K and I both turned to look and realized that the crowd had cleared slightly, so that there was enough space around us, yet still enough people to feel crowded.
Someone, and then more and more were looking at us with expectation. I was confused, like they had mistaken K for someone famous. I looked back to K who had absentmindedly let her right hand drop down, and was reaching out to me. She looked equally confused and looked back down at me. Then everything became clear when one old lady demanded of her, "say yes!"
That's when K and I realized what it looked like. Someone, and now many someone's saw me down on one knee in front of a beautiful girl and had presumed that I was proposing to her. We simultaneously burst out laughing...
... and that's when it starting to get weird. I was about to explain that I was just packing our shopping when K turned to the old lady and showed the back of her left hand while indicated with her right hand. She looked so happy, and glanced back down at me as if she were including me in her reveal. I was sooo confused. When did K get married? She didn't even have a boyfriend, and possibly more importantly, why was she pointing with her middle finger and ring finger, rather than just her index finger?
I think the old lady shed a few tears of joy as she covered her face. Her hands didn't seem to be sure if they were applauding or praying as they tapped together in front of her cryle (crying smile - I watch too much MTV's Awkward). The applause from our circle was brief, but included some random frat-cheer, and as if it was choreographed, they melted away. K turned back to me and offered a hand to help me up, which I accepted, (not that I need any help, but I liked the feeling of her hand in mine.) I picked up my backpack and handed it to her so that she could help me put it on to carry the shopping and leave my hands free to so that we could walk hand-in-hand.
I would have just slung it over one shoulder, but K and I instinctively knew that if we bumped into her father he would spend an inordinate amount of time trying to "help" me with my posture, because, "do you *know* how bad it is for your spine?" would naturally lead to some impromptu chi gong or Taiji lesson right there in the market, when all I wanted to do was get home with K.
Then, as happens in dreams we were back at home, but it wasn't any home that I'd ever known, but it felt perfect. Being a dream the house was on a cliff on Galveston island, right next to the beach, (don't ask how we could walk back home from a market in Texas - it made perfect sense at the time. No Galveston doesn't have cliffs either.)
Augh, I've got to get ready for school, so I'll finish this entry tonight, but just so that I don't forget, it was beautiful sunset.
