Chapter One
Blair Waldorf Bass stepped out of the town car and on to the busy New York street. Beside the large revolving door of the high-rise in front of her was a sign that read 'Bass Industries'.
Her Husband, Chuck, was inside at his desk. Nearly two hours late for the five course dinner she'd abandoned on their dining room table.
Blair ran one hand across her stomach. The stench of the dry, down town air making her insides turn. She swallowed, her throat almost clenching she felt so nauseous. She'd suggested a special dinner tonight because she'd finally decided to tell Chuck the secret she'd been keeping. Thank Good she hadn't told him before.
She'd waited for him, staring at the bottle of sparkling grape juice she'd had Darota set between their plates as a hint. She'd memorized that bottle while she'd opened her eyes to the facts. She and Chuck had both kept secrets for the past sixteen weeks, only she'd been desperate enough to pretend she didn't see what Chuck was doing.
Late nights at the office, fierce silences at home, see-through excuses for the cell phone he'd practically strapped to his hand. Most women would suspect an affair, but Chuck Bass had a different problem.
His mother had left him and his father when he was still a baby. As a result of that long ago abandonment and the way his father had died leaving Chuck to think he was ashamed of him, Chuck tied his worth to his success with Bass Industries.
He'd do anything to provide for Blair, but he kept his emotional distance afraid of not being enough for her. His need to protect Blair has pushed her away, because she wanted a husband who would let her help him solve his problems, not pull away when troubles came.
Both Chuck and Blair sprang from a long line of families that failed emotionally. When they had finally married two years ago after six years of hot and heavy drama, Blair had tried to create the family they had both craved as children. Instead, they'd created and emotional divide.
She felt as thought she was already alone. She'd made up excuses for Chuck's absences, for his distraction when he showed up late to one gathering or another. If she was going to raise a child alone, it would be because she no longer lived with her baby's father.
A man in a dark suite exited the building. Blair knew him. A member of Chucks legal team. Blair pasted a smile on her face. After today she wouldn't have to pretend everything was normal.
Wind from a passing cab blew her hair across her face, and Blair brushed the strands out of her eyes. She refused to wait for Chuck to tell her what was wrong with the business. Hurting from the pain of another betrayal cost her more then knowing the truth. She'd make him tell her.
Squaring her shoulders, she marched across the marble floor of the buildings lobby to the elevators. Her legs felt like Jelly as the doors opened on the top floor. She opened the frosted glass doors that were engraved with the company's name.
The moment she stepped inside, the temperature dropped. Even in mid-May, the heat in the city made air-conditioning a requirement. Blair swiped at the perspiration on her forehead. Her hand trembled in front of her eyes.
She'd offer Chuck a chance to explain because she still didn't want to leave him. When they were good, they were very, very good.
Chuck's voice murmured from behind his office door. For a moment she hoped he had a late appointment with a client. Then she recognized a tone she always dreaded hearing. She couldn't understand what he was saying, but he was in trouble.
He anger simmered as every excuse Chuck had given her in the past few weeks repeated in her head. She wouldn't have kept her own secret if she'd trusted him.
Not that she could give him all the blame. She'd stayed. She hated feeling dependent, and her relationship with Chuck made her feel dependent rather then stronger. When they were bad, they were unbearable.
Striding models of the building the company owned Blair tried to imagine why her husband had decided his success here meant more then their marriage.
She passed empty offices. Her best friend and sister in law, Serena who work for the company as head of PR, had already gone home.
Chuck office lay at the end of the hall. The air conditioning's whisper cushioned the sound of Blair's heels on the floor. Suddenly, John Cate, Bass Industries head of security, leaned into Blair's view through the slightly ajar door, his bulk bending the frame of his chair as he crossed his arms behind his head.
'I know,' he said on a hefty sigh. 'A trained cop had no business losing Jack in the men's room, bit I didn't train the cops who work the airport. Just chill, Charles. We'll find him and your money before you have to shut the doors for good.'
Blair stumbled to a halt, flexing her fingers against the creamy, pattered wallpaper. The truth came as no surprise, but hearing it in plain words felt like a near fatal wound.
'What if it's already too late?' Chuck asked. 'I'm working my investors now as if I were the criminal. But I don't do business this way, and I don't like knowing my employees may be working on borrowed time.'
The scream in Blair's head must have translated to some kind of sound. John turned to her, surprise widening his eyes. She pulled her hand off the wall. After twenty two years of pretending her life was perfect she had honed her skills. She'd pretend nothing was wrong. Next best thing to acting as if Chuck had talked to her about the problem.
'Good evening Mr. Cate.'
'Evening Mrs. Bass.'
'Chuck's chair squeaked. After a few muffled steps, he came around the door, tall, dark and clueless. 'Is something wrong at home?'
Startled at his unexpected question, Blair searched chiseled features that had thinned over the past weeks to an ascetic sharpness. His problems in this office had distracted him. He'd forgotten their meal and his promise to come home early. Naturally he only expected her to show up if some thing was wrong.
'Everything is fine.'
A lover's fear haunted his eyes. Chuck loved the idea of their family. He truly loved her - as much as she loved him.
'I came because you're late,' she said.
He turned a wary gaze on the other man in the room. 'John…..'
John pried himself out of the chair. 'I'll get back to you later, Charles.'
Blair watched the other man leave. With each step he took toward the elevator lobby, she braced herself to face the reason for her husband's guilty expression.
'Blair.' Taking her arm, Chuck forced her to look at him before she was ready.
She shook him off. 'Don't.' All she wanted was for him to tell her she was wrong. 'Why was John here?'
'Please believe I wanted to tell you.' He took her hands again. Heat throbbed from his callused palms. She splayed her fingers over the underside of his wrist, where his pulse tapped an alarm. A measure of calm came to her despite confusion that had become familiar. 'Something's happened. Again.'
He tightened his hands, but he couldn't seem to answer her. She studied his face, intent on every nerve, every shadow of guilt that flittered behind his eyes that knew her both to well and not at all.
'This time was different, Blair.'
'You always say it's different, but it never is.' The future yawned in front of her like a hungry mouth. 'You keep problems from me because you think I'll leave you.'
Sweat beaded on his upper lip. He didn't look well, but she couldn't spare him any more of her empathy.
'I would have told you.' He released one of her hands. 'I had to make sure I knew how much trouble we're facing.'
'I don't trust you.' She flattened her free hand over her belly, tracing the mound she couldn't hind much longer. She wouldn't expose a child to a part-time father. 'I can't go on the way we are, and you can't change. You never would have told me about Jack. You planned to clean up the mess by yourself.'
'I haven't told anyone. Jack embezzled from the company accounts. He stole almost everything. We've lost a lot of money, and we're trying to find Jack before he knows we're looking for him.'
She fought to control her anger, but reason hadn't worked with him in the past. 'First, you should tell the employees if they're in danger of losing their jobs. Second, I don't work for you, and I'm not a newspaper reporter. You have no right to keep me in the dark. I'm your wife. I don't know why you won't let me help.'
'What could you have done?'
'I don't know, but you never gave me a chance. You prefer to suffer alone.'
'I'm supposed to protect you.'
'Please don't start that old story again.' She freed herself from him. 'I'm not like your mother. I don't need your money, Chuck I want you. If the company burned to the ground, I'd want to help you rebuild, but you wouldn't turn to me. You want to protect me, but I can't count on you if something goes wrong in this office.'
She spun blindly toward the reception area. She had one thought - to escape this building without him - but he kept pace with her as if she were crawling.
'Where are you going' His stunned tone hurt most of all.
'I told you I wouldn't stay if you hid anything else from me.'
'Tell me how I'm different then you, Blair. How often are you faking your happiness, smiling to hid the tears. You run to Serena, every time something happens you never come to me. I'm only trying to provide the life you deserve.'
His last self-serving point pushed Blair too far. She turned on him, but momentum carried her too close to him. His familiar spicy sent triggered a basic need whose power had always frightened her.
Wanting him so much, she felt weak and angry with herself. 'Don't look for someone to blame because you and I failed at our marriage.'
He reeled backward, stumbling into a model of the 'Palace Hotel'. Instinctively, Blair caught his arm before she was certain whether she wanted to shove him or help him.
No, she knew what she had to do. 'I stayed for you, but you clearly don't need me or want me. I don't want to kept pretending you and I are going to live happily ever after. Not together, anyway.'
'Blair.' His husky plea caught her unawares. He reached for her, his wedding band glowing gold in the artificial light.
She arched away from him. Tears clouded her vision, but as the elevator doors slid open, she walked deter idly toward the night outside.
Outside the wind wiped her hair into her eyes. She bumped into a soft figure that had to be a women. Blair muttered a tear-choked apology and broke for the sidewalk where the town car waited. But she stumbled and fell of the curb.
Her right ankle turned over. Pain nearly paralyzed her as her foot skidded along the gutter. Behind her, a women's voice shrilled, but the deep blast of a car horn seemed to finish her shriek. Blair straightened, turning. A yellow cab, coming fast, froze her.
'Blair!' Chuck must have followed her. He was furious, afraid and too far away.
She reached blindly into thin air, twisting back toward the sidewalk. Seconds stretched, defying the laws of nature. Chuck caught her hand. She recognized the strength of his long fingers, the breadth of his palms. She grabbed at him, but she couldn't get her feet beneath her. Holding on to her husband, she peered over her shoulder at the driver.
Intensity crumpled his face. His body lifted in the seat, as if he were standing on his brakes.
They screamed, and time lost its elasticity.
Blair willed her body away from the car. Chuck yanked her, but something glanced off her leg, more a jarring thump than real pain.
At first.
Chuck pulled her hard against his body as a fire-edged knife seemed to slice through her thigh. Behind her, the car's tires grounded into the road and chaos faded to silence.
An unnatural silence, empty of voices or traffic, footsteps or the constant whisper of the city. Blair knew only pain and overwhelming nausea. Panic clutched at her. Was she sick because of the baby, or the torture of her leg? Was she going to lose her baby?
'I've got you. You're safe.'
She looked up. Chuck's fear fed her terror. She hadn't trusted him enough to tell him about her pregnancy, and now she didn't know how to say the words.
'Focus on me.' Chuck turned his head. 'Someone call 911!'
Around them, cell phones erupted in a cacophony of beeps. Somehow, Blair found a smile, but Chuck stared at her, amazed.
She concentrated on his dark eyes. 'You've always wanted to save my life.'
With his face pale as beach sand, Chuck didn't smile back. 'Don't talk.'
People she knew, their driver, edged into her peripheral vision.
'Look at the blood running down her leg, Mr. Bass.' He pushed a man-smelling jacket beneath her nose. 'Maybe you need this.'
'Get a demand ambulance,' Chuck snarled, but then the muscles around his mouth worked as he fought to maintain his composure. 'Blair, you're all right.'
A resounding roar overwhelmed her silent prayer that he'd keep holding her too close for her to look down and see blood. Pressure, like a giant hand ,seemed to push her toward the ground. 'I think I'm not all right.'
She was going to faint. First time she could ever remember fainting. Was she dying? 'Chuck, I - I have'
Chuck's voice cracked. 'You're fine.'
'I have to tell you…' That strange pressure swathed her in darkness. Only Chuck's arms kept her from falling. She forgot what she had to tell him, but she hung on until the darkness swallowed her whole.
END CHAPTER ONE.
