PERCHANCE TO DREAM Chapter 1
The first night she slept not at all, struggling with the phantom pain of her lost arm. The second night as well, and the healers frowned in concern for the lady Inquisitor. Healing draughts and magic had repaired what little damage he had left behind (their voices nearly hissed in rage which is how she knew he was the subject of their discussion). Why did she still writhe and suffer rather than sleep?
She didn't have the words, or the desire to tell them that sleep meant dreaming. And dreaming meant a renewed pain at the empty space he would have occupied before. Pain...sharper than any knife, hotter than any pyre, an internal wail of agony and loss. She had to continue to be functional. She couldn't lose herself in that grief, so sleep was sacrificed on the altar of her broken heart.
By the third night of no sleep it was becoming clear that her cogency was suffering. She'd nearly given Josephine's noteboard to Sera (Sera had actually chortled with glee at the thought of having Josie's letters, which is what had given her warning that she was making a mistake) and Varric had begun following her like a stocky, hairy nursemaid.
"Alright Rosebud, time to do a little sorrow drowning. You and me have a date with the finest alcohol stolen from anywhere in Thedas." She'd tried to say no, but Varric had dismissed her excuses and literally dragged her (rather than to the Herald's Rest) to her own quarters.
Once there he had plied her with brandy and ribald stories until she was laughing so hard she could barely breath. Then she'd finally spoken of the pain that consumed her and the laughter was forsaken for the healing of shared tears.
Eventually the liquor caught up with the many sleepless nights and her eyes could barely stay open.
"And now my evil plot comes to fruition." The dwarf grinned as he tossed a blanket over her where she lay drowsing on the bed. "Time to sleep… perchance to dream."
He paused. "You know that was pretty good. I need to write that down." And off he bustled in the throws of the muse.
"G'nite…." She barely managed to get the words out before sleep finally claimed her.
She was surrounded by nugs.
Why nugs? She wondered silently as she turned in place to survey the faintly glowing library that surrounded her. A nug library... only in her dreams would such a thing exist.
"Because I like them. They are simple and kind."
She whirled and nearly threw herself into the arms of her friend. "COLE! I've missed you! Are you alright?"
The spirit boy smiled and awkwardly patted her back as she hugged him. "The pain lives in this place, but I am alright. Did you come to heal the pain?"
She pulled back and looked at him with a puzzled frown. "I don't think dreaming is going to heal my pain."
His voice grew as distant as his expression for a moment as he answered. "Not your pain...his. He hides his heart, until he walks this place and lets it bleed among the spirits."
"He?" Her heart moved to her throat, making the question difficult to voice, even in this dream state. "You mean, Solas?"
He nodded. "Can you find his heart?"
Her mind raced.
A new possibility springing into being. She'd saved countries. She'd played the Game and been victorious. She'd fought an army of demons. She'd slain an elder god. If she could do all those impossible things, perhaps she could save the man she loved.
"Cole, will you help me?"
"Yes."
"Can you bring him hear to me?"
"Not tonight. It will take me time to find him, and you will wake before then."
"Tomorrow night's sleep then, bring him here to me."
The boy looked at her, hope in his worried blue eyes. "Are we going to find his heart?"
"No, we're going to remind him that I am his heart."
