Author's Notes: I don't own Godchild. Though I wish I did. It would so totally become shounen-ai. Not that it isn't implied already.


Drowning

Kuro Mirai

In the darkness, I walk with uncertainty. It fills my soul with deep longing and dread. I feel as if there is no end. I go everywhere and nowhere, but all I see is the vast expanse of oblivion and the darkness melting with it.

It's impossible to see anything else. I should be puzzled by the endlessness of it all. Nothing is eternal, after all. But it doesn't stop. It kept on flowing like water, and there's no end to it. I feel as if I were drowning in it all. But…how could I drown? How could I be filled to the brim with darkness when darkness itself has no substance?

No matter. For it does and I slowly drown in the darkness, and though I am able to breathe, I breathe in noxious fumes as if they were poison – the poison that becomes my own undoing.

I watch as the poison spreads throughout my body, my soul. My feet turn black, as if the darkness was slowly swallowing me. My fingers, they start to darken and turn numb. Slowly, my whole existence becomes infected by the poison that is darkness and my own self becomes wrought with dread and fear. I cry, and I scream, but I could hear nothing coming out from my mouth. It was as if the darkness had swallowed my noises. I try to reach out with my hands to anything and I see them slowly being consumed by the darkness.

A sudden light stumbles into the darkness and I am momentarily blinded. Somehow it should hurt me to see something so bright fill me. It should hurt to see my darkness being filled with light. The poison that slowly encased me in its grasp would struggle more, but I am filled with relief and it spreads inside my heart.

My vision becomes brighter, it is uncontrollable, blinding. But I do not wish for it to stop. I do not wish for it to go. No matter how it hurt, no matter how it blinded, it was a beautiful sight. It was a comfort and I felt the warmth spread inside me.

A pair of hand reaches out towards me. I look at it with apprehension. For only a fool would not see how the darkness had me in its grasp. Only a fool would not see the darkness encasing me, embracing me, unwilling to let me go.

Yet, still, I saw him with that firm smile, unwilling to let go.

Riff, can't you see this darkness poison me? Can't you see? This is the path to hell.

But the hands do not waver at all, nor does it flinch as it touched the darkness. It was simply there – reaching out and waiting for me to touch it with my own.

Yes. My path is you, Lord Cain. I exist only for you.

I continue to look at those hands with apprehension. What would happen if I touch it? What would happen if the darkness pulls it into it as well? Would the hand falter? Would it pull away? No. I could not take a risk. No matter how bright, the darkness dims the light away. And if the hand should so fall away, I could not risk it.

But as I keep on looking, it felt so certain. It felt so resolute that it would not back away no matter what. I felt the strength behind those hands. I felt it calling to me, to take it, to allow it to hold me and lift me away from the darkness. I shook. There was no way I could bind something so bright to me.

Milord, I vow to protect you, to always be by your side.

I felt the smile, more than saw it. The smile held so much warmth and acceptance. I saw the hands slowly come towards me. I saw them embrace me tight, as if afraid to let go, as if afraid that I would break. I lifted my own arms and embraced back.

As much as I wanted to let go, I could not, and I would not. I felt something stir within me. Something akin to happiness, and I did not want to let it go. It was selfish, but I wanted to hold on tight, and never let go forever.

You lost your chance…to get away.

The darkness started to poison us both, to swallow us both. I felt it slowly embrace us. For a moment, I thought the hands would let go. But they only tightened.

Yes, this is the only place for me.

At that moment, I thought I heard a whisper, "It's alright like this, isn't it? I'll surely never let go." And I thought so as well. I tightened my grip as the darkness slowly swallowed us both.

My soul is tainted, tainting you. But if we can go on like this forever…

It doesn't matter. It's alright. I am not alone. We are together. I'll never let you go. You'll never be able to run away from me. Riff.