PRIDE

A/N - So I have been heatbroken reading the stories of the people killed in the shooting in Orlando this weekend at Pulse. I just keep thinking about what it is like to lose someone like that, to hear the terrible stories of people desperately calling and texting loved ones who never are going to call them back. I have so much anger and sadness in me right now. I wrote this in a fit of desperation to try to deal with my emotions. Un-beta'd.

WARNING: Relatively major character death. TRAGEDY.


Naruto sat at the bar with Konohamaru, nursing the same beer he had for the past hour while his friend sipped on his coke. Naruto had stopped teasing him about the fact that he still had to wait three months before he would be allowed to drink at the club, but Konohamaru had only laughed.

"Hey, at least I can get in the door now without having to try to get a fake ID!"

"You'd better have never used a fake," Naruto tried to look stern, but he laughed along with his younger friend. Konohamaru might talk big, but he was a good kid. He'd waiting impatiently, but the first time he'd set foot in the hottest local gay club, Rasengan, he'd been using his own driver's license when he'd come out two weeks ago at the start of PRIDE month. Naruto had come with him when he'd talked to his grandfather, and taken him out to his first gay club to make sure the kid didn't get in over his head. Konohamaru was like a little brother to him, and Naruto couldn't have been prouder of him.

Konohamaru eyed Naruto's beer and sighed. "You've still got another year to wait before I can buy you one of these, kid." At twenty-six, Naruto could still remember that impatience to finally hit that last milestone, though, and he never failed to tease Konohamaru about it.

When Konohamaru turned twenty-one, Naruto was going to be the one to buy him his first legal drink, most likely at this very bar. He smiled at the thought.

"So what are you going to do?" Konohamaru asked, bringing back the topic of what had sent Naruto to meet his friend at the club in the first place.

Naruto sighed. "I don't know. I mean, I get it. Sasuke is private, and he works for a company that is really conservative. His boss is a total ass, and I don't want him to get fired or whatever, but it's just…"

"You're tired of living in the closet," Konohamaru finished for him.

"Yeah," Naruto took a drink of his beer.

"I know where he's coming from, though. It's hard to come out when your family isn't supportive," Konohamaru said, still remembering the way his grandfather's face had frozen, then fallen slightly in disappointment when he had told him he was gay. They were moving past it, but it was a moment that Konohamaru would probably never really get over.

"Yeah, but you came out last month, and you're six years younger than Sasuke. I'd just… for once, I'd like to be able to go out on a date in public and kiss my boyfriend." Naruto raked his fingers through his hair, his frustration lacing his voice. "I mean, ten years ago, there weren't as many clubs like this where you could go. But it's different now. It just shouldn't be this big of a deal."

Konohamaru took another sip of his coke. They'd had this conversation before. Naruto was the one who had helped the younger man go through his decision to come out to his family, offering to put him up if his grandfather threw him out. Surprisingly, it hadn't been necessary despite the initial shock and some angry words. Konohamaru's grandfather had come around. Naruto was glad to see his friend really finding acceptance. It made him hope that one day, Sasuke would come around as well.

"Are you guys breaking up this time?" The younger man's dark eyes were filled with concern.

Naruto sighed, looking down at his beer. "Nah. We're it for each other. Sasuke will come around eventually. I just… I just wish he'd do it sooner."

The music changed, the DJ turning up the volume and Naruto looked down at his watch. It was eleven thirty, and the crowd was starting to pick up in the club. "Shit. It's late. I should be heading home."

Konohamaru laughed. "Old man. You're so whipped. When I'm twenty-six, I'm still going to be here partying on a Friday night. Just watch me!"

Naruto laughed, clapping him on the back. "Yeah, I know. I'd better get going and hear Sasuke out. I stayed at Kiba's last night, but I told him I'd be back tonight. You staying?"

Konohamaru snorted. "Are you kidding? The night's just starting! I saw a few friends I met last week come in. We're going to close this place down tonight!"

Naruto smiled at the younger man's enthusiasm. "All right. Stay safe."

Konohamaru rolled his eyes. "Geez, I'm not a kid. I'm twenty, remember?"

"Yeah. Old man. Still can't drink, though."

"Whatever. Go home, already."


Naruto stopped to get something to eat on the way, still feeling annoyed enough at Sasuke that he wasn't in any hurry to get back. Sasuke knew he was pissed and usually gave Naruto space to work through his 'mad', which was why Naruto was surprised when his caller ID lit up showing it was Sasuke calling.

Naruto answered the call, his temper already rising if Sasuke said one fucking word about him not being home yet.

"Yeah?" he said tersely.

"Naruto -" Naruto almost didn't recognize Sasuke's voice. It voice sounded choked and almost… panicked. Naruto had never heard Sasuke sound this way. "Naruto… where are you?"

"I'm on my way home. I just stopped and got something to eat and -"

Naruto cut off at the ragged, cut-off sound that came over the phone. "Sasuke are you… ok?" There was no way Sasuke would be crying... they'd had fights like this before. They always made up. But the shuddering breath Naruto could hear from the phone told him that Sasuke was holding on by a bare thread.

"Look, I know I was pissed and said some things but -" Naruto began, but Sasuke cut him off.

"Naruto," Sasuke rasped. "You haven't seen the news. I thought you were still at Rasengan, and I just couldn't…" Sasuke cut off on a jagged breath.

Naruto felt his blood run cold. "Sasuke. What happened down at Rasengan? I was just there with Konohamaru, and I-"

"There's been a shooting. Some asshole with a gun came in and just -"

"Sasuke, I have to go." Naruto hung up and pulled the car over to the side of the road, his hands shaking as he scrolled through his contact list and called Konohamaru. Naruto listened to the first ring, waiting to hear Konohamaru's voice pick up. The kid would probably make some joke about Naruto being overprotective or paranoid or any of the other things he always said when Naruto got a little carried away with keeping tabs on him. Naruto bit his lip as the phone continued to ring. Naruto wasn't sure if he was breathing as he waited. Konohamaru would pick up on the next ring, for sure. Maybe his phone was just wedged in his pocket.

The phone rang and eventually went to voicemail. "Hey. Hey, man, I just…," Naruto tried to get the twisting dread to settle in his stomach. "Sasuke just said that some shit went down at Rasengan after I left and I just want to make sure you're ok. Call me, alright?"

Naruto sat on the side of the road, staring at the steering wheel. If Konohamaru had been there, it didn't mean he was hurt. In all the commotion, he could have just dropped his phone. Or maybe he couldn't hear it. Or he could be giving his statement to the police and couldn't answer.

But the kid would be ok. Naruto's lungs still didn't seem to be working right. Konohamaru had just come out to his family and he was just… he was top of his fucking class in his college studies and he was going to do amazing things and he just… he was going to be ok. Naruto called Sasuke back and he picked up on the first ring.

"Did Konohamaru call?" Naruto asked, knowing it was a stupid question but if somehow Konohamaru had lost his phone and had to just call from the hospital, maybe he didn't have Naruto's cell.

"No. Naruto, they… they are saying there are at least thirty dead. We'll start calling the hospitals. Just… come home."

"Yeah, I… I'm just...," Naruto's hands hadn't stopped shaking.

"Do you need me to come get you? Where are you?"

"No, it's ok, I'm… I'm ok. I'm not far from the apartment. I just pulled off to call, -"

"Where are you?"

Naruto looked over to the street sign, his mind unable to process his surroundings even though he was only blocks from his home. "I'm just on sixth and Madison, pulled over in front of the deli." He was literally three blocks from his apartment and he hadn't even realized it.

"I'll be down. I'm just grabbing my coat. Stay there."

Naruto looked at his phone numbly for a minute, then began calling all of Konohamaru's friends that he knew. Udon didn't answer either, but Moegi did and told him that she had been frantically calling them both as well. They promised to call each other as soon as there was news.

A tapping on the driver's side window had Naruto looking over to see Sasuke as he opened Naruto's door, pulling Naruto out of the car and nearly crushing him with a hug. Naruto gripped back, his whole body feeling sick and on edge.

"He didn't answer his phone," Naruto said into the collar of Sasuke's jacket, hearing the sheer panic and dread in his own voice.

"They listed the hospitals that were taking the victims on the news. We can go down there and see if anyone knows anything."

Naruto drew a steadying breath at the control in Sasuke's voice, desperately needing it right at that moment. He tightened his grip, expecting Sasuke to push away, especially when Naruto remembered that they were on a public street, but Sasuke only ran a hand along the back of Naruto's hair, holding him close.

It was Naruto who pulled away. He cleared his throat, trying to keep himself under control. "Can you drive? I'm, um… I want to be able to check my messages, in case…"

"Idiot. Get in. Of course I can drive," Sasuke said gruffly, sliding into the driver's seat as Naruto walked around to get in on the passenger's side.


Naruto wasn't sure how long they spent waiting with other panicked friends and relatives at various hospitals only to be told there was no news. Naruto's mind went into an almost vacant state. There were many options for why Konohamaru might not be at any of the hospitals. He could have been treated at the scene by an EMT and released. He might have been uninjured and gone home. But as the hours stretched through the night and there was no call from either Udon or Konohamaru, the feeling of dread that crept up Naruto's spine put more and more weight into the third reason that there was no record of Konohamaru at any of the hospitals. The victims that were pronounced dead on the scene would have been there through the night while the crime scene was processed, their bodies to be taken directly to the morgue the following day.

Naruto wasn't aware of the journey home, nor of Sasuke gently pulling off Naruto's shoes and belt and having him lay down on the couch as they watched the news. Naruto looked over to find Sasuke's concerned gaze on him.

"Do you think…," Naruto licked his lips, trying to shake the surreal feeling that he was swimming in. "Do you think we're going to wake up and none of this really happened? Like maybe… I'm just… just…," Naruto's throat closed off, and he had to look away.

Sasuke didn't say anything. He just slid an arm around Naruto while Naruto tried to pull himself together.


It was mid-morning when they finally got the news.

A website had been created listing the names of the victims so families could find out as soon as possible. Naruto had read through the list. It was alphabetical, but somehow he still started at the top, reading each name on the list feeling a horrible sense of guilt every time he felt relief that a name he read was not his friend's (because they were still someone's friends, someone's child). He knew that if Konohamaru were ok, he would have called. Would have texted or found some way to make contact. Konohamaru was always conscientious like that. He would never make his family or friends worry on purpose.

Naruto was still not prepared to read the name Sarutobi, Konohamaru on the list when he got to it. Part of his brain scrabbled to try to come up with some sort of way that this could be a mistake… maybe Konohamaru had loaned his ID to someone else, or it had fallen out of his pocket near another victim in the panic and he'd been mistakenly identified as the wrong person.

But the silence of Naruto's phone told him that there was no mistake.

"I'm sorry, Naruto," Sasuke said from over his shoulder, pale arms wrapping around Naruto as he sat there, frozen.

"I..," Naruto stopped. What was there to say? "I need to… go to his grandfather's. I need to tell him."

"I'll come with you."

The morning was spent notifying friends and family. Udon was identified as another one of the victims before the morning was out. Naruto felt like he was walking through a fog, his conversation with the grieving grandfather and uncle of his friend going without him even remembering what was said.

Moegi found out that they were looking for volunteers to help at some of the emergency blood drive locations that had sprung up as people of the community looked for ways to help the surviving victims. Naruto and Sasuke and several others spent the rest of the day doing what they could, just wanting to do something, even if it wouldn't change what had happened.

The LGBT community was reeling, with many being told not to hold vigils or memorials in case another shooter decided to attack.

"Onyx club is open tonight," Sasuke mentioned as they drove back quietly to their apartment.

Naruto hadn't slept in over twenty-four hours, but he knew he wasn't likely to do so any time soon. "What?"

The Onyx was another gay club in the community. Like Rasengan, Sasuke had never been there and Naruto was surprised that he even knew the club's name.

"They were talking about it on the news. The owner of the Onyx said he was going to open the club early to show his support and encourage people not to be afraid. "

Naruto pulled out his phone and quickly brought up the Onyx site. There was a rainbow ribbon twined with a black ribbon on the webpage, with a banner that said 'We still have our PRIDE - Rasengan club in spirit.'

"We could go if you wanted," Sasuke said, causing Naruto's head to snap up.

"There will be press there, Sasuke. And tons of people."

Sasuke's jaw clenched. "I know. It doesn't matter."

"And if your boss sees you on the news at a gay club and fires you?"

Sasuke shot him a look full of determination. "Then I'll sue his ass for discrimination. If you want to go, we'll go."

Naruto drew a shaky breath. "Yeah. Yeah, let's go."

The end.

On the radios here, many DJ's are using the: Love is love is love is love quote to show solidarity. I cry every time I hear it. I just don't understand how this happens in my country. Please be safe and strong.

- Heartbroken Kizu