A/n: This is the first fan fic I've written since my sister (here known as "LizR") died. As we grew up we would always write fics and read them to each other. I wish we could still do that. It feels so strange to write this and know that I can't show it to her.
Elizabeth, I miss you so much.
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Chapter One: Summer Fun? Not So Much.
The summer was hot, but the castle was hotter. Last week's conversation with Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon was the only thing Harry Potter could seem to concentrate on in the heat.
Well, who knows if it could've even been considered a conversation, really. Screaming at the top of one's lungs is rarely exhibited over a cup of tea.
Let's just keep it at this: Hedwig. Escape from cage. Alighting upon Dudley's face in the night. Mistaking it for a toilet. Harry shuddered. Even for Dudley, Hedwig-pooh-in-the-face was a dark punishment.
After much thwapping and insults about Harry's poor breeding ("Those good-for-nothing parents of yours! No wonder you're such a bum!"), his Aunt and Uncle had swiftly kicked Harry out of the house, and Dumbledore (who creepily seemed to know everything that happened to Harry, it was now seeming) had appeared and told him to simply come to school early this year. It was almost August already, after all.
But Harry had never realized just how dull Hogwarts could be until he had spent a week there with no company beyond kooky Dumbledore, the house-elves, and Harry's least favorite of all, Professor Severus Snape. All the rest of the faculty had homes and families to return to during the summer. Even Hagrid, the misunderstood Hogwarts gamekeeper, was currently in France visiting Olympe Maxime at Beauxbatons. But no. Not Snape. Snape had no family to come home to, no babe to visit. He was to be lurking about the Hogwarts castle all summer, and knowing this killed Harry in a slow, painful, and metaphorical kind of way.
"I just wish I had someone normal to talk to!" Harry cried out as he stared out the boys' dorm window. Hedwig glared at him, insulted. "Talking to owls is not normal," he told her indignantly. She proceeded to bite his finger viciously and flew out the window. "Wench of a bird," Harry grumbled under his breath. He then flopped down upon his four-poster and picked up the letter he had received from Ron Weasley, his best friend, just that morning. He had expected hearing from a friend would cheer him up. He was quite wrong.
Dear Harold,
Ha ha ha, just kidding mate; I know your name's Harry. Hermione and I are having an absolutely brilliant time at the Burrow. Oh, did I tell you Hermione came to visit? Since you can't come over (obviously) we're thinking of inviting Neville over instead to get the real fun started! He is quite the party animal, if you'd believe it. Gets it from that wild gran of his, I suspect. Only joking! Or am I??? Ohhh!
Anyway, the castle during summer sounds almost as bad as the Dursley's, if you ask me. You can't even do magic there, cause school's not in session! Also, Dumbledore may be wise and whatever, but he is kind of off his rocker. That's an understatement as well. And Snape! Ha! Sorry, mate, but I really can't help but laugh. That would be your luck, wouldn't it? Who knows, maybe by the time school begins, you and old Sev'll be best buddies!
Well I have to go now. Hermione just threw a gnome at my head, which means that our new sport of Extreme Gnome Tossing has officially begun. It's a hell of sport; I bet you'd love it. But you're not here, so oh well!
Have fun at Hogwarts (even though I know you won't…),
Ron
P.S. Hermione says "Hi."
"Aaaarrrgh!" Harry screeched in frustration, and tore the letter in two. "I hate summer!"
"Dost mine ears deceive me?" came the voice of Dumbledore. The old wizard stepped out mysteriously from behind an embroidered curtain. "Did you just say that you hate summer?"
Harry was lost for words. "P-p-p-professor! What were you doing being that curtain?! In my dorm!"
Dumbledore shrugged. "Brushing my teeth."
"No you weren't."
"Have you any proof of that?"
Harry was silent.
Dumbledore smiled. "When rabbits and cows frolic together through the meadow of anarchy, the destiny of the world is naught but a plank of wood," he said wisely.
"Er…excuse me sir?"
"It's an old wizard proverb," Dumbledore explained, seating himself next to Harry and clapping the boy on his back. "It means something to the effect of, 'Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies.'"
Harry nodded, even though he was completely confused.
"You shouldn't dislike summer, dear Harry," Dumbledore sighed, gazing at Harry from over his half-moon spectacles. "It is full of opportunities." He then looked down to his spindly wrist where he wore a very strange-looking watch. "Oh, my! Look at the time!" Harry tried to do as he was told, but it was difficult as he had no idea how to read the watch. Dumbledore clapped his hand to his forehead in exasperation. "I must leave you now; it's time for me to comb my beard." And with that, he stood up and briskly exited the room.
It wasn't until Harry was sure that Dumbledore was out of hearing distance that he picked up the nearest pillow and screamed into it. "That's it!" he moaned. "I must escape from this place!"
***
Meals were definitely the worst part of Harry's entire situation. Dumbledore said that he preferred a "homier" feel to eating when there were so few people in the castle, so they ate all their meals together with the house-elves at a small table in the kitchens.
"This is Dobby's favorite meal, sir, yes it is!" said Dobby the house-elf, as he trekked along the table, serving everybody salad. "Would Mr. Snape like some salad?" he asked nervously when he came to Snape.
"That salad is made with iceberg lettuce," Snape said lethally. He peered out from under his greasy locks at the house-elf. "I. Prefer. Romaine."
"Does Mr. Snape mean…yes, then? Or no?"
"No! Fool!"
Dobby scuttled away.
Harry rolled his eyes and took a chomp of his own serving of salad. That was Snape for you: an everyday drama queen. Nothing was ever right to him.
Once everybody had been served the main course, roast beef and potatoes, Dumbledore decided to make conversation. "Ah, don't we all just feel like a family, eating here together? See, I'd be the daddy, Harry would be the angsty teen, you all" --he pointed to the numerous house-elves—"would be the children, and well, I suppose that leaves you as the mummy, Severus!" Dumbledore slapped his knee in amusement. Everyone shared a hearty laugh except for Snape, who looked pained.
"What good taste you have, sir," he sneered.
"Oh, come on, Sev! It was just a joke!" Dumbledore said. He wagged his fork at Snape as though in reprimanding. "You need to cheer yourself up, you great lump." He shifted in his seat and straightened his wizard cap. "Why, that reminds me of someone else, earlier today." His blue eyes twinkled toward Harry. "You two could both use a bit of cheer. And that gives me a great idea! Sev, my man, you shall make Harry your apprentice this summer! Won't that be fun? You two will surely have the time of your lives! You'll have some real bonding time!"
The whole table sat in horrified silence. Even the house-elves seemed to understand how much of a death-sentence this was for both Harry and Snape. Dumbledore continued to bounce about his chair, bubbly with excitement. "Yes, this will be fun!" He raised his pumpkin juice as though to give Harry and Snape his blessing, and took a great swig.
Harry dared to glance at Snape. Dear old Sev looked positively livid.
August was sure to be a long month.
A/n: Be sure to anticipate some Marauder flashbacks in future chapters! =D
