A/N: I took this quiz on facebook a while back and the evil plot bunnies attacked me while I was distracted and refused to quit jumping around in my head until I wrote this. It's just the first installment to find out what you guys think about it. Unlike other times, even if you guys don't really like it, I'm going to write all the chapters, not just the first one. This one is in Lilly's POV and I hope you enjoy it. If you're looking for the romance in it you'll have to wait until the next chapter; sorry. Reviews are loved and cherished.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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Today in English and Composition the whole class had to take a personality quiz that would tell us what our 'masks' are and we had to write a five paragraph paper on our results.

Everyone thought that it was really lame at the start, but when we got our results back we started to take it more seriously. I thought it was pretty cool but I think my paper was a bit too detailed for my liking; I mean like, I don't really want the teacher knowing all that stuff about me, but if I didn't turn it in then she would write it out as an automatic F.

It really made me start to think about it though. I mean like, the result I got really surprised me with how accurate it was. Miley was really startled with my result and told me that it was practically the exact opposite of me but she just doesn't get what's always going on with me.

I can't even put it into words so it's no surprise that she doesn't get it and it's not like I go around pouring out all my negativity on her so she becomes all depressed and everything; I wouldn't like that. I like my Miley to be happy and not depressed.

So I hide it. Constantly. I can never let it show or else people would worry.

My mom already worries sometimes when neither Miley nor Oliver are around, because apparently I just get really quiet and serious and she worries that I have slight manic depression or something. I wish she'd just leave me alone. She is always bugging me, saying that she's worried that I'm going to run myself into depression permanently.

I'M NOT EVEN DEPRESSED!

She just doesn't get it. No-one really gets it.

I once told this guy that I was dating a year or two back about how I felt, and he started pitying me, non-stop. It was the single most annoying thing in the world, so I dumped him. He'd tell me he 'understands' in this stupid, quiet voice like he was trying to be gentle or something; it drove me crazy! He wouldn't leave me alone even after I dumped him.

I don't get it, what's so great about me? It's not like I'm that cool or popular or pretty. I don't get why Oliver and Miley hang out with me, for that matter either. I asked Miley that once but she just looked at my funny and asked if I was crazy. I didn't even bother to ask Oliver.

I don't really like telling Miley about my life but Oliver has been around long enough that I don't need to tell him, he already knows it all. I've always had friends, but only Ollie and Miley have ever really been there for me. I hope I'll never lose them.

Another key part of the way I feel about friendships is my twin. I've never told anyone about my twin, because it hurts too much to talk about, but I used to have a twin. He died shortly after we were born and I think that's what makes me feel like there's something that I'm missing. I've always felt this way; like there's a part of me that's gone.

I never even really met him. My mom actually kept it a secret for years that I was a twin because she didn't want to upset me and when I did find out I was really mad that she had kept him from me. His name was Isaac. I miss him a lot and I'm not sure how I can miss someone I've never met… but I do.

It's hard for me to talk about what I'm feeling 'cause when I try, it all just gets jumbled up and comes out as nothing more than gibberish. It's easier to write out how I feel. It gives me a chance to straighten out what I want to say and how I want to say it. Sometimes it's in the form of poetry, sometimes in the form of song. Sometimes even, like now, it's in the form of a journal entry.

Things go really well sometimes and I can make it through the day fine and dandy but that 'sometimes' is actually more like 'every once in a while… times'. Most of the time something happens at some point in the day that just sets me off and, if I'm lucky, I can hold it off until night, before I have a breakdown; but I'm not always lucky. Those are the times that my mom really worries or Miley gets scared for me or Oliver has to be the shoulder for me to cry on.

It hits me the hardest when I think about my dad or Isaac. I just get sad and upset when it's about Isaac but when it's my dad that causes a breakdown, I get frustrated and angry.

A lot of times I end up hurting myself somehow during the breakdowns triggered by my dad; I'll punch a wall, break a mirror and somehow cut myself, scream into my pillow until my throat's sore… I throw stuff sometimes which never ends well!

I guess I'll always have some issues that I can't settle, or questions that can't be answered, when it comes to my dad or Isaac and I can't change that so I just need to accept it. It's hard though, and it hurts.

So, you see…? My mask is pain.