I wanted something really random to write as a break from my other stuff. This is what Sassy gave me. There is no point, it's just meant to be silly and the writing isn't stellar but I did this quickly.


Bad Hair Days

"Man, what a day, huh?"

Leon made a faint agreeing noise as he lay thoroughly exhausted beside Zack. It had been a rough day with several things going wrong and a lot of hurried repair work. Today's events had been so draining that after finishing dinner, Zack had decided that they needed to simply curl up in bed and sleep.

For the past half-hour they had laid together, Zack keeping his lover close to him and casually rubbing at his back, neck and shoulders in an effort to relax them a little. Zack had truly gifted hands and Leon really had to wonder how he got by without the older man. Everyone who said he gave the best massages had obviously not been the recipient of Zack's ministrations.

"At least we got it all taken care of." Zack nuzzled against the top of Leon's layered hair as he let his fingers kneed the base of his neck. "Tomorrow will just be clean up and finalizing the repair work."

"Yeah," Leon breathed out, his eyes slipping shut. He ran a hand idly along Zack's bare hip but there was nothing sexual about it. He was perfectly happy with the cuddling and occasional kissing they were currently engaging in. "I have to admit, today was a nice break from the boring maintenance work we've been doing."

"Yeah, it was but I definitely don't want it to become habit." Zack brought his free hand up to brush the back of his index finger along Leon's jaw. "You still have that meeting in the morning?"

"Unfortunately," the shorter man sighed out. "Seven a.m. council meeting."

"I almost feel bad that I get to sleep in a bit," Zack chuckled. The fingers of the hand working at Leon's neck pushed up and threaded through the lower layers of the other man's sable hair. As he pulled those fingers away to make another pass, a several strands of hair came out between the digits. "Wow, Squall, today must have really gotten to you."

"What?" Leon frowned, turning his head to face Zack's up held hand. There was a noticeable amount of his hair resting in the gaps between fingers.

Zack frowned deeply. "I thought your stress levels had been improving."

"They have."

"Hmm." Zack moved his hand to the edge of the bed and shook the strands out. "Maybe it's just the spike today caused."

Leon shook his head minutely. He had never lost any significant amount of hair before for any reason. It seemed really strange he would start doing so now.

"Oh, well." Zack resettled himself, pulling his bedmate closer and snuggling him against his chest. Leon sighed into it, relaxing further as he breathed in the former SOLDIER's scent. "You'll get some good sleep tonight and everything will be fine again tomorrow."

--0—0—

Leon hit the off on his alarm and lay in bed for a moment longer. While he was completely used to waking up early in the morning, he in no way enjoyed it. That was especially true when he had to attend a city council meeting first thing.

Zack's arms were still wrapped around him and he reluctantly slipped out of them, feeling that unpleasant cold that came with leaving his boyfriend's warmth. Carefully sitting up, he rolled his shoulders and glanced back to make sure he hadn't woken up Zack. Zack was still blissfully unconscious, a bit of drool trailing from his partially open mouth.

Smiling a little at the sight, Leon turned to head for the shower when the pillow caught his attention. Numerous sable-colored hairs littered the grey case, more than could be healthy. He brushed his hand along the fabric, sweeping a majority of them up into his hand and examining them.

They looked like perfectly normal hairs, not broken or frayed in any way. With his free hand, he reached up and ran his fingers along his scalp. When he finished, he drew it back and found that even more hair had come out.

Frowning deeply, he headed for the bathroom and flicked on the light, wincing a little at the sudden brightness. He deposited the hairs in his hands into the toilet before looking himself over in the mirror. The sight that greeted him was more than a bit disturbing.

His first thought was that he looked like a mangy dog. While there were no actual bald spots, there were noticeable areas where the hair had become extremely thin. He again reached up and gently gathered a section of hair and slid his hand away. More hair went out.

What the hell was happening to him?

"Squall?" Zack mumbled from the bedroom.

"Go back to sleep," Leon called back, still frowning at his reflection. He was worried about what a shower would do to his hair so he decided against one this morning. He hesitated to try brushing it but he was going to have to try something to make it more presentable.

Rather than use his hard bristle brush, he picked up Zack's styling one, hoping that the large gaps would prevent too much further loss. He made a few passes and while he didn't lose much more actual hair this way, it was doing nothing to improve his appearance. This wasn't going to work.

With a sigh, he gave up for now. He went back into the bedroom and got dressed, scowling when he noticed more hairs on his white t-shirt. He finished dressing and he took a moment to kiss Zack goodbye before heading downstairs to grab a quick breakfast. After getting down a bagel and a cup of coffee, he headed out and across town.

During the meeting, he noticed a few people looking at him oddly. It unnerved he that so many were paying more attention to his appearance than what was being discussed. There were much more important things than the state of his hair.

When the meeting let out, Rufus raised an eyebrow at him and casually asked. "A rough start this morning?"

"Something like that."

Leon quickly left and headed for headquarters. Once there, he ignored the questions Zell and Sora asked and brushed off Sephiroth's inquiring look. He simply gave everyone their orders and sent them off.

At his desk, he threw his head back. He needed to get out to his site, too, but he didn't want his hair to become a distraction. There had to be something to do with it until he figured out what was going on with it. He was certain Zack was right and it was a temporary thing due to the spike in his stress level yesterday.

Straightening his neck, he spotted a bandana lying on the table. That was the solution to his problem. He got up and collected the cloth, then tied it around his head. It effectively covered everything and if anyone asked, he was keeping the sweat from his eyes.

With bandana firmly in place, he went to work.

--0—0—

Leon had been wearing bandanas for three days now and Zack was concerned. It was one thing when he did it out in the field but he was even wearing them at home, only removing it to sleep. He woke up before Zack and would shower before dragging Zack out of bed which was highly unusual for they normally would shower together when they had to be up at the same time.

He voiced his concerns to Sephiroth on the third day, telling the older man about the odd loss of hair a few nights ago. "I don't know what's going on with him. I mean, if he's going bald it'll be funny as heck but I wouldn't care."

"If he were going bald it wouldn't have been such a sudden thing." Sephiroth commented. "It takes years for that kind of thing to really begin appearing and I've never noticed any kind of hair-loss with Leonhart."

Zack stared at him a moment before chuckling. "Are you as compulsively obsessed with other people's hair as you are about your own or what?"

"Excuse me?"

"I don't know." Zack moved on, ignoring the mild glare Sephiroth was aiming at him. "What I do know is I miss his hair and hate those damn bandanas."

"So take the bandanas away and make him deal with it."

Zack brightened. "I did! I threw out all of the ones at home and Yuffie said she would make sure the one he's wearing today got ruined."

--0—0—

Irvine walked into the planning room where Zack and Sephiroth were working. "Y'all see Squall?"

Zack shook his head and looked over. He paused and tilted his head at the lanky man. "Where's your hat?"

"That's what I want to know!" The cowboy folded his arms. "I took it off while I was workin' on the generator and fixin' to put it back on when I noticed it disappeared, along with Squall."

"Leon took your hat?" Sephiroth frowned, flicking his eyes toward Zack. "It appears he found a way around the bandanas."

"Damnit!" Zack stomped his foot. "That's it. We're going to find him and make him show us his hair!"

--0—0—

They found Leon in the meeting room, talking to a few committee heads. He was indeed wearing Irvine's cowboy hat, which looked rather odd on him. He glanced at the three as they entered and it was obvious he knew he was about to be confronted. He dismissed the others and as they filed out, he sighed and folded his arms.

"Should've been a cowboy, Squall." Zack teased as he walked toward his lover. "I can totally see you out there riding your chocobo on the cattle drive…"

"Whatever." Leon angled his head down.

"My hat totally doesn't suit you, Squall." Irvine commented. "You're more the biker type than the rough rider."

While the other two teased, Sephiroth merely studied the sable-haired man. "It must be bad if you've resorted to theft, Leonhart."

Leon took a breath and slowly removed Irvine's hat. His hair had become considerably worse than the last time Zack had seen it and the ex-SOLDIER actually winced. It looked like a mix of molten dog and three-year-old who had taken a pair of scissors to it.

Irvine whistled lowly. "Keep the hat, Squall."

"I think I know what's wrong." Sephiroth's expression was oddly sympathetic as he backed a few feet away from Leon. "That looks like a scalp infection."

"Really?" Leon looked a bit hopefully at the older man.

"You'll have to get the healers to confirm it but I've seen things similar before." The silver-haired man looked anxious to leave. "If it is, they'll give you and Zack shampoo for it."

"Why me?" Zack frowned. He noticed that Sephiroth was also not-so-subtly inching away from him, too.

"It's highly infectious. I'm certain that if you lightly pull at your hair, some will come out."

"It will?" Zack automatically reached up and pulled at his hair. Sure enough, a large amount came out. "Dude! Squall, what did you give me?"

"You'll both need to get that taken care of." Sephiroth was standing in the doorframe now and he was clearly ready to bolt out of the room. "I'm taking the next four days off."

He literally fled from the room.

Irvine shook his head with a laugh. "The man is scary as all hell but threaten his hair and he's a whimpering baby."

"Remind me to drop your hat on his head before getting it cleaned." Leon muttered, placing said head-covering back on. "I guess we should get to the healers."

"Yeah," agreed Zack, still looking at his handful of hair. As the three left the room, he chuckled. "At least I look a hell of a lot better in bandanas than you, Squall."