"Do you remember the last time you were here?"

Cara almost jumped out of her skin at the sound of the voice behind her. A voice she had known for most of her life, and yet had only just been reacquainted with recently. She turned around, slowly, facing the only other woman who was feeling the same way she was. Alone, and guilty, and everything in between.

"Did you – did you know that we used to come here?"

"Did I know?' Leia asked, a humorous tone to her voice, 'of course I knew. I would always keep an eye out on you two, whenever you were overly excited and went exploring around the base. Never really had any reason to worry though. The two of you made quite an impressive team."

Cara smiled softly, her fingers gently brushing the thick layer of dust that had encrusted itself onto the map she held in her hands. It was one of the maps that she and Ben had plotted their future journeys and adventures on. It was the first thing she had picked up as soon as she had stepped into the small storage room. There were so many memories here, the weight of them crushing her shoulders and making it hard for her to breathe; and yet, she never wanted to leave. She wanted to remain in the past, forget about everything that had happened, close her eyes, and sleep.

She wanted to forget about Ben leaving her without saying goodbye when he went to train with his uncle. She wanted to forget about her time on Jakku without him, lonely and desolate, desperately trying to give some meaning to her life but always knowing there was something vital missing. She wanted to forget about Kylo Ren, the man that she had loathed at first but learned to love, and she wanted to forget the pained look in his eyes when the chasm in the First Order's planet had opened up between them and it had finally dawned on him which side she was choosing. She wanted to forget.

She gripped the map tighter, trying desperately not to cry, blinking rapidly in order to force the tears back behind her eyes. Leia, as observant as ever, noticed the action, and took a tentative step towards the young woman stood in front of her.

"How many times am I going to have to tell you that this is not your fault?" Leia said, softly.

"You could tell me that this was not my fault for an eternity and I still would not believe you." Cara replied, muttering angrily under her breath as she realized that her tight grip on the fragile map had caused a small tear at the top of the page. She rolled it back up gingerly, placing it on the shelves behind her before she could cause any more damage to this place, or to his memory.

"You've only been home for a few hours, Cara. I'm not giving up on you already."

"I would not blame you if you did."

Leia sighed, turning around to look at the shelves surrounding them in wonderment. The General had almost forgotten about this room that her son had spent so much time in until she had seen Cara run towards it once more after her return to base. After her return home.

"You know, I always did wonder why you two loved it down here so much. So much dust, so little light."

Cara turned her back on the older woman, happy to loser herself in memories that were not able to cause her any pain. Seeing Leia standing in this room, this room she and Ben had held so dear, was only a stark reminder of his absence.

"It was never about the room itself. You're right; it's dank and musty down here. Quite frightening too, if you are six years old and wandering these halls by yourself for the very first time. Ben and I found this soon after we met, you know. It was never even really about finding a place to hide. It was about the treasure we found inside. He was so inquisitive; I think he brought out a curious side in me that I had not even really known was there until I met him. Look at all these treasures around you, Leia. Look at how much history there is here, how many stories there are to explore." Cara said, but she paused for a moment as she picked up a pair of old goggles from a Resistance pilot's helmet, delicately turning it over in her hands as she smiled fondly at an old memory threatening to resurface again.

"I think I hear my son's influence in your words, Cara." Leia said. Cara's eyes snapped towards the other woman in the opposite corner, hoping beyond hope that she had not just offended her somehow.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring up any unwanted memories." Cara said, rather quietly. The last thing she wanted was to make General Organa feel uncomfortable or sad. Cara felt she should be the only one to carry that burden.

"Unwanted memories? My dear girl, if you think a reminder of the wonderful young boy my son used to be – perhaps even, still is – is at all unwanted, you probably don't know me very well." Leia said, comfortingly laying a hand on Cara's shoulder as she spoke.

Cara lowered her gaze to the hand on her shoulder, a soothing and warm presence that warmed her cold and dry skin. A presence that made her feel more open, more willing to talk to the mother of the man that she loved so dearly. It was a needed presence, a reminder of where she was now, and the work that still needed to be done. The damage she needed to repair.

"He's very handsome you know; just like – just like his father." Cara swallowed, tears threatening to fill her eyes once more as she remembered the way Han Solo had touched his son's cheek so tenderly before falling into the black abyss below the Oscillator Bay. She could feel Leia's thumb stroking up and down her shoulder, reminding her that they were experiencing this pain together.

"I never doubted he would be." Leia smiled, albeit sadly, thankful that Cara seemed to be willing to tell her more about her son.

"His walk is still the same too – purposeful, agitated, long strides that are hard for me to keep up with." Cara turned to face Leia more directly, telling herself that the woman in front of her deserved to know about her son. Deserved to know the truth.

"Will you tell me more?" Leia asked. She would take any information that would fuel the ever-present hope inside of her.

"He's graceful, yet strong. Intimidating, yet never truly in control of his emotions. As inquisitive as ever, believe me. I could never utter a single word without him wanting to know the true meaning behind my words. I decided early on I should try and lead with the truth as much as I could. I thought – I thought it might remind Ben of the pact that we had made."

"Your promise to one another never to lie to each other. I remember. He told me about it. He was so proud to be your friend. He saw something wonderful in you, Cara. He saw something in you that may have been hard for other people to find." Leia said, her hand sliding down from Cara's shoulder to grip the younger girl's finger affectionately.

"I could never really lie to him anyways."

"I think he appreciated that about you."

Cara's hands started to tremble then, anger slowly welling up inside of her at his mother's sentiment. She often wished she could have lied, believing that it would have spared everyone involved so much pain, and so much anguish.

"Your inability to lie is a virtue Cara, not a fault. There is no need to become angry."

"I don't think I will ever stop being angry. Not unless we find a way to bring him back."

"Then that is what we will do."

Leia finally loosened her grip on the young girl's fingers, slowly moving out of the room only to look back as Cara spoke once more.

"He told me he would find me." Cara whispered, fear having replaced the anger in her voice.

"If you think that would surprise me, you'd be wrong."

"He promised he would find me."

"Does that frighten you?"

Cara wrapped her arms around herself, trying to control the trembling of her body as a result of the anger that was slowly subsiding. She could feel the two sides within her at war with themselves again; her burning desire to see him once more, to feel the light touch of his fingers against her skin and hear his words of pride and need threatened to overwhelm her. The other side of her knew the disgust she would feel with herself, the pain and anguish it would cause her to see the scar running down the length of his face and the resentment she would see in his eyes after he confronted her about her betrayal. After all, she had kept her promise to Ben Solo, not Kylo Ren. Leaving them both was the hardest thing she had ever had to do.

"Yes."

Leia looked at the young woman in front of her curiously, urging her to continue.

"I kept all my promises to Ben. But there is another side to him now, a darker side; a side that I betrayed and hurt because I kept my promise to Ben. I believe that Kylo Ren is better at keeping a promise than Ben ever was. It's impossible for me to know who I will be confronted with when the time comes and he does find me."

"You know both sides of my son better than anyone, Cara. I have a feeling that I can talk to him all I like, but the only one that will really get through to him, is you."

"How am I supposed to prepare for a confrontation like that?"

"You don't, Cara. You can't prepare for any battle, not really. You cannot fully prepare for every eventuality when you attack an enemy base. When you see my son again? When I see my son again? There is nothing in this world that will prepare us for that moment. You know what you do then?"

Cara shook her head, no. She was listening intently to every word the General said, completely understanding how she had come to rise to power and the trust she instilled in her followers.

"You use your creativity. You use that wonderful imagination of yours that my son told me so much about. You use the lessons you've learned in stories and histories and all the things that you know about him, and you use that to your advantage. You use that to get through to him. You've tried it once before. You will try it next time, too. Use that anger inside of you. Use it to fuel your imagination. Use it to push through his barriers and your own."

Leia's words reminded her of another memory, a time from years ago, when she and Ben had been sitting in this very same spot. A memory that made her remember how much he had inherited from his mother, even if he looked so very much like his father.


"I don't know how you remember all of those names and dates, Ben. It's impossible!"

"No, it's not. You just have to let yourself remember them. You need to tell yourself that this information is not useless."

"I never said I thought it was useless."

"If you thought otherwise, you would have remembered all of these dates by now."

They were sitting on the floor of their favourite storage room, books and journals strewn all around them as Ben quizzed her relentlessly on the important dates of important battles. She was genuinely interested in what had happened back then, but she wanted to hear it from Ben. She wanted to see how his eyes lit up whenever he spoke of the past and she wanted to see his excited hand gestures whenever he was trying to describe a battle strategy to her.

"Just tell me, and I'll listen."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because I like listening to you, Ben. Listening to your voice is much more interesting than having to read it in these journals."

Ben scoffed at her, annoyed at her unwillingness to participate in his love for history. He began stacking up the books around him, trying to show the infuriating girl in front of him that he was not going to waste any more time on this unless she showed him that she was truly interested. That she really wanted to learn.

"What are you doing?" Cara asked, clearly confused as to his sudden change in demeanour.

"I'm going back to my room."

"Because I said I want to listen to you? How could you possibly take that as an insult?"

"What I took as an insult was your refusal to be at all interested in the things I care about."

Cara stood up, exasperated at her friend's behaviour.

"When have I ever not shown any interest in the things you like? When have I ever refused to go on a scavenger hunt with you, or an exploration of the base?"

"That's not the same thing." Ben said, rather annoyed at her clever comeback.

Cara looked quite proud of herself, already knowing that she would win this argument but not wanting him to leave her in his usual huff of irritation either. Suddenly, she came up with an idea, knocking the journals and books he had already stacked up back onto the floor as she pulled at his arm harshly so that he would sit back down again.

"What are you doing?" He asked, rather surprised at his sudden lack of footing.

"I have an idea on how to make this more fun for both of us."

He did not respond, and she took that as her cue to continue.

"How about you tell me the vital details about each battle, and I'll make up the story that goes along with it? That way, it may even be easier for both of us to remember."

He nodded, and picked up the journal he had been reading from a few minutes before. She took in all the details he would give her, her mind already working furiously to concoct a story around these instances from the past, hoping that he would enjoy listening to her as much as she enjoyed listening to him.

Her gaze suddenly snapped back in focus as he slammed the journal on his lap closed and look at her pointedly as though he was waiting for her to begin; but before she could even utter a single word, he said one more thing before she could commence her tale.

"Your imagination has always shocked me, you know. I can always see it in your eyes when you're furiously working on a new story to tell me. I don't know how you do it, but it's incredible. I think that will come in handy one day. One day, it will probably be even more useful than all my knowledge of battle strategies and combat practice combined."

She beamed at him, proud to take his compliment and happy that he thought of her in such a positive light. As she finally began her story, she could see his smile widen at the full scope of her imagination, and she revelled in the light that shone in his eyes even in the dim glow of the storage room.


Cara stood silently, wondering what else she could possibly say to this kind woman who had always treated her as one of her own and gave her words of comfort even now. Even after all she had done.

"Listen to me, Cara. If anyone is to blame for what happened to Ben; it might have been me, and it might have been – it might have been Han. But there is a puppet master behind the curtain somewhere. He's the man we should blame. And if it takes an eternity for you to truly believe me when I say that you should not blame yourself, then that is how long I will keep repeating it to you."

With those words, Leia finally left, allowing Cara a moment to release a breath, suddenly realising that her fingers were still clutching that old pair of goggles - the ones that she had tricked Ben into wearing once. It made her remember how she had laughed at how ridiculous he looked and had blushed at the curls that had escaped from under the confines of the strap all at the same time.


A/N: The time has come for the sequel! I can't promise that it will be as long as its predecessor, but I realized that I wasn't fully done with these characters yet and I want to explore the consequences of what happened in my previous story. I've finished my thesis, been accepted into a creative writing Master's program in London - life is good, and I wanted to share my ideas with all the readers I had before and hopefully any other readers I will gain along the way. Let me know what you think, always curious to hear your thoughts!