Disclaimer: I own nothing, Oda does and for that the world is eternally grateful. :D

Okay, this is a series of one-shots, drabbles and insane sugar fueled travesties inspired by OPfanforall prompts.

In fact, all prompts come from there, no matter how loosely I interpret them so if you see one that tickles your fancy, go for it. XD

Completely crack because that's clearly how I roll.

I haven't abandoned any of my other stories by any means they just take a lot longer to write.

I have later chapters for some of my fics ready to roll but I'm not finished with the due chapter so….'Grraaagh'. :P

This only took me less than an hour (and it shows) so I figured I might as well post some of these.


Prompt:

"Some how Luffy ends up in a little black dress + high heels. How? Why? And the others reactions? And by others I mean the crew and anyone else who happens to see it."


Zoro sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose again. Why him? There must have been a million other crews that would have welcomed a swordsman of his calibre but no, he had to go to Shell Town and meet Luffy.

He paused to glare at Brooke who had the grace to look embarrassed although how a skeleton managed to communicate this emotion was beyond comprehension

Naturally, in his most trustworthy opinion, nobody else was any help whatsoever.

Nami had taken one look at Luffy and retired citing a headache while Robin smiled and laughed mysteriously which was her way of saying if she did decide to help it would only be in some way to increase her personal entertainment.

Sanji was immediately put under Choppers care as he suffered through traumatic flashbacks to his time in the Okama kingdom while hugging his favourite frying pan and repeating his 'I love women' mantra ad infinitum.

Usopp had miraculously steered clear of this particular misadventure through spending the day assisting Franky with another 'mysterious' and 'SUPER' project for the Sunny. Once they had seen what was going on and the look on Zoros' face they quickly retreated back into the workshop deciding that it was one of those things where it was best just not to get involved.

Which left those that Zoro was damn well going to blame for this whole debacle.


I mean, they had absolutely no bloody excuse for the whole thing, it wasn't as if Bon-chan or Iva-chan were anywhere within fifty miles although it smacked of something Bon would think of and if Iva was involved it would have been a hell of a lot more…convincing.

Where they managed to find a dress for Brooke was beyond him but it strangely suited him with the high neck, multiple ruffles and outdated bustle. In fact, you would be forgiven for thinking it was something like what Brookes' mother would look like.

(Zoro immediately dismissed those thoughts as nauseating and nightmare-inducing)

Luffy looked…….good? Or at least with his lanky frame and slim body he could get away with it a lot better than someone like Zoro could.

His first mate personally felt that it wasn't the dress in itself that was so bad (not really too different from robes men wore on some islands) but it was those bloody high heels that crossed the line.


Zoro took a deep breath and summoned his limited patience.

"Tell me again Luffy, why are you wearing a dress?"

Luffy grinned and adjusted his hat, not at all bothered by the draft from the rather flattering black frock draped around his lanky frame.

"You remember that reeeeeally awesome tavern we visited when we got here?"

Zoro nodded slowly, they usually made a point of eating out at least once one every island.

"Well, it turns out that girls are free on Tuesdays!!"

"Luffy.......you're not a girl."

"Pffft. We got free meat so I don't think they knew that."

And Zoro was back to pinching the bridge of his nose again.

"Luffy, you're an infamous pirate with a 300 million bounty. You could have just jumped out on the bill anyway."

His Captain blinked cluelessly and tilted his head to the side.

"?"

Zoro whirled on Brooke

"Was this your idea idiot-skeleton?"

"Yo-ho-ho-ho-ho. I'm afraid not Zoro-san. This was all the Captains' idea. He may have gotten the idea from our okama friends."

Luffy blinked and stared at Zoro watching the vein pulse dangerously in his forehead which was kinda cool but he was getting a bad feeling from watching it.

This feeling was confirmed when Zoro grabbed them both by the neck and dragged them over to the rail before slamming their heads into the wood.

"So what," he hissed dangerously "do you suggest we do about them?"

Luffy peered down onto the dock to see a rather large crowd of men clutching bundles of flowers, chocolates, jewelery, expensive trinkets and hey, that guy had an enormous plate of meat!!

Zoro ground his knuckles into the rubber skull.

"They seem to believe that you're a REAL woman…..apart from the guys in drag, they just don't care. The Log is set and we're leaving soon so get rid of your admirers before we set sail or I'll deal with them. Now go change."

Luffy did the wise thing for once and pounded off to reclaim his vest and shorts.

Brooke yo-ho-ho-ed and prepared to follow only to be halted by the reappearance of Nami with a determined expression on her face.


"And you promise to make sure that Luffyko-hime will receive my gift?"

"Of course! Yo-ho-ho-ho. A lady always properly receives all gifts and gives thanks politely. Ah, excuse me ~ ffffft."

The man quickly left and allowed the next applicant to speak to Madame Monkey, the mother of the divine Luffyko-chwan.

Funnily enough, none of them noticed the aura of greed emanating from the orange haired woman on the deck.

Luffy didn't actually receive any of the gifts because Nami sorted through them and sold what she didn't want……..except for the meat. That Sanji cooked on the provisio that Luffy and Brooke burned the dresses and promised never ever to do anything like it again.