A/N: I know that I shouldn't be starting a new story, but I can't help it. This one is fun to write. It takes place during episode 4x10 "Fugue in red". It shows more in depth how Jane would've acted around Lisbon and the team. Hope you like it!
"So tell me again why we aren't sleeping together."
Lisbon's eyes almost popped out of her head. Are you kidding me? He was already back to that. And in front of the team! Could he be anymore of an annoyance? "Well, for one I'm your boss. It would be totally unprofessional and inappropriate. And two, this conversation is over." She threw her papers on the conference table and headed for the break room. She heard his footsteps quickly following and rolled her eyes. Damn it, no matter who he remembered himself to be he was still a pain in the ass.
He whispered in her ear, "But are you really my boss? I'm not a cop. I'm just the psychic. You really have no serious control over me" he replied with the biggest smirk she had ever seen.
"You know what-" She turned on her heel so fast that he didn't have time to stop walking and rammed right into her. She lost her footing and could feel gravity pushing her down. But like magic, his strong hands wrapped around her skimpy arms to hold her in place. Her mouth was open and she was speechless.
"I know that you're a very beautiful woman and I'm...well, I'm quite an attractive man. Especially based on the looks of desire I've been receiving from all the females around here. You must be attracted to me. I can tell that you want me by the blush thats currently creeping up your neck." His eyes roamed over her chest, neck, and face. He locked eyes with her. "The only thing I can't decipher is whether we've already slept together or not." He took a step back and let go of her, "but I'm quite positive I would remember what you looked like naked."
She heard someone burst into a coughing fit somewhere behind her. Shit. Who is it. Who. Who. Who! She squeezed her eyes and took a deep breath. She looked up at Jane to see him studying her with a huge grin. She turned herself around only to find a man hunched over the counter, still coughing.
Jane beat her to him. "Well hello there agent. I'm deeply sorry my colleague and I startled you." Jane started to lightly pat the poor guy on the back. "We were simply discussing our sex lives outside this office. Surely you can understand the raw male desires that our dear Agent Lisbon clearly ignites in the men around here."
The man swiftly smacked Jane's arm away, while turning to face Lisbon. Are you kidding me?!...Wainwright! "Agent Lisbon what is going on here? Please tell me this is some kind of silly prank?" He looked totally unamused.
"I...um...Sir...Jane, here isn't exactly himself right now. He um-"
Jane cut her off, "What she's trying to say is I just got out of the hospital and I'm experiencing a little bought of memory loss...a fugue to be exact. Tell me, do you know if Agent Lisbon and I are sleeping together?" Jane got his face closer to Wainwrights.
"Jane! Shut up!" She sent him a death glare. Then she addressed Wainwright, "Sir, we aren't sleeping together, like I've already told him earlier. He is confused and doesn't realize what he's saying."
"This isn't some kind of carnival or daytime television show, Mr. Jane. It's a serious workplace with officers of the law, who are obviously expected to follow the law. There is not nor will there be any future fraternization going on between the two of you. Am I understood Agent Lisbon?"
"Of course Sir. Yes."
"And what about you Mr. Jane? Do you understand what I just said?"
"Oh sure, I understand but I'm not entirely sure that I agree. It would kind of be a crime in and of itself to let such an enticing woman go to waste", Jane answered. "You've had to notice. Come on, unless you're blind?", he added.
What. The. Hell. Jane. Lisbon was going to take him into her office and shoot him. But first, duct tape his mouth so he could never embarrass her like this again! Wainwright stood speechless.
Lisbon and Wainwright continued to stare at the floor with wide eyes, while Jane observed them both with amusement.
"...uh...Boss?", said a new voice.
Lisbon was sill stunned and continued processing what had just transpired.
"Is this a bad time?" Rigsby looked at all three of their faces and instantly felt uncomfortable.
Lisbon's brain snapped back to reality. Yes! An interruption! "No! Go ahead... What is it?", she may have said a little too eagerly.
"We got a lead on the BOLO from earlier. Just wanted to let you know."
"Great...yes, great. Lets go." Lisbon started to follow Rigsby towards the bullpen. She abruptly ran back and grabbed Jane by the arm, "time to go, Jane." She risked a peak at Wainwright, "sorry Sir, duty calls" she gave him a tight smile and disappeared with Jane.
TBC. This story is fun to write. I've always wanted to see Lisbon's reaction to Jane making sexual comments towards her. Let me know what you think and if you want to swe any kind of scene in particular. thanks for reading :)
