I Am Here

I am here.

I am here, and yet no one hears me.

I am here, screaming, pleading for someone to come, and yet no one hears me.

I am here, standing in a white...of what it is, I know not, screaming, pleading for someone to come, and yet no one hears me.

I am here, blinded by this light, standing in a white..of what it is, I know not, screaming, pleading for someone to come, and yet no one hears me.

I am here,

I am here, I am..nowhere, the pain has not yet come, but I know it will, I know it will. It will. Trust me, I know it shall come.

I am here, I am here, I stand here, looking upon something...I squint, longing to get a glimpse of..what it is.

I have long sense ceased screaming..pleading, for, what is the point, no one will ever hear me. I must save my strength, but why? I know naught.

I am here, I look up and see something coming towards it. It, whatever IT is, is a dark color, and it looks strange to my eyes, in this white abyss.

This white..world, that I have known for some time now, that I shall never leave, for I can't. I just can't...to better rephrase it, I am not able to leave here.

I am here, and I see that the 'thing' has come closer, and I can see indeed that it is a person, a man, I think, as I squint to get a better look.

A flare of hope rises up in my heart, which is nearly choking me in my excitement, as I feel that my brain has sent a message to my body to move my legs, forward, at least I think it is forward.

I cannot tell in this- ever so slowly closing in me- white abyss.

My legs move forward, my throat moves, longing to make a noise, a sound, to attract this 'man's' attention.

Finally a small gasp escapes my mouth, my throat moves once again, and a yell ensues from it.

I suddenly stumble and am on one knee, I grunt, and yet I look up and the man is even closer. He is smiling.

He is smiling, at me, it is such a gentle smile, a warming smile, a smile that promises many good things.

Suddenly, I blink, and he is gone..no, not gone..I turn my head, and I see that he is right beside me, looking down at me, with that smile.

That smile, that brings tears to my eyes, of sad or joyful tears, I do not know.

The man, with that smile, holds his hand out, beckoning for me to stand, to rise, to see him face-to-face.

He has not spoken, yet I feel as if I know what his voice will sound like.

I have not spoken either, yet I take his hand and he pulls me up. I look up, into his face, tears now streaming down my face, and I smile.

I smile, because I cannot help but smile at this man.

This man, who's face is so kind, so gentle, and yet there is a hidden promise in those eyes, those eyes that say that he has seen many things, many things in which you could only imagine of.

This man has long hair, streaked with gray, in the middle is a ponytail, his nose looks a little crooked, and yet I look into his eyes.

I cannot help it, those eyes draw you to you, and once they've got you, you cannot escape them.

A sudden memory flashes in my mind, I try to hang onto it, but it blows away, as if there was a breeze in my mind, and I am frustrated that I cannot recall that memory.

But...

But, something does stay. Something special..A name. One lonely name, and yet, I vaguely recall that I have said this name before.

My mouth opens, slowly, I stand here, in this white abyss and say one lonely name. A whisper of a name...

"Qui-Gon.."

After the name has escaped my lips, I stand there, watching..Qui-Gon, and I blink as he nods, ever so slowly.

Ever so slowly, that if I had blinked a second before, I would have missed this nod.

I stand there, I feel as if I should know this man, as if I had met him, somewhere, sometime...it feels as if hundreds of years have passed.

Since the last time, I have seen anything besides white.

Qui-Gon smiles at me, he places his large calloused hand on my shoulder and gives it a slight gentle squeeze.

I think he knows who I am, but all I know about him is..the name I have said.

I know naught even my own name.

My heart constricts at that thought and more tears appear in my eyes.

I quickly squeeze my eyes shut, so they will not spill.

I open my mouth, and ask one question.

"Will the pain come?" I ask softly, still not opening my eyes.

"No, the pain will not come." Qui-Gon says softly.

Well, I was wrong on one thing. I am glad the pain will not come. Yet, I have a yearning...

My eyelids press even harder, oh how I long to know my name. But I know, he will not tell me, until the time has come.

I open my eyes, we are still standing in this white abyss, just us two lonely people.

Standing nowhere and yet everywhere.

I turn to look at this man.

"Where are we." hoping for the answer, yet I have a feeling I will not know it.

"I cannot tell you that yet. I am sorry." He says regretfully.

I become angry, angry that I am stuck here, in this white abyss, knowing nothing of who I am, where I am, only knowing this one man's name, nothing more.

I turn to 'Qui-Gon' angerly, glaring at him.

"What do you mean, you cannot tel me..YET! Why not now! I need to know, I have to know!" I yell at him, wanting to see some kind of reaction in him, any at all.

But all I get is a calm stare, and if you looked deep into his eyes you could just see a hint of amusement, which gets me angrier.

I long to hurt him, to show him how I feel, and yet, deep down, I know doing that will not help, so I restrain myself, albeit reluctantly.

I turn away from him, sick of his image, sick of this white abyss, sick of everything.

All I want to know is...

All I want to know is how I got to be here, who I am, why he is here...

Suddenly a sharp pain moves through my body, which makes me fall to my knees as another pain hits me. It is strange. I thought he said there would be no pain...

Another pain hits me..I look up at Qui-Gon, I know there is pleading in my eyes, to know why, that is all I want to know.

"YOU SAID THERE WAS NO PAIN!" I scream at him, the pain becoming stronger, as I put my arms around my stomach, as if to wrap myself, to ward the pain off.

I am screaming continually now, and I almost don't hear him say, "I am sorry, there was no pain, for me..but as I see, you are not meant to be here, that is why you feel such pain. You are meant to go back to the living.."

The pain is excruciating, my brain feels as if it is going to explode, my body feels as if sharp daggers are pointing on my skin.

"THE LIVING! What are you talking about!" I manage to croak out, between gasps of pain, deep gasps.

I manage to lift my head, to look at him, between tears of pain in my eyes. I see a smile on his face, a smile of joy mixed with terrible sadness.

"You are meant to be with the living, to be with the ones you love, we will meet again, I assure you."

"We will meet again, Padmé, someday. Never forget that.." and with that, he disappeared.

I lay there, my body nub, my eyes shut, and one last thought drifts through my mind before I lose 'consciousness'.

"My name is Padmé..."

A terrible weight is upon me, I long to open my eyes, but they will not obey me.

I long to speak, but my mouth and tongue will not obey me.

And slowly..

Slowly, I hear my name being muttered, over and over..and I feel something touch my hand, softly.

"Padmé, come on, stay with me, Padmé, you cannot leave me. I love you too much."

My body is numb, and the only thing I can feel is a man grab my hand, caressing it softly.

It is not the same man as Qui-Gon, this man has a different voice.

I stretch my mind, trying to remember, for I feel as if I should know this man as well.

My brain is screaming, "I know! I am here! I am alive!" and yet no one hears me.

I long to talk to this man, to feel his love.

Suddenly my eyelid twitches, and I hear the man gasp.

My eyes open.

Tears are already forming in my eyes, and I know why.

The man before me, is the most handsomeness I have ever seen, and I can feel his love for me radiating off of him.

And, the memories have come back.

Yes, the memories. I remember everything, the fall of Anakin, the birth of the twins...

The twins!

Obi-Wan once again squeezes my hand again, smiling at me, tears in his eyes as well.

"The children are fine, my love."

I nod slowly, closing my eyes, longing for rest, yet afraid that I will land in that white abyss again.

But Obi-Wan is here, so I should not fear anything.

My love is here, to protect me.

I manage to mutter something, before I drift off . "Our children are safe, Obi-Wan. Our children..."

I don't believe any of us have ever actually found out what happened to me that day.

Although I believe Obi-Wan had his suspicions...

But that was in the past, and I have to look into the future...

I smile, as I think of our children as I drift off to a much needed sleep...

I am here.

I am here, and someone did hear me.

Someone did hear me.

Hope ya'll liked it! Please R&R and tell me what ya thought of it! Oh, thank you Ticklesivory for beta reading this and telling me what you thought! (smiles)

P.K.-91 out.