This is my fic, Fidelity, based on the song by Regina Spektor. I've already written a lot on another site, so updates should be frequent at least for a while. Please review, it will give me more reason to continue and update sooner.Without further ado...

Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy, or any of the characters or plots associated with it besides the ones I have created here. I am not affiliated with Regina Spektor.

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"I never loved nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting my heart truly
I got lost in the sounds
I hear in my mind all these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind all this music

And it breaks my heart x4

And suppose I never met you
Suppose we never fell in love
Suppose I never ever let you kiss me so sweet and so soft
Suppose I never ever saw you
Suppose we never ever called
Suppose I kept on singing love songs just to break my own fall
Just to break my fall
Just to break my fall
Break my fall
Break my fall" - Regina Spektor

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Christina Yang absolutely hated to admit someone was right. Especially when it meant that she was wrong. That's why she had done the whole silent thing with Burke. She didn't want to say he was right – not to mention that fact that usually, she felt that she was right. Most of the time it remained that way. But this time she knew she had been wrong.

Burke had warned her after the Prom for the chief's niece that it would happen. He could tell, through what Derek told him, and from what Christina told him about Meredith, that they really did love each other. That they were it. They were the only ones the other could love for their whole life. They had found the love of the lives. Meredith and Derek were meant to be. For some reason, Christina wasn't too hasty to see things the same way. She agreed that she would keep an eye on them, try and keep them functioning. She had mostly done it to get Burke to zip it. She really did watch. But she didn't do anything to stop the inevitable disaster.

They all knew, of course, that Addison would find out one day. Whether it would be from Derek or through some other way, they could not determine. Meredith and Derek tried to stay normal around each other, to ignore their feelings. But one day, Derek couldn't. He told Addison he was leaving her, and he wanted a divorce. She signed the papers without question. It went rather smoothly. Their divorce was occurring civilly between the two. No arguing or backstabbing. It seemed that everything would be okay. It might work out, and the couple almost everyone had been rooting for could live happily ever after, together.

Derek went to go see Meredith. He was overjoyed. The papers were signed and in the hands of two very official, top-of-the-class lawyers. It would finally be over between him and Addison. Derek and Meredith could be together again. He told Burke he was going to see her. He had actually been encouraged to do so. In turn, Burke told Christina, who made sure Meredith was where she was supposed to be and when. But, three hours after he was expected, there was still no Derek. Four hours, five hours. No Derek. Finally Christina, Izzie and George gave up, letting Meredith retreat to her bedroom to wallow. After all, she had every reason to wallow. She still didn't know about the divorce. And no one was going to tell her unless it was Addison or Derek themselves.

A week later, Christina sat on Meredith's couch, waiting for her to get out of the shower. She had been wallowing in self-pity and depression all week, refusing to get out of bed unless she was going to work. Two out of the six days she called in sick and lie in bed all day, wallowing more. She saw Addison, and it seemed that nothing had changed. Except one very important thing. Derek was missing. No one had seen him since he said goodbye to Burke at the bar. He called the chief the next day and told him he'd be gone for a while. He didn't say why or where he was. He didn't answer the numerous phone calls or pages they sent to him, all from various people. He was just disappeared. He was gone.

So when Meredith called in sick those days, and lied wallowing in bed, Christina knew she had been wrong. She hated to admit it. She never liked being wrong. But Burke was right. It had taken Meredith being a complete wreck and Derek going missing for her to realize it, but she did in fact realize it. Meredith and Derek were it for each other. They were the love of each others' lives. Except now that Christina had realized it, it was too late. Derek was already gone, and Meredith was already broken.

The same question was on everyone's mind: what now?

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Meredith had finally been convinced to get out of bed. She took a shower and went downstairs to meet Christina. She paused on the steps when she heard voices coming from the kitchen.

Christina: What the hell are we going to do?

…. She was met by silence.

Christina again: we can't do nothing. I mean, she's completely lost it. I thought she was out of it after prom, and now that he's gone, it's so much worse. I don't know about you guys, but seriously. I can't take it anymore.

Izzie: We're just being supportive.

Christina: Yeah well, we see how that's been working. She called in sick twice this week. Twice. You cannot tell me that the Meredith you know would call in sick to work unless she was seriously messed up. I mean, she's missing surgeries!

George: um…

Izzie: We know she's messed up. She's dark and twisty Meredith. We're just trying to help dark and twisty Meredith.

Christina: By being supportive of her being dark and twisty?

George: Exactly. Wait, that's not right…

Christina: see my point. It's time for intervention. I need my person back.

Meredith just sighed and sat down on the steps. She knew she wasn't acting like herself lately. But honestly, she wasn't herself. Without Derek there with her, even if he wasn't hers, she felt like she was missing something. Like she didn't have a leg, or an arm. She felt crippled without him there. And worse than that, whenever she went to the hospital, or passed the ferry docks, or saw or smelled anything that reminded her of him, she would lose it. She wouldn't be able to breathe, like her lungs were crushing underneath the pressure. It wasn't just her rib cage pressing in on her, but also the utter loneliness of it all.

She knew her friends were worried. She knew that she shouldn't be acting like this. He was married, after all, and she was his dirty mistress. She should feel guilty, not lonely. None of them understood. None of them, except Izzie, had faced the loss of a love. They didn't get it. They couldn't feel the pain. And as for Izzie herself, she refused to think of Meredith's situation as a loss. No one had died. Besides, he wasn't hers to lose.

So for now, Meredith had to grieve alone. She had to do anything she could do cope. And sometimes that meant calling in sick to work so she could escape all of the things that reminded her of Derek. Meredith walked back up the stairs, deciding she wasn't ready to go down and face them just yet. She went into the bathroom and closed the door behind her, sliding down against it. She couldn't help but think right then that without him, she wouldn't be able to come back from the hurt and the pain. That she would never recover. That she would never be able to mend her broken heart.

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