Chibi Envy Chan does not own any of the characters from Fullmetal Alchemist. Unless Chibi states it, all characters belong to Hiromu Arakawa.

Warning: Most of Chibi's one-shots will contain shounen ai or shoujo ai. If you do not like same sex pairings, then there is the lovely back button. You have been warned.

Title: Turning the Tables
Author: Chibi Envy Chan
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Rating: PG
Warning: Male relationships, crack pairing, some OOCness
Pairing: Roy/Envy

Not hearing from That Person for awhile and becoming bored, Envy decided to take the situation into his hands. Normally, he would wreak havoc among the masses, but That Person ordered him to keep a low profile and not to draw attention to them. Well, that left him with a lack of something to do since he had no leads on That Bastard. He could have called Sloth; however, Envy had been corrected by That Person. Actually, he had been lectured, which he tried to ignore. Unfortunately, her voice was too grating to ignore. Plus, he didn't feel like being punished.

So there he was, sauntering down the corridor on his way to Pride's office in his usual form and outfit, his ouroboros showing. With every step he took, he swayed his hips in a seductive manner. He ignored the whispers that seemed to follow him wherever he went in this form.

Seeing the homunculus, the military personnel whispered to each other, asking what sex that person was. There were even betting pools on this. They were divided on the issue though.

"Is there anything I can help you with?" Roy inquired, stepping out of his office. He knew this new person wasn't stationed at this place or even personnel.

The eldest homunculus whirled around on his heel to face this human and appeared to be studying him. 'So this is the Flame Alchemist. Not bad looking, but I'm better.' "I have a meeting with the Fuhrer." He drawled.

Roy raised a brow but didn't comment on it. "Would you like me to lead you there?"

Envy turned his nose up, which Roy surprisingly found cute. "What makes you think I'm inept with directions?"

The Colonel raised his hands as he had no idea whether this person was male or female. "I haven't seen you around here."

The homunculus rolled his eyes. "Of course, you haven't. I'm not around here." He decided it was time to leave the human. Minutes later, he discovered he wasn't alone as someone was following him. "Don't you have anything better to do?"

Roy smiled. Sure, he had paperwork, but he really didn't feel like taking care of it right now. "No, not really."

"Then go bother someone else," Envy said, trying to shoo away the Colonel.

"But they're not as cute as you," Roy said.

Envy came to an abrupt halt, stiffening right away. He turned around and glared at the Colonel with murderous intent. "Don't play games with me."

The Colonel, on the other hand, appeared to be calm, despite the situation. "I'm serious. You're really cute, and I'd like to know you."

Now the homunculus was starting to feel nervous. He didn't like it at all. "You're lying. Besides, I'm male."

"And your point is?"

Oh crap. That didn't work. Envy needed a new tactic. "You wouldn't like what you find."

Roy had a small smile. "Does it really matter? Everyone has dark secrets, including me." He walked up to the homunculus and surprisingly was able to put his hand under Envy's chin to raise his head so he could look into his eyes. If he wanted to get to know this person, he needed the other to be calm. This tense look didn't suit him.

Feeling the human closer to him, the homunculus stiffened further. He wasn't used to being close to another without the threat of violence or fighting. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Roy returned as he kept his hand underneath the homunculus' chin. This time he decided to take a chance as he stepped closer to the now nervous Envy while keeping constant eye contact.

Envy was more than nervous. Normally humans would be scared at the sight of him. Instead of attacking, he backed off, not having a response for this situation. He backed up until he bumped against the wall. Before he could go anywhere, he was enveloped in a gentle hug. "Let go." He said, but he sounded weak even in his own ears.

Moving his hand, Roy stroked Envy's back in attempt to calm him down. He knew he needed to be calm and project that. When he felt the person relax against him, he smiled. It worked.

The homunculus missed this, being held. He didn't know why, but it felt comfortable. At the same time, it made him appear weak. If the human said anything about this, Envy was personally going to castrate him.

"Now do I have the privilege of knowing your name?" Roy asked playfully while still embracing the homunculus.

"Envy."

"I bet the others must be envious of you."

This time Envy blushed. No one had given him this much attention or was patient with him. Hell, barely anyone complemented him without wanting something in return. "You jest with me."

Roy shook his head. "No, I'm not. I'm serious. How about lunch after your meeting with the Fuhrer?" He suggested as he released his embrace.

For some reason, Envy missed the warmth of contact. "Ah, he can wait." He shrugged before sauntering off. When Roy didn't follow, he turned his head to look at him. "You coming or what?"

"Yeah."