*Story concerns Tenth Doctor & Rose
*Nothing Doctor Who (aside from some books, magazines and dvds) belongs to me, sadly.
Until There's Another Girl in the Fireplace
Rose
I really can't believe he did that. The Doctor I've known for the past year would never have left me behind. At least, I thought he wouldn't.
Shots of pain electrify my fingertips as my eyes well up with tears that I refuse to let fall.
I busy myself with looking at the console screen, as if I understand anything the TARDIS has plastered on it. She hums soothingly, letting me know she's there to comfort me. I stroke a railing near the console, appreciative that at least something from this reality would realize if I were gone. I get lost in my numbness until I hear his footsteps.
I look up at him, neither smiling nor glaring. My hands clench into fists as I notice that he hasn't even realized I'm there. He's staring solemnly at some sheet of paper. Then with swiftness, he folds it back up and hides it in his coat.
Must be from her. The tightening jealousy in my chest grows. I stifle a growl.
"Hello Doctor. Nice to see you again," I say, sarcastically.
He looks up, pain in his eyes. I feel my heart soften just a tiny bit.
"Oh. Hello, Rose."
A heartbeat passes and he looks down at the console screen.
That's all he says.
There's no apology, no "Oh! How could I have done such a thing!" or "Rose, I would have found my way back to you."
Nothing.
And with that, my tears and pain can no longer be controlled and before I can stop myself, I turn around towards the sleeping corridor and run away from my heart.
The Doctor
Well, what was that for?
I can hear her angry steps down the corridor. I quickly think over the short conversation, unable to find whatever it was that made Rose upset. My hearts are split between wanting to go after her to see what is wrong so I can fix it and sitting here to think about Reinette.
Reinette was never meant for me, I think, sadly. She was the mistress to the king of France. But for a glimpse of time, it felt like it could have been…me and her. A sad chuckle escapes my throat. Highly unlikely, I think.
I turn from the heart of the TARDIS down the hallway near Rose's room. When I finally reach it, I lift my arm to knock when I hear a noise I'm not used to hearing aboard my ship. I press my ear against the door, holding my breath, hoping that I've been mistaken.
But plain as day, I can hear her through the door. Rose is crying.
She's not sobbing uncontrollably, the way some people may do in order to get attention. No, Rose's crying is private, a heartbreakingly private sound. My eyes widen as I tear myself from the door.
Did I make her cry?
My mouth gapes open. But…I've done nothing. I haven't even seen her much since we first dropped in on the other ship. I decide against bothering her right now and instead go two doors down to my room. It's been a long day.
I creep in, closing the door quietly behind me. I doubt Rose can hear me, but I don't want her bothered, especially if it is me that made her cry. I take off the long, heavy coat, tossing it on a nearby chair.
I sit on the bed, cringing when I hear its creak. Burying my face in my hands, I let out a heavy sigh. The weight of the world…and then some. I hear a rumbling within the walls. Looking up, I smooth over the TARDIS's walls. "What is it?" I whisper. Telepathically, I can feel that the TARDIS is upset. "Is it because of Rose? I don't know why she's crying…" This causes the TARDIS's rumble to turn to more of a growl. "Okay, okay!" I whisper loudly, "I know I did something wrong!"
I just don't know what it is.
Rose
I can hear the stillness of the TARDIS and I wonder what the Doctor is doing. As much as I am angry at him, my life is still engulfed by him and I can't disconnect as easily as he can.
My body feels stiff from not having moved an inch since I stormed in here. I bet he wonders what he did to make me cry. I bet he doesn't even realize what he did.
Or maybe he does and he just doesn't care. Fresh pain grows within me. I push the painful thought away.
It's not like I don't understand what he saw in her. She was gorgeous and intelligent. I felt so stupid when I was speaking to her. And then she called me child. It was just as bad as when his ninth self used to call me an ape. If she hadn't passed away after that last glimmer of time, he would have asked her to come aboard the TARDIS and I would be on a trip back home.
I sit up, willing my muscles from their soreness. With a sad sigh, I stand up to gather some clothes to go take a shower. As I walk past my mirror, the sight astounds me. I've never looked so pale, puffy eyed, or…heartbroken.
Well, it's not every day you lose your world.
I grab my things without another look to the mirror and open the door to the hallway.
The Doctor
I'll just talk to her…see what I did wr…
With a shriek and clothes flying about, I collide with Rose in the hallway. That's what I get for living in my own world and for staring at the ceiling while I walk.
I can feel her about to trip over my feet and I catch her, hugging her to me so I can steady her. It's during this movement that I notice the paleness of her face. Her eyes are crimson with the tears she's been shedding. Her platinum locks are in disarray, something very unusual for Rose.
It's after my scrutinizing of her face that I realize I still have her clutched to me, my arms snaked around her waist. Her eyes have grown wide as they look into mine. I can feel the speed of my hearts pick up.
I cough loudly and detach myself from her, jumping a foot away from her in the process. I see her wince at my response.
"Rose, are you okay? You've been crying. Did I do something wrong?"
She looks at the floor, her bottom lip quivering a bit, her hair hiding her face from me. I resist the urge to push the locks behind her ear. I resist the urge to lift her chin with my fingertips so I can look into her eyes. I repeat the mantra over and over in my mind.
"It's nothing Doctor. I was just about to go take a shower. See ya in a bit."
And with that she picks up her clothes from where they fell, sidesteps me and enters the bathroom across her room.
I stand there for a moment after she's gone, wondering what I did to make her voice sound so heavy with poignancy. Maybe the TARDIS can help me.
I walk briskly to the console.
What did I do to hurt Rose? No point in beating around it.
She responds with a slow rumbling. She's trying to contain her anger towards me. This is how she always gets when I do something moronic (in her opinion).
Her words pass through my mind and I let my mouth gape open again.
But I would have found my way back to her. I wouldn't have left her.
A gentle growl escapes her.
Of course I didn't forget about her! Is that what she thinks? It wouldn't have been the first time we would be forced apart. I found my way back those times too!
The growl grows more pronounced. Her response causes my hearts to falter in their beating.
No, I guess no one forced me apart from her this time. But I had to save Reinette…
Her growls have returned to a gentle stirring.
No. I don't know. I cared for her…I don't know if I loved her. Didn't know her long enough to love. But yes, I cared for her deeply.
She remains silent at my answer.
But no one can replace Rose. I wouldn't have left her. Is that what she thinks?
Her silence answers it all.
Rose
I let the scalding water flow over me. The water disguises the new tears as I let myself sob the pain away. Only the pain isn't disappearing, it's only digging itself deeper in my heart. Could he have jumped any further away from me to keep himself from touching me? Does my skin burn him that badly?
He could never love me. I'm only his companion. A stupid ape. I'm only a presence until the next girl in the fireplace comes along.
The realization seeps in my pores. I shiver under the heat of the water. I had never allowed myself to even think of the word. But what was there to lose now? Now that I realized how easily I could be replaced. Had I really thought that I held a special place in his hearts? Now that I knew, I could finally admit how badly I loved the Doctor and how much it hurt to know that he would never feel the same for me. Not just because of my mortality, but because he simply didn't care for me the way I wanted him to. Not the way he cared for Reinette.
Even just her name brought fresh tears to my eyes, and a new blossoming of jealousy in my chest.
The Doctor
My mind feels numb after thinking so much. I'm a Time Lord! I shouldn't get headaches…or head….numbness…
It's awhile before I finally hear her gentle footsteps entering. I look to see her hair is back to normal and although there is still some swelling around her eyes, she seems okay now. She's got her pale pink pajamas on; her feet are bare against the console room floor.
She's walking in my direction, but she won't look up at me.
Does she really think that I would have left her behind?
This is the longest she's gone without speaking to me, or even smiling. She always smiles that Rose Tyler smile. I find myself missing it much more than I probably should.
"Rose?" My voice sounds weak, my throat dry.
She looks up then, her eyes wide and full of hurt. I don't know how I couldn't have seen it there before.
"Yes, Doctor?" Her voice is flat, soft. It hurts me most of all. Where is her spirit? That joy she always brings? We can't have two depressed lumps lying around the TARDIS. Well…three if you count the TARDIS itself…
The blue box rumbles angrily.
Oops. Sometimes I forget it's not just me in my head.
"Tell me what's wrong." I need to hear it from her…what she thinks happened back with Reinette.
Her control falters and she looks down at her hands, which are gripping the TARDIS by the rail.
"Nothing is wrong Doctor."
Now I know something is wrong. She hasn't even teased me or rolled her eyes at me this entire time. I sigh heavily. I really hurt her that badly.
I stand up from the console chair. "Come Rose, have a seat, we need to talk."
Her head shoots up and I see something besides pain…fear? I would never intentionally hurt her. What odd emotional reactions these humans have.
"Go ahead, have a seat." I move to take a hold of her hand, but yet again, she side steps past me to the chair. A shot of pain permeates my skin. I ignore it.
"Now Rose…what's all this about you thinking I'm gonna leave you for Reinette?" I let it flood out in a dribble.
She appears shocked and then throws an accusatory glance up at the ceiling. The TARDIS hums apologetically.
"Now, don't get mad at her. I had to know what was wrong with you. Now tell me why you think that." I resist the urge to lecture her on why she shouldn't be thinking these things. I really want to know what's made her hurt so.
Silence inundates the TARDIS for what seems like forever. And I'm a Time Lord, so that feels like a very long time…
I'm about to open my mouth to force her to tell me what's wrong when she finally speaks. I don't hear her too well at first, it seems like she's talking to herself. But then suddenly, she looks up at me, those sharp hazel eyes of hers piercing straight down into me. I feel myself taking a sharp intake of breath.
"You were gonna leave me. You were gonna stay with her, not even thinking about what would happen to me. You were gonna leave and never come back…without even saying goodbye," she whispers.
The sound her voice makes chills me. She doesn't say it coldly, or even with the intention of hurting me. No. It chills me because I can hear her heart breaking through her words. I fight the urge to hold her face in my hands, forcing her to look at me and to listen to what I'm saying.
Instead, I bury my face in my hands.
This is so complicated.
Rose
There. I said it. Now he can send me packin' if he wants.
Once he's done rubbing his hands all over his face, through his hair, he tugs at his ear while staring at the ceiling. His little mannerisms letting me know that he's thinking. I have to look away from him before I giggle at the sight.
I hear him clear his throat and I look back at him, wondering idly how he'll hurt me next.
"Well, you see, the problem is, see, well…that's just not true, you see." He's got this huge grin on his face, his teeth all shiny and bright white. I bite my lip to keep from smiling. His words may be lies, but his smile still melts my heart.
He watches me, expecting me to exclaim, "Oh yes, of course! How stupid am I?" But that's not going to happen. I sit, staring at him.
He clears his throat and, once he notices I'm not budging, he says, "It's really stupid to think that I'd just leave without even saying goodbye…"
This infuriates me anew.
"Is it now? It's not like you did it to Sarah-Jane or anything…" My voice is a bit loud in the silent TARDIS. But, really, how could he dismiss his companions so easily?
A wave of emotion hits his eyes as his grin fades. He knows the truth of my words. He knows what he's done.
He steps closer to me. I'm unable…unwilling…to move away.
He places his hand tenderly on my cheek. The heat of it staggers me, as it always does when he touches me.
"You are not Sarah-Jane. And Reinette is not you." His voice is unbearably appealing, even a bit seductive if I didn't know any better.
My eyes are unable to separate from his. I want so badly to close the distance between us.
I don't, of course.
"It would be ok, ya' know…if you wanted her to come along…I would have gone home." The words break what's left of me…because I would do that for him. I want him to be happy.
He furrows his brow, still gently caressing my face with his surprisingly soft hand.
"I don't want you go to home."
My heart swells.
The Doctor
I don't ever want her to go home. If only that were possible.
It feels too good, touching her like this.
Abruptly, I pull my hand away and replace the seriousness in my voice and face.
"Now, where shall we be off to, eh? Care to finally take that trip to Barcelona? Or somewhere else, tease ourselves a bit, yeah?" I grin from ear to ear, glad to finally have that over with.
She responds with a small smile. Not exactly the full powered Tyler smile, but I'll take it.
"Surprise me. I'm going off to bed." And with that she hops off the chair and toward her room.
"Goodnight Rose!" I yell after her.
"Goodnight Doctor!" Her voice a bit lighter.
My grin grows.
Chapter 2
Rose
"Where are we?" My eyes can barely handle it. The sky is the brightest blue I have ever seen. It's unearthly. Literally.
We're standing outside the TARDIS standing arm to shoulder looking out on the high cliff we've landed on. The sea has a pinkish hue, making the sky that much more gorgeous.
The Doctor places his hands in his coat pockets as he kicks up his Converse, stepping closer to the edge.
My heart skips. "Doctor, not so close, yeah?"
He grins widely as he looks up at me. "Are you worried Rose Tyler?" he says in a teasing tone.
Yes. "No. Not much." I move closer in case he trips so I can reach for him.
He continues smiling and steps away from the edge.
"This is the island of Parynus. Wonderful isn't it?"
"It's gorgeous."
We stay silent for awhile. I sit on the blue-tinted grass, looking out to the sea. He joins me, choosing to lie back.
"So, what are we gonna do here?" I ask eventually.
I turn back to see his closed eyes. I take the opportunity to let my eyes roam the contours of his face and down his neck. I look away before I can go any further and before he catches me looking.
"Well, I figure we could spend some time here. It's a pretty relaxing place here actually. Peaceful people. There's only about 100 of them on the island."
My eyes widen. "Only 100 people?"
His eyes flutter open as he grins, "Well, 102 now."
I laugh at the last bit.
"What is there to do for fun?" I ask.
He ponders for a moment, propping himself on his elbows.
"Well, I've never spent too much time on the island…too calm…too…un-dangerous-like…" he laughs his goofy laugh.
I roll my eyes and lay back on the grass. "I guess we'll find something fun to do."
I turn to look at him just in time to catch a faint blush on his cheeks.
The Doctor
"Rose Tyler, just because I said we could dress up for dinner does not mean that you can take an eternity getting ready! I'm HUNGRY!" I shout.
Sigh. I wish I had a banana.
"Now, you just calm down Doctor, I'll be done when I'm DONE." She shouts.
I roll my eyes and sit myself on the console chair. I stare down at the monkey suit I have on. Now, if it were a real monkey suit that would be interesting…
No, I'm wearing a tuxedo. It should be a dirty word. But that's what I get for trying to make things up to Rose. She hardly ever gets a chance to dress up and go out; I thought this would be nice for her. A little dinner, a little walk about the town and everything will be back to….
Just then, she emerges from the corridor, looking quite a sight. I'd seen Rose dressed up before, but this was quite…quite different. Her hair was wavy, flowing down to her shoulders. Her face was even more beautiful than usual, no harsh colored eye shadow or lipstick covering her natural beauty.
And the dress. My goodness the dress.
It was long and flowing down to her feet…black like the night…well, black like an earth's night that is…with the thinnest straps. And from what I could tell, it was quite backless as well. Every detail, even down to her shoes, fit her perfectly.
I gulped hard, hoping I wasn't staring too badly.
"Doctor, are you alright?" Her voice a bit panicky.
Well, so much for not being noticeable.
The TARDIS hums happily.
"What? Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm fine. You…uh…you look quite…nice." Nice? Nice? I make a mental note to slap myself later.
Obviously, this was not the answer she was looking for. Her face loses a bit of its glow.
"Oh, thank you Doctor." And with that she scurries out the TARDIS door.
And I notice that the dress is indeed very backless.
It takes me a moment to jumpstart my hearts as I race out after her into the dark blue night sky.
Rose
Well, at least he didn't say what he said the last time I wore a dress.
I know the Doctor is trying to lighten me up by giving me the opportunity to get dressed up. The TARDIS closet provides such wonderful clothing…such a shame not to use any of it.
We're walking down a quiet, lonely street after a quiet (very quiet) dinner at a beautiful restaurant. There were only a few others there, but the service was fantastic, to borrow the Doctor's term. The food was impossible to pronounce, but gorgeous all the same.
The sky is still quite visibly blue even though it's night time. The Doctor is walking next to me, though we're not close. How I'd like to close that distance.
I turn to look at him and catch him staring at me. He blushes, a slight pink hue underneath his pale skin. His smile is tender, but hardly enthusiastic. He looks as if something is troubling him.
"Doctor, what is the matter?"
He looks down at the ground, never breaking his step.
"Oh, nothing Rose, nothing. Just memories of the past, you know."
"Oh Doctor. You know how thinking of the War makes you feel. Come on, let's go walk near the ocean, it'll make you feel better."
I'm about to reach for his hand to guide him there, but decide against it. I choose instead to walk ahead of him, leading him there.
The Doctor
I take advantage of Rose's preoccupation with the rosy sea to think. Her presence usually causes me to forget things. I wonder why that is…
How funny that when I mention the past, she thinks I'm talking about Gallifrey. In all honesty, this may have been the first time that I wasn't thinking about home. No, I was thinking about my past companions, Reinette, and Rose. All these individuals have been so different. Each one has brought with them their charisma and strength. Each of them has helped me survive and succeed in our quests. Surely, as a Time Lord I shouldn't be expected to need such help…but boy, did they teach me a thing or two about that theory.
And as much as each of them has loved our travels on one level or another, not one of them has ever done what Rose has done. Her initial hesitation at joining me was not a hesitation of the actual TARDIS, Doctor or time itself…it was a hesitation of what was expected of her in her home. She was supposed to live with her mother until she got married, probably to Mickey the Idiot and work at the shop for the rest of her life. That is what caused the hesitation.
I smile at the memory.
Oh, but when she came aboard, oh how she loved it! Not a moment would go by without her smile, that glorious smile. I learned to memorize her looks. I'd know exactly when she was mad at me, when I said something stupid, when I made her laugh and when she was worried about me. I love all the Rose Tyler looks, but the one she'd give me when she was worried about me…that one always caused my hearts to do a bit of a flip floppity thing.
As much as all the companions cared for me, as I cared for them, they were used to the role of the companion – someone to assist me and who every once in awhile I'd have to save.
Okay, more than once in awhile, but I digress.
Rose never really expected me to save her all the time. I did of course, danger follows us wherever we go. But she did some saving of herself as well. As Bad Wolf…she saved me. She could have died, and she still saved me. No companion or even Reinette, if given the chance, has done or could do that.
And although I can see why Rose thought what she did about Reinette…I mean, she was quite beautiful, intelligent and sophisticated…I don't understand how she could think I would replace her.
Because as much as Reinette was all those wonderful things (and I'm sure much more), she could never be my Rose.
My Rose.
What an odd choice of words.
I look up from my thoughts to see her standing near the edge of the ocean, her shoes in her hand. She shivers and I rise up, taking off my coat in the process.
I spread it along her shoulders, slightly grazing her neck with my knuckles. She startles at my touch. The heat of her skin burns me.
"Don't want you catching a cold now." My voice, a bit shaky. She smiles sweetly up at me before looking back out again.
"It's gorgeous." She whispers, repeating her first words when we set foot on the island.
"Sure is." I whisper back, staring at her.
Rose
"Will we be leaving soon Doctor?"
We've just returned to the TARDIS. I hesitate to return his coat to him…it has his heady scent. Without him noticing, I take in one last breath before handing it over.
He looks at his coat in my outstretched hand and says, "Huh?"
I chuckle a bit. "Doctor, I asked you if we'll be leaving soon."
Realization hits him and he takes the coat from me. "Oh well. Yeah. I don't know. I'm a bit more, what's the word…" He proceeds to jump up and down while tugging his ear.
Laughing, I say, "Jumpy?"
He stands still, grinning ear to ear, "Exactly, Rose Tyler!"
"Well, what would you like to do then, Doctor?"
He rocks back and forth on his sneakers, still tugging at his ear.
"I don't know I don't know. I. Just. Don't. Know." I shake my head, grinning madly as I walk toward my room.
"Hey! Where are you going? To sleep? Really?" He sounds so frantic.
I look back at him and laugh, "Doctor! I'm only going to change. Whatever we're doing, I surely won't be comfortable in this dress. I'll be right back."
"Oh, alright. I'll be here!" he calls after me.
I smile silently to myself as I walk away.
The Doctor
Yes. The dress.
Oh shut up will you! And STOP looking at her like that!
I've resorted to yelling at myself. Wonderful.
What is happening to me?
The TARDIS hums beneath my touch on the console.
Oh shush you. That is not what is happening here.
I stay still for a moment.
No. No no. No.
Really? You think so?
She vibrates happily.
Really?
Her hum continues.
No.
Well, I have been staring at her a lot more recently. That seems to be something that happens. I recall that happening a long, long, long time ago. She just looked absolutely gorgeous in that dress tonight. But Rose always looks beautiful. And her skin….well… And I really do love her laugh. And the way her tongue sticks a bit out when she smiles or chuckles at me…
Oh my.
No no. no.
No.
It has been way too long, I can't remember…how it…feels to…
No. No no. No.
I'm having this argument with myself when I hear her voice.
"Doctor, you've been acting rather odd. Are you sure you're okay?"
I look up at her and my words get caught in my throat.
The dress did her no justice.
She was wearing black pajamas…new ones I think since I've never seen them before. The pants were long and flooded around her bare feet, but her top was form fitting and had thin straps. Does everything have thin straps nowadays? I remember when…oh, right, back to the point. The black shows off the soft glow of her skin. The dress was gorgeous, but…this Rose…this was Rose.
"You're doing it again Doctor." She states, worry in her tone.
Flippity flop.
"Doing what?" I manage to ask.
"Looking at me like that. Are you okay?"
I cough loudly, forcing myself to look away from her. "Uh, yes yes. Of course."
I busy myself moving some controls in a meaningless fashion.
"Were you up for doing something Doctor? You were all jumpy before."
Oh yeah.
"Uh. Yeah. Yes. Fancy…a cup of tea in the…the…library?" I ask lamely.
She stares at me, tilting her head a bit, confused.
"Sure Doctor. I'll go make the tea. Meet you in there."
I nod, grinning like a madman.
My grin disappears as she crosses over to the kitchen. Without looking at her as I pass, I walk briskly to the library, the TARDIS getting me there much quicker than usual.
Thanks.
She hums in response. She knows I need time to think.
Think think thinkity think.
I sit down in an armchair, sinking down until I'm almost horizontal.
Of course I love Rose. That has never been the question. I've cared for all my companions, and I have loved them all. But the question is do I loveRose. The couple of times that we've kissed…
Ah, the kisses. Neither time was she conscious enough to remember them. The first time as Bad Wolf it was to save her life. My Ninth self turned quite ballsy toward the end it seems. And the second time she was possessed by Cassandra. That can hardly be construed as a true kiss…even though…well yes.
Anyway, when the kisses happened…they were…simply indescribable. I enjoyed them…quite a bit actually, but the circumstances left something to be desired and so I didn't give them a second thought.
Well, I tried not to.
And then it seemed that I was losing her every time we stepped out of the TARDIS. If it wasn't to monsters, it was to pretty boys and Mickey the Idiot. I felt so odd when they were around, Mickey (the Idiot), Captain Jack…even Adam. It felt like the end each time. And though I would never have admitted it out loud, it hurt to see her look at someone else the way she looks at me.
But she didn't leave. I smile to myself.
That must have been how she felt when she saw me with Reinette. My smile fades as I ponder this new realization. The memories of Reinette flood my mind, but this time I wince at my actions. It occurs to me that Rose did indeed come back each and every time another man has come into the picture. She always gave me my place in her life, and it has always at the top, my place. Even before her family. And what did I do? I ran off with the pretty girl, not saying goodbye, not explaining, with the chance I could never come back.
Of course I would have tried to come back, but at the time…I don't think I wanted to.
I wince at the flood of guilt that fills me.
Rose
He looks like he's in pain.
I'm standing in the doorway to the library, a room we visit frequently. It's filled with all kinds of books in all kinds of languages. With the ones I don't understand, I usually just admire the printed words. They can be so exquisite. I've been watching him for a few moments now. He was smiling this huge smile and in an instant he turned so agonized. I want to ask what's wrong, but he hasn't been answering that question lately. I hope he hasn't changed his mind about not wanting me to leave. I really don't want to leave.
"Well, here you go Doctor, a nice cup of tea." I move over to hand him his cup.
He looks up from dejectedness and sits up straighter on the chair. "Thank you Rose." His look is so pained as he looks at me. How I wish I could swim around in his thoughts.
I turn to sit on the wider couch near the armchair, pulling my knees up to my chest. I notice that he's still looking at me with that expression. I want to hug him, comfort him. But that would be wrong. It didn't used to feel wrong…touching him. But now…it's all one-sided and it's been awhile that his touch has started to burn me in the best of ways. He touches me and I forget where I am and then I start to want…
So the touches are wrong. Because they complicate things. And because the Doctor wouldn't…
It's quite unrequited, I admit to myself.
I look up from my cup to see that he's still staring at me. He hasn't even taken a drink of his tea. He's just staring at me sadly.
Putting down my cup on the table near me, I ask, "Doctor, you really need to tell me what's wrong. You look like you're in pain. What can I do to help you?" Worry seeps through my words.
The words seem to bring him out of his melancholy. He sits his cup down on the table and looks up at me again. "You worry about me so much Rose," he says softly.
I stare at him, confused.
"Of course, how could I not worry about you?" it's the plain truth.
He smiles gently, "I worry about you too, you know."
I smile widely at him, "I know." He shows me this each time. Whether it's saving my life or offering me his coat.
Suddenly, he gets up from his seat and in a swift move he sits next to me on the couch. My heart stutters and speeds up. His proximity sends me reeling. I continue looking at him expectantly. He's always so quick and all over the place that I never know what to expect.
He places his arm on the back of the couch behind me. It does nothing to slow my heart.
I can feel my eyes wide, unwilling to even blink at him. He looks at me tenderly. "Rose, I'm sorry for what happened with Reinette."
Tilting my head I feel a sense of déjà vu. Didn't we already talk about this?
He continues, "Everything I said before is true. I never would have left without saying goodbye. But I only just really realized how badly I hurt you. And I'm sorry."
My heart stutters. "Doctor…I…I mean…thank you." I'm utterly speechless.
This feels so intimate. We've never been this close for this long unless we were in complete danger. It scares me and thrills me just the same.
Trying to lighten the mood, I pat his hand that's resting on his leg. "Now, now, no more of that depressing look, yeah? I can go get you a banana if it'll make you feel better." I giggle.
He chuckles in response.
I remove my hand, ignoring the ripples of energy radiating from our touch.
The Doctor
The absence of her touch has me feeling quite cold. I wonder if she felt that electricity when she placed her hand on mine. It shocked me to my core.
She's talking on and on about some old drama with an old friend from home. I'm half listening. My energy is placed elsewhere, looking at how animated she gets when she's telling a story. Her chuckles, eye-rolling and playful pats on my arm, I'm looking at it all. Nothing has changed in how she treats me; she's always been quite loveable. What's changed is how I'm looking at it. The beat of my hearts has also not escaped my analysis. They've been beating pretty hard. They pump harder each time she looks at me and touches me….which is often.
Then suddenly, I'm overwhelmed by this feeling…this need…to touch her. Really touch her. Before I can think twice of it, I raise my hand from my lap and push aside a platinum strand of hair that had found its way in front of her eyes. I tuck it behind her ear, leaving my hand to linger near her neck.
My eyes, having followed my hand, turn back to her and I realize she's stopped in mid-word. She's staring at me incredulously. And again, without thinking, without analyzing, without worrying…I move my hand to her cheek, caressing it…making gentle circles with my thumb against her soft skin. Somewhere in the back of my mind I want to laugh at her dumbstruck look, her mouth agape. At this moment, however, I can't bring myself to think of anything else besides kissing her. An actual kiss that she'll remember, that I can enjoy because it's not because I need to save her life, or because someone has forced her to…no, it'll be a kiss that is just meant to be.
I move closer to her, pulling her gently towards me. She doesn't resist and my mind soars with the realization that she isn't resisting. I close the distance between us and finally place my lips softly on hers.
The kiss starts off quite gentle and slow. Our lips are moving as one in a perfect union. My hand has rested on her neck. I can feel her tremble underneath my touch. She's running one of her hands through my hair, sending me to shiver as well. Her other hand is on my cheek, tenderly touching me. I can feel my hearts swell with her tenderness. Our kiss eventually grows a bit more intense and my hand moves from her neck down to her waist where I try not to grip too tightly.
But none of these physical feelings can compare to how it feels. It feels like the first day of spring and a crisp fall night all in one. Like the world has stopped. It feels like I had never been kissed before.
I feel more complete than I have in a very long time.
Rose
His touch sends chills down my spine. We're so close to each other, but I want to be closer still. I can't believe this is happening.
Beneath me, I can feel the TARDIS rumbling happily.
I can feel his hand at my waist, gripping me. I respond by holding him even closer to me. Our lips haven't stopped moving and I detach myself from him slightly to take a breath and to whisper the words I've wanted to say for so long.
"I love you."
I'm holding him close, afraid of his rebuff from my words. I look into his eyes, stroking the side of his face lovingly. His eyes have grown wide, but he hasn't moved away from me. He moves his hand to touch my face ever so lightly. Tenderly, he traces his thumb along my bottom lip. His amazement melts into a smile.
"I love you too," he says.
I grin madly, "Quite right."
Giggling, I reach for his smiling lips to meet them with my own.
The Doctor
Fantastic.
This is my first time posting anything on here and this was my first ever Doctor Who fanfiction. Review if want :)
