Without You!
I stared at the note Fang left, for like the billionth time this week. I was empty, a shell of my former self and needed to let out all my pent up feelings. I was angry, confused, hurt, betrayed, broken etc. Funny how I'd never thought the one person I absolutely trusted the most would have me feeling like this. I mean he's made me felt some of these emotions before but not all at the same time, and not so extreme. I frowned. I wanted to start crying again just by thinking about him. Gah! I wanted to punch someone/thing. I sighed and fell back on my bed. No one was home right now. Jeb and my Mom decided to take the flock out and give me some breathing room as she put it.
Did you know she asked me if I wanted to see a therapist? Something about its better to let things out them keep them all in. Yea, like talking to some bald old guy that smells like fish who has more issues than me is going to help. –Sigh- Yea, I got some major issues but I don't think bawling my eye out to a complete stranger is going to help me or anything. I still have some dignity left and I rather try and keep what's left of it, even if it means bawling my eyes out in my room alone. I know my mom is just trying to help, but like I said I need to at least try to regain my pride and dignity, though most of that when down the drain when my back-stabbing, no good, dirty, rotten, Mother Clucking, asswipe of an ex-boyfriend/best friend decided to leave! Yea I went there. Grrr. Just thinking about him makes me mad. And sad. And annoyed. And… well you get the picture.
I lifted myself up from my bed and made my way downstairs almost bumping into the piano that sat there. There were also guitars, a bass, a keyboard and a drum set that were all in a corner Jeb cleared out for us. Yes people, the almighty flock where in a band. Or was in a band. The idea kind of blew out of our minds as soon as out lead vocalist/ guitarist decided to bail out on us. And the fact that I didn't feel like teaching Mr. I-can-do –it-all (aka Dylan) how to play guitar, but the boy is very persistent. Besides we all knew he could sing almost as good as…. See I can't even think his name anymore. I played guitar for the band, and Nudge wanted me to be female lead singer for the bad but He said, and I quote "Max, I love you, but please don't sing." He claims he was doing me a favor but you know what? Screw him. I sat down at the piano and played a few keys.
Oh yea, did I mention Mr. Perfect also knows how to play piano. I swear, what that boy can't do besides leave me alone! If it wasn't for Dylan, He would still be here… maybe. I could feel lyrics form in my brain. I opened my mouth to start singing. "I thought you'd always be there for me, but I guess I was wrong." I winced when I heard my singing voice. 'Ok, maybe he was right' I thought to myself. I played a few more keys before getting an idea. I got up and headed for the stool that stood my Iggy's bass. On it was a pen and a notebook. I picked the contents of the stool up sat down and started writing. After awhile I was finished and headed back toward the piano. I started singing, I didn't care if I had a horrible singing voice, no one was around and I was going to let my heart out.
"Verse 1:
I thought you'd always be here for me but I guess I was wrong,
You were my rock my best friend, and promised never to leave me alone,
But I guess I was wrong cause,
Chorus:
You left me here to fend for myself, and to be all alone
I thought you were the one I trusted but I guess I was wrong (Guess I was wrong)
I trusted you with my heart but it went with you when you left.
But now I'm here all alone. Without you.
Verse 2:
You told me you wanted to protect me.
But after you left all my defenses went down
You expected me to move on after all we've been through, but I guess you were wrong
Chorus:
You left me here to fend for myself, and to be all alone
I thought you were the one I trusted but I guess I was wrong (Guess I was wrong)
I trusted you with my heart but it went with you when you left.
But now I'm here all alone. Without you
Bridge:
How could you leave me here with just some memories and a note?
You told me you loved me but it's just all lies now
Chorus:
You left me here to fend for myself, and to be all alone
I thought you were the one I trusted but I guess I was wrong (Guess I was wrong)
I trusted you with my heart but it went with you when you left.
But now I'm here all alone
And now I'm here all alone…
WITHOUT YOU!"
I then moved over back to the stool and started making lyric sheets for the rest of the flock. When they finally got home that's where they found me. They looked at me quizzically.
"What's going on?" Gazzy asked
"Hey guys" I said "Pick up your instruments; I have a new song for you." They all did what they were told and took their places. Nudge on drums, Iggy on bass, Gazzy, me, and Dylan on guitar, and Angel on keyboard. I passed each of them a sheet with their instruments notes on them and we started playing. Who said you can't let out your feelings through music.
