A/N: Wow, my first Hetalia fic! I hope I did a good job, I made a friend read through it for me and she said it was good, sooo... :P I got the idea of this fic from LonleyHearts2008's 'I'm Sorry'. She is an AMAZING writer. Just- Just go read her stuff. Like, NOW. O_O I'm serious.
Warning: Blood, Mafia!Romano, death, swearing, LOTS. OF. DIFFERENT. LANGUAGE. PHRASES, and moments that could be interrupted as yaoi.
I don't own Hetalia or ANY of the characters or the songs below, I just own this oneshot. :3
Songs:
Yin no Piano – Yoko Kanno
Little Italy - Les Gueules d'Aminche (A French song about Italy? O.o)
Hero – Regina Spektor
The Ghost Of You – My Chemical Romance
Dear You – Higurashi
Mafia!Romano P.O.V
Here lies Feliciano Vargas.
A loving man, caring brother and kind ally. May he rest in peace for eternity.
RIP
1990-2012
So, there I was. Glaring at my fratello's gravestone. It felt surreal, that Feliciano went before I did. He was gone for good. The loving smiles and big heart of pure, solid gold? Yeah. That wasn't there anymore.
I was crying, I knew I was. I couldn't save my own little brother from what was coming to him. His death was the least expected. What really got to me though was that my one of my own henchman did it behind my back. I still don't know which one it was, but I know that I will kill them, without a doubt. Feli was shot right in the middle of his throat, a huge hole forming where the bullet had crashed into him. Where was I when he died? With that stupid Spaniard, Antonio. We both went out drinking, just for the sake of it. I had a pretty good day, none of my boys had gotten into trouble. I trusted them to guard the our hideout when I left. Of course I didn't tell them where I was going, why should I?
I got the news almost instantly, a phone call from the potato bastard Ludwig. Even he was panicking and crying out, he sounded as if he was in pain too, both emotionally and physically. He didn't know where they were, Feli was choking helplessly, lying and doing nothing but dying. No matter what Ludwig did, he couldn't keep him alive even if he tried. Which he did, causing only more emotional turmoil for himself rather than anyone. I yelled questions down the phone, standing from my tall bar seat, demanding immediate answers. Antonio simply sat there, doing fuck all, staring at me with worry.
"A tall thin man just ran up to him... He pulled the gun to his throat and pinned him to a wall, and... I-I'm so sorry, Lovino..." The German idiot burst into tears, which is extremely uncharacteristic for him. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My tense shoulders eased, I stood up straight, my eyes widened in shock. 'This.. This can't happen... Not to my fratello...' I thought.
"Feli...? Nein... Nein! FELICIANO! DON'T YOU EVEN DARE! YOU HEAR ME? STOP I-!" The line clicked off before I could hear the rest of what Ludwig was saying. But I still kept the phone to my ear. Everything around me had stopped in my mind, I couldn't feel my arms or my legs or anything for that matter. There was no sound, just my own heartbeat and muffled bustles behind me. I was all alone, Antonio wasn't there, the bartender wasn't asking politely if I was alright... I was completely numb and cut off from the rest of the world.
I stood like that, for minutes, possibly hours. I had no idea and that wasn't the biggest priority to me at the moment, until Antonio shook me by the shoulder lightly. "Mi amigo, what's going on?" He asked me, the concern being beyond obvious. It took me a while to respond, brushing his arm off of my shoulder.
"Feliciano... I think he's..." I muttered. To say that dreaded word, I looked up into his emerald eyes. "Dead." Antonio stood up, wrapping his arms around me. With me being a Mafia boss, he was pretty much the only person who could do that to me, he was the only person close enough to, besides Nonno and Fratello. Although I didn't hug him back.
"Lo siento, Lovino." He apologized. The stupid bastard apologized.
"It's not your fault." I choked out, holding back my tears with a broken sigh.
"I know. I just thought that you needed it, that's all. ¿Estarás bien?" His grip tightened a little, but in a comforting way.
"Maybe. I seriously doubt it though. I don't think I ever will be alright again, Toni."
There was only one select group of people who would knowingly murder Feliciano Vargas, and that would just happen to be my Mafia. So when I got the news, I was mortified, enraged and disappointed in every single one of them. They disgraced me, so they were punished.
I threatened to kill all of them if they didn't tell me who murdered Feli. They all just looked at each other awkwardly, shrugging their shoulders as if it were nothing. They reacted in the easy-going way, until I raised my pistol in their direction. I shot three people in the arm. None of them spoke. So I shot another three in the leg. All that they did was glance over at the yelling and wounded henchmen, doing absolutely nothing. At the beginning, they thought I was bluffing and I could tell. The bullets that landed into the skin of those six people were embedded deep, I could see the blood pouring out, with black gloved hands trying to hold the blood back, yelling and cursing in Italian.
"You don't fucking get it, do you? Feliciano was my fratellino, and YOU SHITBAGS KILLED HIM!" I shot another one in the shoulder, only it was also a henchman I had shot in the leg. "Giuro, if I see ANY of you in this part of town ever again, I will fucking kill you. Capito?" They all nodded, running out of the door like the bunch of cowards they were. And again, I was all alone, searching for revenge.
A few weeks afterwards was the funeral. I don't know exactly what happened to me... I hadn't stopped crying since the incident with the murderers. But I wasn't sobbing dramatically or making a scene, I just cried silently. Sometimes, I did it subconsciously. I would feel something wet and cold run down my cheeks, and wipe it off as it got to my chin. Being all on my own and isolated didn't feel... Well- It didn't feel like anything. I was completely numb and emotionless. Basically, this must've been my form of grief. To be silent, still too.
I wondered how my fratellino was doing in heaven. There's no way that Feli, of all people, would be sent to Hell. Him being the kind-hearted angel he was... All I needed was to see his smile again, just to visualise it in the back of my mind. However, there was no possible way of getting it back. The worst thing of all? My last words to him were, "Go run to your potato bastard, I have no use for you." Feli didn't even seem bothered by the comment, all he did was attempt to hug me and tell me how much he loved me...
Crap... Those tears were getting in my eyes again. Did he know that I loved him? Or was he pretending for my sake?
I'll tell you this, though. When the funeral had begun, I saw all the countries outside the church. Not all were able to fit in, there was a huge line from the front door all the way out into the road. Every nation had the same expression of despair, grief. Did fratello really have that many friends?
The first faces I saw were the likes of that American, the Frenchman and the English idiot. The American just looked plain angry, almost as if he was angry at Feliciano or... himself. Frenchie appeared to be fiddling with something in his hands nervously, his eyes watering as if he was about to burst into a frenzy of sobs. The Brit was staring at the American, his eyes also watering, but looking as if he made more of an effort to hide it. His worry and concern was focused on the yank, his hand on the angrier country's shoulder.
I could name every single person there. They were all either crying or shouting, or plain acting upset and grief-stricken. I was almost afraid to go inside, with the amount of people. And even so, if I went inside, that would mean it would be over for me and Feli... we wouldn't be together anymore. I took a few steps back, instantly bumping into Antonio without looking behind me.
I was greeted by his green eyes again, but they were filled with sadness. He gave a weak smile, in a lousy attempt to cheer me up. "Hey, Lovino."
I stepped back again, facing him and straightened my tie, clearing my throat. "I didn't know Feliciano had so many friends."
Antonio looked over at the crowd, still smiling sofly. "Si, a lot of people care about your brother, amigo." I watched in his direction, examining the bustle of people. I gasped.
"Bella? What is she doing here?" I croaked. It's been so long since I've seen Belgium. Her golden hair was tied back into a high ponytail, a black ribbon holding it back. She was in a black knee-length dress, with laced quarter length sleeves and a scarf and elegantly wrapped around her neck. Her stunning green eyes were slightly more dull today, without her beautiful smile, it was hard to recognize her.
"She was one of the many many nations that loved both your hermano and you. Bella didn't just come here for Feli, you know."
I scoffed, beginning to feel more tears roll down my cheeks. I rubbed them away from my face with an arm irritability. "Bastardo, of course she came for Feliciano. That's the whole reason she's here. It's a fucking funeral, idiot."
Antonio just stared at me with a blank expression as everyone entered the church. Huge knots tied in my stomach, watching everyone shuffle their feet awkwardly through the crowd. "Lovino... You really should go see him. It gives you the chance to say your final goodbyes."
"But what if I don't want to say goodbye?" I snapped back. "If... If I don't go in there, that means Feli is still with me. I'll be able to survive. But if I do go in... It's just proof that he's gone forever. And... I won't be able to live without him." I mumbled, my eyes and cheeks covered in tears that couldn't be contained. "I won't have anyone. Nonno died along time ago... Padre left us and as for madre... She died too. Back when we were kids. It's just been us for quite some time. I can't be alone. Not yet. I'm not ready!"
Antonio spoke with a strong tone. "You're not alone. You have all these people here who will support you, get you through this. Feli's death was something that couldn't be prevented, fate had decided what to do and when to do it. There's no point crying over it now, let's just remember Feliciano for the magnificent person he was." He pulled me in for a hug. "Amigo, I have no idea how you must be feeling... Losing someone you love. But I don't want to lose you. So stay strong, got it?"
His words took me by surprise. But they still made me feel better. I wrapped my arms around him, hugging back. "Si. Grazie."
"No problem. So... Do you still want to see him?"
I pulled away, to look Antonio in the eye. I was a little iffy about seeing Feli... But I wanted to do it. A single nod was all it took for the Spaniard to get permission to take me inside. I began walking to the door, with Antonio taking slow steps behind me.
Once we were inside, I immediately saw a grand, crimson coffin, the door open to expose Feli's limp and lifeless body. Everybody was either in a line in front of it, or set off to the side of it in small groups, either weeping or comforting those who were in deep sorrow. All faces were in my direction, and hung their heads. Not a single person was talking, all those who cried stopped. I don't know whether they were too scared or just trying to respect me. Which only made me feel more awkward. They should've been paying respects to fratello.
The weird thing is, they all parted into two lines, making a huge space in the middle, preferably for me to walk down. Antonio joined the end of the right-hand line, giving me a comforting smile. After it finally clicked, I walked down taking my time. 'This is it...' I thought to myself. I was wondering if Feli was listening, from wherever he was. I finally came across the coffin, and felt a huge lump in my throat form.
Feliciano looked so peaceful. His skin was pale, almost white. His expression was completely calm, only with a subtle content upwards turning on the corners of his lips. The bastards who ran this funeral did a good job with his clothing- He was dressed in a silk, jet-black suit which looked sharp and pleasing to the eye. Fratellino seemed so fragile and delicate... Almost like a doll. The hole in his neck had almost healed, although there was the tiniest piercing in his skin, becoming a dreadful reminder.
"Ahh, Feli..." I sighed, smiling and chuckling for the first time in months. Tears were streaming down my face. I knew I looked like a mess, but I didn't care. "This is my fault... Yet, everyone else tells me otherwise." I moved my trembling hand onto his cold one, which was kept close to his chest. "You have no idea how sorry I am, fratello. And how much I love you. If anyone deserves to go, its me."
I leaned down, kissing him on the cheek, scanning my baby brother with my eyes for the very last time. "Ti amo, fratellino."
A/N: -...THAT WAS SO DEPRESSING. =_= Germany cries? Romano loves his brother? England is worried about America? AND ITALY DIES? IT'S ARMEGADON! DX I hope you enjoyed it though... If you could in any way... XD
TRANSLATION TIME!
Fratello (Italian) – Brother
Fratellino (Italian) – Little brother
Ti amo (Italian) – I love you
Giuro (Italian) – I swear
Capito? (Italian) – Got it?
Nonno (Italian) – Grandfather
Madre (Italian) – Mother
Padre (Italian) – Father
Si (Italian/Spanish) – Yes
Grazie (Italian) – Thank you
Bastardo (Italian) – (Really? You need a translation for this one? XDD) Bastard
Mi amigo (Spanish) – My friend
Lo siento (Spanish) – Sorry
¿Estarás bien? (Spanish) – Will you be alright?
Hermano (Spanish) – Brother
Nein (German) – No (Luddy's favourite word, yes? :3)
So. Many. Translations. O_O PLEASE REVIEW! YOU SHALL RECIEVE A PASTA FLAVOURED COOKIE IF YOU DO! XD
