Her daddy gave her, her first pony
Then taught her to ride
She climbed high in that saddle
Fell I don't know how many times
Taught her a lesson that she learned
Maybe a little too well

Ever since she was a young girl her father had drilled into her that it was weak to cry and you don't want to come across as weak. That it wasn't ok to cry, to show emotion was unacceptable. She deep down knew he was wrong even when she was little, kids cried at school all the time, but she still built walls around herself. Anything to make her father proud was what her mother would say or her mother would tell her that at least he didn't hit her.

BANG, BANG, Beckett shot the target in front of her.


Cowgirls don't cry
Ride, baby, ride
lessons in life are going to show you in time
soon enough your gonna know why
it's gonna hurt every now and then
if you fall get back on again
Cowgirls don't cry

It all started when she was four. Her father had taken her to the local park, seemingly innocencet. The older kids were climbing a tree. Kate didn't want to go but her father forced her to. She had started to get up to where the older kids were sitting. The next branch was a little bit too high but her father had told her time and time again to follow his instructions or he would be disappointed in her. Kate reached forward to get the branch but missed falling out of the tree. The fall split part of skull open and gave her many cuts as well as a concussion. Her father sat with her in the ambulance but when she woke he told her not to cry and everything will be ok. Broken bones and serious injuries later she still didn't cry, still showed no pain.



She grew up
She got married
Never was quite right
She wanted a house, a home and babies
He started coming home late at night
She didn't let him see it break her heart
She didn't let him see her fall apart

When her mum was murdered the only thing he told her was; "if anyone asks how you are, just say your fine. Nobody wants to feel like they have to feel sorry for you." He spoke to her as if she was the in the wrong, not like she was his 9 year old who just lost her mum. But even now Beckett still did that whenever someone asked, her immediate response was; 'I'm fine' even if it was nowhere near the truth. Beckett shot the target again, getting a perfect 10.


'cause Cowgirls don't cry
Ride, baby, ride
lessons in life are gonna' show you in time
soon enough your gonna know why
it's gonna hurt every now and then
if you fall get back on again
Cowgirls don't cry

Her father had told her one day he was going to teach her a lesson. Having no choice but to abide, an 11 year old Kate followed her father to the car. Half an hour later they had turned up at the local rifle range. "one of the greatest skills in life is to be a perfect shot." He told her, "Everyone who is allowed a gun should be a perfect shot." Every day for 10 months her father had forced her to go to the rifle range to practice, making sure her shot was well past perfect, which it was. At first her arms hurt, but she pretended they didn't. The blisters that formed on her hands quickly turned into callous. But she had became a perfect shot never missing, which kept her father happy.

Phone rang early one morning
Her momma's voice, she'd been crying
Said it's your daddy, you need to come home
This is it, I think he's dying
She laid the phone down by his head
The last words that he said

Beckett jumped when felt a hand on her back, turning slightly she saw it was just Castle. Saying nothing she raised her gun and took two shots at the target next to hers, still getting a perfect ten. Just before her father had walked out on her he told her one last time to never miss a shot and to never cry. Putting another bullet into the target Beckett realised Castle was still standing next to her with his hand gently rubbing her back in a soothing motion. She let herself lean into him a bit but she still had control. Putting her gun down she turned enough to quickly kiss him. Within seconds the innocent kiss had turned into something much more, Beckett had trapped him against the wall and was trying to stay in control. As quickly as it started Beckett pulled back. Taking off her earmuffs she had been wearing, she tried not to make eye contact with Castle. A she turned to leave Castle grabbed her arm, "it's ok to cry sometimes." He said watching her eyes for a reaction but they bore none.

Cowgirl don't cry
Ride, baby, ride
Lessons in life show us all in time
Too soon God lets you know why
If you fall get right back on
Good Lord calls everybody home
Cowgirl don't cry

But a million were running through her head. Remembering the day a few days after her mum had died, she had been sitting on her bed crying while her father was at work. She hadn't heard his car pull in the driveway, so she jumped when her door opened. Her father walked over to her with a disappointed look on his face. He slapped her across the face and told her to shut up before slamming her door behind him as he walked away. From that day onwards she had built up walls around her walls and whenever something happened she wore a smile, but all the time mending the walls and creating stronger ones. Beckett smiled sweetly at him before walking away.