A/N: Happy Valentines week everyone! This is based on the characters I created for Eulogy (which is still unfinished but almost done). Same Kaidan. Not sure if I'll integrate this to its sequel. I think it will all depend on how ME3 plays out. I love the demo, and I can't wait for the actual game.
Anyway, enjoy.
All Out of Love
She has changed. I know she has. The woman I loved would never have joined Cerberus or blow up a whole system. No, that is not her.
Yet it feels like her: the same graceful diplomatic air, the same stubbornness, the same presence that makes everyone follow her. And she takes care of everyone: me, Vega, Joker, Liara, Garrus, Tali and the crew. Just like what she did before and always into details: from mission tactics to food sources. She even had a lounge with speakers installed just so everyone could blow off steam a little bit.
She's the same driven and workaholic leader, but she is starting to spend a lot of time now in her loft. Liara often comes there. I guess they must have, well, when I was gone. Can't blame her. I was a jerk at Horizon.
Vega seemed to have picked things up from Joker.
"So, you and the Commander have a history?" he asked one day.
I looked at him. Stunned. Why does everybody have to know?
"Joker told me," he said.
"We broke up." I replied. "Well, unofficially. That's what death does to a relationship."
"Yeah, I can imagine. But she's alive now. Surely you can pick up where you left off. Wherever that is."
"That's not her. The woman I fell in love with would never have joined Cerberus."
He crossed his arms looked at me suspiciously. "If that's not her, then why do you throw those longing glances at her whenever she's not looking?"
"I do not throw longing glances."
"Yeah, yeah."
Suddenly, she came in. With datapad in hand, she sat on the seat across Vega and me. I paid attention to my datapad, but I would have to admit to taking peeks at her. No, I didn't think she noticed.
Vega must have felt a little uncomfortable with both of us there. "Commander, uh, nice couch."
She nodded, and then resumed reading. I caught her staring at something on my shirt before quickly darting her eyes back to her datapad.
"What?" I asked her.
Without keeping her eyes off her datapad. "So I see you still don't iron your shirts."
"And you're still as nosy and OC as ever."
That got her attention enough to put down her datapad. "It's in the job specification. Look it up."
"The help-wanted ads for wartime CO's who can't mind their own business?"
"More like bad-ass-commander-who-needs-to-watch-everyone's-asses."
Yup, that's her. I couldn't help but smile. "That's what a lot of people usually like about you."
Okay, I slipped up. Again.
Her cheeks must have reddened when I said that.
"So you and Liara?"
"No."
"But after I left, I assumed….and all those trips up the loft, surely—"
"No. We're still friends. I'll always be grateful to her for saving me, but that is it. She knows that. As for all those loft trips, the loft is the most secure place to exchange all Shadowbroker information. So, no."
Right.
James coughed, and started making subtle "I am here" gestures. Apart from the hum of the ship's cooling unit, there was silence. Garrus entered the room singing,
I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long…
Oh God, shut up!
I'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so—
"SHUT UP!" both she and I shouted simultaneously.
She glared at Garrus, and then furiously walked out. Great.
Garrus shrugged. "What?"
He just had to rub it in.
"It's from a music pod someone left on the speakers last night," he said. "That pod has too many I-am-so-sorry-I-hurt-you-and-broke-up-with-you love songs."
Both he and James accusingly stared at me.
No, I will never tell them about the guy who owns that music pod. No. Definitely not.
