What If
He's sitting in her bedroom. He's wondering when she's going to walk through her bedroom door. Until then he sits contently, looking out the window. He's going to tell her how he feels tonight. He's not exactly sure why. But all he knows is that watching her with him breaks his heart a little bit more each day. He knows he is the right choice for her. She just needs to see it. He's not even sure why he fell in love with her. Is it because she has an uncanny resemblance to Katherine? Is it because he wants to fulfill some fantasy of his by pretending Elena is Katherine? "No," he thinks, "it's not that. Not by a long shot." This internal battle he's having with himself is really starting to irritate him. He hates that this girl, this one super insignificant girl, has him acting the polar opposite of himself. It isn't fair though that he always has to be the bad one. So what if Stefan is the good one. Why is it always so cliché that when there is a love triangle one is bad and one is good? And you know the girl always ends up with the good one. You know, most girls want adventure, not the same stuff over and over again. Boring! "I sound like one of those teen girls now. Dang! Why does she make me feel so tongue tied?! Like I can't get what I want to say in order, or how I'm feeling for that matter. "
With all of those thoughts running through his head he barely noticed that Elena had walked through the door. He was going to say something witty when she walked through, but he was too stunned to do so. He forgot the real reason why he was there. He looked down again and then he suddenly remembered. He stood up and Elena noticed her necklace. "Oh, that's where that went. I was wondering if I'd see that again." She noticed something was off about Damon, but she decided to ignore it. It couldn't be that bad. Could it? He mumbled something that Elena couldn't hear. "What was that?" "Um, nothing. Oh you know what to heck with it. Elena I need to say something." "Can I have my necklace back….?" "Just hold on a minute, you need to hear this. Considering that this is probably the most selfish thing I've ever said." "I don't think we need to go down this road." "I need to get this off my chest. It's the only time I'll actually say it." "Damon…." "Elena I love you. I do. And I know it's selfish to say that considering you're with my brother and all, but you need to know. And the thing is, I don't think I can actually let you remember this conversation. So you need to forget." And with that he flew out the house, refusing to let her see him cry.
Elena was left there confused and disoriented. All she knows is that she came out of the bathroom, Damon was here, and now she's just standing there. She had a nagging feeling that whatever she thought was wrong with Damon earlier was a lot worse and she thought. Something in her gut was telling her to go to the boarding house. She wanted to oh so very bad, but she thought better of it. She crawled into bed, turned her lamp off and tried to fall asleep. It didn't work. Her brain was on high alert with all things Salvatore. She couldn't shake what happened tonight. The feeling like she was forgetting something, it almost seemed like she was compelled. But it was for she didn't know. Eventually she fell into a very restless sleep.
She woke up the next morning so tired. She really needed to let go of all the drama. She was a senior for crying out loud. Happiest time of her life and all that, but no, she was stuck with hybrids, vampires, vampire hunters, originals trying to kill her, and witches, can't forget the witches. She starts getting ready for the day, and is hoping for a normal day, but she knows that isn't happening. So with the feeling of complete dread she starts heading out. She isn't too sure where she's going, she just starts walking. Eventually she ends up at Mystic Grill. She notices Damon is sitting at the bar as usual. Suddenly she gets this feeling like she needs to ask him about last night. She approaches him and it isn't even 1 o' clock and he's already drunk. What ever happened last night must have really messed him up she thinks. She sits down awkwardly, not sure of how to start this conversation. All of a sudden she hears him speak. "I'm not human. I'm not human and I miss it. I miss it more than anything in the world." She's a little taken aback, and isn't sure what to say. If she doesn't ask him now what happened last night she isn't going have the courage to ask him later. She takes a deep breath and approaches the subject. "What happened last night?" "What do you mean 'what happened last night?' A lot of things happened last night. You might want to be more specific." "I walked out of my bathroom, you were there, and then it kind of goes blank. It feels like I'm missing a whole conversation. And I know for a fact you didn't just come over to watch me come out of the bathroom." "I returned your necklace. That's all that happened." He's starting to get nervous. He knows if she keeps asking him these questions that she is either going to figure it out or he's just going to come clean, and he can't have that, not at all. "No it isn't. I know it isn't. We talked about something last night. I know we did." "No we didn't Elena. I don't know what you think happened, but all I did was returned your necklace." "So all you did was return my necklace. We didn't talk? Because I have this suspicion that I was compelled. Am I wrong?" His eyes didn't meet hers for a second and she knew she was right. She had busted him. "Ok, fine. You were right. We did talk, and I did compel you to forget. It wasn't my finest moment." "What did you say?" "Nothing of importance." "What is it some big secret?" "No, it's just not worth repeating." "I think I have a right to choose what is and is not important." "Fine, you want to know what I said. I said that I loved you. Happy?" "Why would you say that?" "Cause I meant it, but honestly, I don't know if I can keep doing this first with Katherine and now you. This is just too much for me to handle. Have a nice life Elena." And with that he was gone. He left her at the bar of the Mystic Grill with that revelation. Now all she had was what ifs and what could have beens.
A/N:I'm tired of Elena always stomping on Damon's heart. So i decided to do this. Because while I know he would never do this, I think Elena needs a heartbreak from him regarding love.
