(don't own -man)

Sorry I forgot to write a warning to those who like to know.

Warning: contains slightly vivid scenes starting after you read this. Read at your own risk/leisure. ^^

Chapter One: Allen of the circus

Laying on his master's bed, Allen gazed at the ceiling preparing. He was preparing his mind trying to numb it to all that was about to happen. Allen heard the familiar sound of unzipping pants and a belt buckle clinking as it fell to the hardwood floor, as if it was taunting him. Seconds later, Allen felt the bed sink with the added weight between his legs. He then felt the tip of warm flesh skimming his backside. Suddenly Cross pushed in with all his force shoving his prick into Allen. Fully sheathed, Allen felt him violate him for what felt like the millionth time since he had begun living here. A low moan emitted from Cross as Allen cringed in discomfort underneath him. Allen felt like a raw piece of meat. Cross' own private piece of meat to use and abuse to his hearts content. Even when Allen was forced to bed another it was by Cross' orders.

A tear slid down Allen' face onto the bed sheets. He couldn't help but moan during Cross' thrust... He, Allen Walker, knew it was disgusting and wrong but his body, after years of abuse, was betraying him. On the inside, it hurt not only physically but emotionally too.

Panting, he calmed himself and closed his eyes. He thought of a better life: with sunshine and soft melodies, a mother and a father that loved him. Allen imagined all of them playing outside at a park or racing after an ice cream truck. He imagined graduating, maybe even top of his class and hearing his friends and family calling his name like a cheer. Happy memories he'd never have and probably wouldn't ever experience.


After awhile, Allen forced himself up and limped around the now quiet room, searching for his kimono. Finding it lying beside his master' liquor cabinet he dressed himself cautiously, after all, he was very sore and raw now. He didn't bother covering any of his own scars; it was his master' marks he needed to worry about. Those were the ones that would be questioned if found.

When Allen finished dressing, he was sent out to complete his daily tasks and wait for his master to tell him whom he would be with for the coming night. His customers, as Cross called them, were those who bought him for a little after-show entertainment.

He didn't know what time it was but the more he thought about it the less he cared for his future. I have no way of escaping this vicious cycle. Things won't ever change, Allen thought glumly. I'm fifteen years old now. I have a long ways to go before I get a chance at freedom, that is, if I ever do.

But.. I don't know if I can survive much longer.


Allen finally able to walk normally, through his will power alone, turned to go around a corner. Looking to make sure none of the other troupe members were around he continued walking. "Well, well, well. Look who is out and about today." the red head and resident fire-breather, Lavi said. "Come to greet us with your royal visage, I presume."

Taking up an air of arrogance and authority, Allen walked passed Lavi, angering him. "Oh, so I'm not worth your time, nor is anyone else; As usual, you skipped out on the going away ceremony, for Fou this time." Lavi scoffed at him, " Though it's not mandatory, you could act like a human every once and a while."

Allen glanced back, "Who?" Making it sound like he cared less about it than he cared about the wind at night or the stars in the sky. Truthfully, Allen enjoyed gazing at the stars, especially on clear, cloudless nights.

At this, Lavi shouted, "Bak' assistant, of course. He's the guy who does our magic show... Oh, wait. You would probably remember her as the girl who punched you for taunting Miss Miranda." Now snickering at the memory of Allen getting socked in his pretty little face, Lavi left him alone.

Allen remembered it well because his cheek was swollen like a water balloon for a week. Master Cross had been furious, not many of Allen' customers liked 'the entertainment' when he could not offer his oral services.


Making it to the trapeze training area, Allen saw that only Narien and Lenalee were there today. Continuing on his way, he ignored them and hoped they'd do the same. Unfortunately, today, Allen didn't seem to have any luck with Lavi already having taunted and harassing him this morning. "Hey, prince, won't you even say 'Hi' to your friends and troupe mates," This was said with a chuckle, by the assistant doctor, Narien. Narien was still pretty young at only sixteen, but next to Komui, he was the greatest doctor around. He was also one of the few people who knew that Allen was not what he made himself out to be, as the heartless and spoiled star of Cross' Marionette. Being Cross' favorite troupe member in all its glory.

No, Narien knew Cross' true colors because he had been helping taking care of him since he became a member. He knew that Allen put up with the abuse, the sex, and taunts of other troupe members. That Allen could have bought his own freedom from Cross years ago, but instead he chose to help set the less stable members of the circus free so they would not go mad. Heck, Narien even knew that Cross had bought Allen from a brothel, after he had taken a fondness for the sex slave.

What Narien didn't know was that Cross was the one who had bought Allen's virginity at his debut or that he was waiting for some one. Some one special who he had made a promise with.

Shaking his head of the abusive thoughts of this morning, Allen promptly glared at Narien. "Come on, prince. Don't be like that." Narien's words held no pity, scorn, or hate toward Allen. And his nickname for Allen was said with a fondness people would see in brothers. Yes, Narien thought of Allen more like a little brother, though, only being a year older than him didn't seem to discourage it either.

Allen sighed, listening to Narien but never stopping because he didn't want Narien to be on the outs with the other troupe members. If some one took a liking to Allen they were treated like an outsider by the others. And if Allen ever showed that he cared they would punish them both. So to keep everyone safe Allen had decided that he would not be friendly to anyone.

Walking away from the trapeze area, Narien didn't follow Allen knowing why he had not stopped. But Allen still heard the comment, "Oh, well. There's you the snobbiest jerk around. Why do you keep trying to talk to him,eh, Narien? He's not worth it."

"Not everything is as black and white as you think, Lenalee. Especially when it concerns our dear prince..." Whatever else Narien might have said was cut off because Allen was now to far away to hear it.


Allen decided it was time for him to change out of his kimono. Heading back toward his master's room he walked with his eyes downcast. Passing several more tents that held the galley, the clown tent, and the tamer's tent he came back to the corner where he had met Lavi earlier. During his walk murmurs and whispers could be heard from all sides as they called Allen names like: Natural-born freak, demon, monster, devil spawn, and more.

Opening the tent door as quietly as he could so as not to wake Cross if he was still here. But to Allen' relief Cross was gone already.

Then, going back to the bed he knelt down and pulled a box out from under it. This box held all that Allen cherished. Next to it still under the bed was a small pile of clothes that he owned. Things like the kimono that he wore for night entertainment were bought and owned by Cross, much like himself. Pushing the box back underneath along with its memories, he then pulled from the pile a white shirt, black pants, and a red ribbon. Next to the pile were his only shoes, some knee high boots that were given to him by a customer a couple years back. Getting back onto his feet he started to change into his other clothes.

Loosening the obi or belt of the kimono, which consisted of a golden string, that held the bigger belt, which was more of a clothe around his waist that was dyed a deep scarlet. Allowing the obi to slip to the hardwood floor, he then opened the first of three layers if kimono robes. The top layer was made of a black silk, with a design only covering the back and lower half. It consisted of butterflies, sown with golden thread, and Lotus flowers, (only on the bottom half) sown with white and pink thread. Allen allowed it to drop to the floor.

The second or middle layer was a cloth made of white silk. This one also had a tie in the side so as to help hold the kimono in place, but it was easier to take off than the last one. He allowed this one to drop to the floor.

The third and last layer, which was an almost see through layer of cloth, had no ties or obi's. It was just rapped snugly around his slim body. He began to loosen this one and was lowering it to the hardwood floor, when he heard foot steps. The cloth hovered around his mid section covering him from curious eyes; and, his back was to the door so none could see any evidence of the love bites and such that adorned the front of his body. Just when he didn't hear the foot falls anymore the flap of the tent slammed open and slid closed.

Walking in, Cross took on glance at Allen and then moved over to his desk to find a paper he was in search of. Allen turned his head to see Cross better when he notice another person was standing in the doorway. The person seemed to be in shock at being dragged into the Ringmaster's room just to find some one, more than half naked, changing clothes.