This is just a prologue, showing Alice's life before she moved to Forks. The verses below are from Welcome To My Life by Simple Plan and it fits this chapter perfectly. The titles for the chapters will be the names of the songs put at the beginning of each chapter or the name of a song I was listening to during the chapter was being written.

Warning: this story deals with dark subjects with violence, severe abuse, sexual abuse, bad language and perhaps a sex scene.

I do not own the Twilight characters, S Meyer does. I wish I did. But I do own some OC's and some of the plot. This will have events from Twilight and some of the other books but it wont always follow the plot cannon of Twilight.

EdwardxAlice. BellaxEdward/? Jasperx? EmmettxRosalie CarlislexEsme. This is an EdxAli story though. If you don't like don't read.

On with the story!

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

**************

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

A cold, gooey substance was poured over me. A slushy, strawberry flavour. It wasn't the first and it wasn't the last. Everyone just laughed.

I was glad it was the end of the day so I could get into my car and catch a ride home with Bella, my sister.

I went to my locker, people still snickering and tripping me up. I finally made it to my locker, I had just managed to get the Sharpie written words off of it and someone had made some more.

Psycho.

Nutjob.

Freak.

Ugly.

Demented.

Whore.

Cutter.

Bitch.

Worthless.

Damaged.

Broken.

Insane.

I stared at my locker, emotionless. I stopped feeling pain as I read the hurtful words written in different colours and writing styles, there was no point in crying over it. I breathed out shakily and opened my locker, pulling out my bag I used my sleeve to sweep the slushie from my hair onto the floor. A teacher was watching on in pity but not telling off the students for what they had done. Even they hated me.

I slung my bag over my shoulder and walked through the halls, leaving a trail of red slush behind me. I made it to the car park but saw my sisters car leaving with a bunch of her friends seated in it, all of them laughing and smiling.

I wish I had friends.

No one wanted to be my friend, they all knew that I had been put into a mental asylum and how I "claimed" to have visions. I really did and I wished someone would believe me. They didn't care, they enjoyed making my life more of a hell than it already was. They didn't care about the torture I went through, they just did it because it was something they had a power over. No one cared and no one ever would.

I was sure of it.

I sighed and hiked my bag higher up my shoulder and started walking through the parking lot, almost getting hit by a car or two, before I finally got off school grounds.

The school was a large white and dark blue building with five floors and an open roof, astro turf and a basket ball court as well as one for tennis and badminton. Large school grounds mostly with orange sand and the occasional expanse of grass. Tall metal-link fences surrounded the school with metal detectors at the gates.

I walked along the side of the road, kicking up red sand and I smiled just slightly but jumped when there was a loud honk followed by yells.

"Well if it isn't Little Loony" called one guy, I knew he was on the football team, the Hawks. He was big muscled and not very bright with a blonde always hanging off his arm. He hated me most and him and his friends usually beat me up. We had a hate hate relationship.

I didn't answer back, I never did. I had given up on speaking when no one believed me; what was the point in talking if no one ever listened? I don't think anyone had even noticed I didn't talk. It's not like anyone in school tried to make conversation and my family tried to avoid me at all costs.

I put my head down and continued to walk, they sped on not paying me any more attention. It was if the world had tipped off it's axes for just a second for someone to so much as look at me. And then it tipped back.

I glared down at my feet hatefully. Why had I been so stupid as to mention my visions? Would they like me better if they didn't know? Would they like me more if I changed my clothes and haircut? Would they like me more if I wasn't marked in such an ugly way? If I didn't scream in my sleep or cry at night? Would they like me better if they had never met me and I was just a passing person in a conversation?

Would they like me better if I was dead?

Sometimes I think they would. I wouldn't be there to annoy them, I wouldn't be there to mess up. I wouldn't be there to be a freak, a joke to them all. Sometimes I think things would be better if I were to just drop dead. It sounded like a relief.

To be rid of the pain and fear, to be rid of it all. To end it all, I wanted it to end. I always felt so lost, just wandering through like I did the halls in school during lunch, I was a wreck. OCD, Attachment Issues and Anxiety problems. I had a strong phobia of medicine, doctors and hospitals, also men and vampires. The Doctors Mom had sent me to had told her I may act like a child sometimes. I had an obsession with shopping.

I know vampires exist as he was one. I had the bite marks to prove it.

I walked home and unlocked the door, I walked in and the first thing I heard was Bella laughing in the living room with her friends. I put down my backpack and headed up the stairs. I went into the first door on my left; my room.

It had turquoise walls with a white border, dark purple carpeting. My laptop was on the desk in the corner beside my single bed with purple and blue sheets, pillows and comforter. The window to the left opposite the bed had bright light streaming through the half open pink and white curtains. There was also a large wardrobe at the back of the room across from the door filled with clothes. The walls were covered in sketches, poems and pictures.

I drew every vision I had, I spent hours drawing every little detail. Other sketches were of anything that caught my eye, I drew images on how I was feeling. I had drawn a picture of the wooden mannequins people use to learn to draw people with and made it so it was hanging itself, the shading and shadow on the wall behind it made it look more real. That was my favourite.

My other favourite was of a tree, it was easy to see it was a tree but it was made of different things. A fork was the trunk and the leaves were drawn in as spiral springs, the apples I had made as eyes. It was made of lots of different things and it had taken me all day to draw, the tree represented a normal person and how we were all made of different things. I liked it a lot.

I changed into some skinny jeans, black and pink socks and a black hoodie before I went down the stairs, humming to myself. As I was passing Bella and her friends -Carrie, Laura and Maria- one of their feet stuck out purposefully and tripped me up so fell flat on my face right as my mother walked in.

"Mary get up off the floor now," she said as she gave me a disapproving look.

She always looked at me like I was some disappointment. I was never good enough, never did anything perfectly like Bella. I was never, ever going to be good enough for her, I wasn't going to be perfect. How could I be?

I wanted to be good enough, to be perfect. Maybe then people would like me, if I was normal and wasn't thought to be crazy. Then perhaps Renee wouldn't be so disappointed and ashamed of me.

I picked myself up and walked past Renee, I went into the kitchen and got myself a drink.

My name is Mary-Alice Brandon Swan. Welcome to my life.