Partner in Crime: Okay so I know your thinking Oh boy! Another stupid manual fic! But in my opinion, I freaking love these fics so I decided to give one a shot. Based on the true genius of LolliDictator. If you have time, check out her stories! DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HETALIA. I also don't own Hayley, Shannon, and Ali. My friend Owlcookies owns them. If you've watched FMA, search her story Somewhere, Down in a Hole.
Ali's POV
It was just a normal Saturday, not very unusual at all minus the fact that my friends Hayley and Shannon managed to break my PS3 by not only pouring strawberry milkshake on it, but also stepping on it. Nice friends, huh?
Anyways, Shannon, Hayley, and I were sitting in my room, on my computer, looking at some random Hetalia stuff. Well, to be more accurate, Hayley was sitting on the top of my dresser with my laptop, I was at the foot of my dresser trying to get it back, and Shannon was just shouting random and unhelpful stuff.
"HAAAAAAYLEEEEEEEY! Give me back my laptop!" I whined.
"No! You're the only one who has been on it the whole time!" Hayley replied.
"But its mine!"
"To bad punk!" Hayley scooted closer to the wall. "Hey! Ali! I don't think your firewall is working!"
"What did you do now?" I groaned.
"Nothing... I just came across a popup."
"Just delete it," Shannon suggested.
"CONGRATULATIONS! You are the one-millionth visitor of this site! Click here to redeem you prize!" Hayley read out loud. "Oooh! What if you won a free Ipad! Like the time I did in Language Arts!"
"Can you please come down?" I begged.
"Fine!" Hayley glared at me but came down nonetheless. Hayley clicked on the popup, which led her to another popup.
CONGRATULATIONS!
You have just won a free Hetalia unit package!
"What are hetalia units?" We all wonder aloud.
"Wait! There's more!" Hayley scrolled down.
The Hetalia unit package comes with the following:
Russia, Korea, Prussia, England, China, Italy, Switzerland, Canada, USA, France, Spain,...(ect.)
"Cool!" Hayley and Shannon exclaimed. "Get it!"
"No thanks."
"Please?"
"Come on Ali!"
"No way." I looked at Hayley. She was grinning madly. "What?"
"I clicked on it."
"HAYELY!"
"What! Nothing bad happened. Just a little a little message that read 'Thank you for your purchase. Your first unit will arrive in 1-3 business days.'
"You bought something? HAYLEY!"
"Hey! I don't remember buying anything! I just clicked on the button!"
"If what ever you bought will kill me, burn down the house, eat me out of house and home, or-"
"Its just a unit!"
"Exactly! What the hell are units?"
XXX
On Monday morning I made my way downstairs, still half asleep.
I don't think I introduced myself yet. I'm Ali Griffin, 13 years of age, and a soon-to-be eighth grader once the summer is over. I live a nice big white house in sunny Palo Alto, California with a pool and big garden. It's a very nice place to live in, especially when you live alone. That's right. Alone. My parents are on a sailing trip around the world so it's just me and my next-door-neighbor/caretaker/family friend Rosa Gonzalez. She only checks up on me occasionally. That means I do all the shopping, cleaning, ect ect. But I hate cleaning. It sucks!
The doorbell rang. It was probably one of my friends. Since I'm pretty much alone and I have a big house, my three friends Hayley, Shannon, and Emma practically live at my house. I open the door and start to lecture the person standing in the doorway.
"What the hell are you doing over at my house? LEAVE ME ALONE!" I growl.
Instead of a thirteen-year-old girl of some form, I see a delivery guy with a box the size of me, probably bigger.
"Uhh... sorry, don't mean to intrude, but are you Ali Griffin?" The delivery guy apologized.
"Sorry, I'm not really a morning person," I explain.
I saw a white truck with... OMG THATS FLYING MINT BUNNY!
"Yes it is." The delivery guy confirmed. Holy crap! He's a mind reader!
"Would you mind signing here?" He motioned at the line on the clipboard. I took the pen and wrote my name that was either 'Ali Griffin' or Aii grtheigh'. "Thanks so much. You're next package will arrive in two days."
The guy left, leaving me with a huge box in my doorway. I sighed ad reached for my phone. In a few short seconds, I had my two friends on speaker.
"Hey guys. The package arrived today and I was wondering if you can come over to help me with a box, because there is no damn way I can move it by myself."
"Hmmmmm let me think... ahhhhhh...NnnnnnYES!" Hayley teased.
"Sure. But ummmm... are you offering cookies?" Shannon asked.
"Fine. I'll give you guys cookies," I replied.
"YAY! COOKIES!" The both cheered and hung up. I sat on the porch, watching the sun peak over the trees. What the hell have I gotten myself into?
"WOAH! BIG BOX!" Hayley hollered across the street. "I thought they would be like action figures or bobble heads or something!"
"No. Really?" I scoffed. "I hope we can fit it in the doorway."
"It never hurts to try!" Shannon suggested.
We tried to lift the box(fail), we tried to push the box(fail), we even tried to break the box into separate pieces(fail). By some miracle got the box inside my giant living room.
"Who did you get? Please be America!" Hayley was the "America" in our group. The box read FELICIANO VARGAS.
"Who the hell is Feliciano?" Hayley questioned. She didn't watch all of Hetalia as far as I know and didn't know that every character had a human name. I pick up the instruction manual labeled "Feliciano Vargas: User Guide and Manual." I start reading it aloud.
"CONGRATULATIONS! You have just purchased your very own FELICIANO VARGAS unit! In order to allow you full access to all of your unit's wonderful traits, we have provided this manual. Reading it is highly advised to avoid any undesirable situations involving a furious older brother unit."
I skimmed through the manual, with Shannon and Hayley reading over my shoulder.
"Hahaha! Pasta Freak!" Hayley laughed at his "responds to: Pasta Freak"
Shannon read through the rest. "Basically, they sent you a human!"
"OMG I HAVE MY OWN ITALY!" I cried, jumping up and down with joy.
"Hold on a second. This says Feliciano Vargas. Not Italy." Hayely said. "So then... what?"
It took us exactly 10 minutes and 33 seconds just to get the Feliciano Vargas thing into Hayley's head. It took us another 5 minutes and 22 seconds for her to understand the rest of the characters. And yes, I timed it.
"Lets see...Hey! They gave us different options on how to activate him! Okay...hmmm... well, option 2 is out since we don't have Germany, Romano, or Rome." Hayley scanned through the rest. I peer over her shoulder.
"Option 3 is out!" I said.
"Well then lets get some pasta and drag the box into the kitchen!"
"How are we going to do that?"
XXX
Once we got the pasta in the boiling water, we waited until there was a soft thudding noise.
"What was that?" Shannon squeaked and hid behind Hayley. "I think it's going to eat me!"
Then, believe it or not, the box started crying. "Owww~~~ my poor hands! This box is very, very hard!" We looked at each other. Yup, this was definitely Italy.
"I think we should save Italy," I stated. Hayley and Shannon nodded their heads. I found a latch and removed it. The one side of the box gave way and a very happy Italy leaped out and hugged me.
"Ve~ thank you! Its was super scary in that dark box! I'm glad you saved me!" Feliciano chirped. "What's your name? Mine is-"
"Feliciano. I know. And I'm Ali, that's Shannon, the short one, and the one who's trying to stir the pasta is Hayley."
"What pretty names!" He smiled.
"Awww he's adorable!" I cried hugging him back.
"Maybe because he's set to adorable, captain obvious." Shannon remarked. I stuck my tongue out at her and let go of Italy.
He just kind of sat there, with his eyes closed going "Ve~" for a few seconds while Shannon, Hayley, and I watched with pure amazement. Then he jumped up, smiling.
"Can I have the pasta now?" I dished out the pasta we had just boiled. Hayley handed him a bowl.
"Sorry it's a bit plain but that's all she has right now," Shannon apologized.
"Yeah I know. I'll go shopping tomorrow. Don't rush me!" I said, dishing pasta for the rest of us. We ate in silence, even though we were having a conversation with our eyes. It went a little something like:
Okaaaay so now I know what a unit is!
I hope you get America next! AMERICA! AMERICA! OH YEAAAH!
I just remembered something...
What?
What?
Italy likes to sleep with other people...
Nuts and bolts!
You're screwed!
Ve~ Can I have more pasta?
"Knock yourself out!" I said, breaking the silence.
"Ve~ Why would I do that? It would really hurt!" Italy asked. Shannon faceplamed.
"Its an expression! It means 'Sure! Go ahead!' " Shannon explained.
"I'll tell that one to Romano the next time I see him!" He chirped, dishing himself a big helping.
"Well, lets all cross our fingers and hope that you get America next!" Hayley remarked happily.
"And our toes!" Shannon exclaimed.
"I can't cross my toes," I sighed. "But I would love to be a mind reader!"
"I can read minds!" Hayley proclaimed
"Ve~ really?"
"Yup! You are thinking about... PAAAAASTA!" Hayley waved her arms dramatically.
"Wow! You're really good! Italy said, stunned.
"Cheater.." Shannon and I mumbled while Hayley started going off about her awesomeness.
"You see the powers of my awesomeness? OH YEAH! 'Cuz I is AWESOME! OH YEAHHH!" Hayley keeps ranting on and on about those kinds of things...people these days...
When the pasta was all eaten (or thrown onto the ceiling, whichever floats your boat), we made our way upstairs. I pointed to an empty room that served as a guest room.
"This is where you will sleep," I inform Italy.
"You do realize he's not going to sleep there," Shannon commented.
"One can only hope..." I sigh.
XXX
"Wow! What this Ali?"
"It's called a Television."
"Ve~ How does it work?"
Hayley started to explain. "Its run by unicorns! They hide behind the screen and poop rainbow, which gives it the color. Then leprechauns give the fairy's gold, in which they use to run their magic, causing the colors to make pictures and move and talk. And then-"
"She's messing with you. She's just to afraid to admit she has no clue how it works." Shannon shot Hayley a glare.
"Oooh! Hetalia's on!" Hayley exclaimed.
Shannon and I gave Hayley a look of distress. She just grinned evilly.
"Hayely..." I warned her. "Give me the remote."
"No!"
"Give it!" Shannon and I tackled her while Italy was running around us, shouting and begging for us to stop. Of course, we didn't listen.
Hayley held up the remote over her head. "No!"
Shannon grabbed the remote out of her hand. "Hahahaha I got it!" She cheered triumphly.
"Punk! Give it back!"
"You can't show him Hetalia!" I told her.
"But its just anime!" She whined.
"He's going to think we're stalkers if you show him!" Shannon hissed.
"He doesn't know its anime!" I point out. "He's going to think we're like France, or something."
"Ha ha France is funny," Hayley commented.
"He is funny," I agreed. "But he kind of creeps me out at the same time."
The doorbell rang again.
"Who would that be?" I wondered. "Excuse me, but I have to go answer the door."
"Wow! You're being polite!" Shannon exclaimed.
"Gee thanks." I scoffed.
I answered the door again to see the same guy from the same company with a box.
"Can you not count? It hasn't even been one day! You said I get my next one in two days!"
"Sorry Ali, but someone canceled their order and we can't let them sit in the post office."
"Ahh! You know my name! Stalker Stalker!
"Ali. Your name is on the clipboard." Pssht I totally knew that.
"Fine," I sighed as I signed the signing...thingy... "Thanks...erm... delivery... dude."
"The name's Luke. See you in two days!"
"Bye delivery...dude...Luke... person...thing." I trailed off, spouting random words that came into my mind. I tend to do that a lot.
"Hey Ali, who was that?" Shannon asked as I inspect the box. It read "Francis Bonnefois".
Oh crap. It's France.
Run for your virginity. (BWAHAHAHA!-xb)
Partner in Crime: The last quote I got from a Motivational Poster (or demotivational poster, what ever floats your boat). That quote belongs to its rightful owner. I'm not sure if I want to continue this or not, so if you think I should, drop a line!
R&R~
