Who's Our Mama? (Hetalia)

Author: Ashynarr

Summary: The twins have a very important question for their current caretakers – who's their mother? Sweden tries to explain, but the twins refuse to budge. Finland doesn't help much.

Disclaimer: Hetalia's not mine.

Warning: Vinland!verse (AU to Real Life and Hetalia), little!twins cuteness, humor, oneshot

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((late 900s))

Sweden looked up from his wood carving when he heard the familiar pattering of little feet. He turned just in time to catch two little bundles of energy that turned out to be Leifsbudir and Hóp, the twin Colonies. He smiled at them, ruffling their hair as they hugged him tightly.

"Papa!" The one he figured was Hóp spoke up, pulling away so the older Nation could see the very serious expression on his little face.

"Yes?" He responded, figuring it was best to play along with whatever was on the boy's mind.

"Well, Leif and I were talkin' to some of the nice food ladies, and one of them had a little baby so we asked her where she found him and she said the baby was hers and that she was his mama."

Leif spoke up. "We asked what a mama was and she said everyone had one, but we don't!" The little colony looked distraught at the thought. "Papa, who's our mama?"

Oh. Well. Uhm. To say that hadn't been expected was an understatement. "...you don't h've one."

Hóp frowned. "But why?"

How to explain this? Simple was best, right? "Nations 'ren't born the same way as other people. We... show up. 's why you have all of us as parents."

He had hoped that would be the end of it when they seemed to accept his explanation, smiling and giving him a hug before they disappeared back outside.

No such luck.

~0~0~

"Papa?" One of the boys asked, tugging on Finland's leg as he unloaded the last of the new supplies from the boat he had come in on.

"Yes?" He asked, not sure which one he was yet. He figured it was Lief, since Hóp was generally louder about getting attention.

"One of the nice ladies said that everyone has a mama, but Papa says we don't have any..."

A light grin spread across the Nation's face. This was perfect payback for that incident a few years back, and had the bonus of being a completely innocent gesture to boot! He bent down so that the two boys (the other one had popped up out of nowhere, as was per usual) could hear him better.

"Well, everyone does have a mama. It's just that sometimes they aren't mamas."

They frowned, confused. Finland continued. "What Papa meant was that we don't have mamas in the same sense that our people do. Most children have ladies for mamas, but you boys don't, which is true.

"But being a mama is a very special job, and only a few people can do it. Let's see... a mama tells you stories and sings to you when you can't sleep... a mama holds you close when you hurt yourself, and helps make it better... they protect you from the monsters in the night, and keep the bad spirits away..."

"But... Papa does all those..." Hóp said, wide-eyed.

Finland pretended to be surprised. "Really? He does all that for you?"

Lief nodded, little face scrunched in thought. "But if Papa does all the things a mama does... does that make him Mama?"

"Well, I guess that does, doesn't it?" When the two seemed to have fully latched onto the idea, he gave them a light smile while cackling on the inside. Yes, this was better than he could ever have hoped for with a straightforward form of revenge.

~0~0~

When he arrived at the dock to greet Finland, he was expecting the twins to already be there. What he didn't expect was their reaction on seeing him.

"Mama!" They cried cheerfully, attaching themselves to his legs. He paled slightly, shaking his head.

"I'm a man, I can't be a mama." But any reasoning with them had apparently gone out the window.

"But you tell us stories at bedtime!" Hóp stated plainly.

"And take care of us when we get hurt!" Leif continued.

"And protect us from ghosts and baddies!" The first twin followed, shivering at the thought.

"And Papa said that's what mamas do, so that makes you Mama!" The other child finished with a smile and another hug.

Sweden glared at the other Nation, who chuckled nervously under the fierce glare. "It was just a joke...?" He said feebly, trying to look anywhere except the larger Nation. "I'm sure they'll forget about it in no time!"

As it turned out, that was a lie. The next time he came back, and every time after that, they continued to call him 'Mama' and refused to be convinced otherwise. The other Nordics finding out and encouraging it probably didn't help much either. Sometimes he really wondered why he was friends with them.

~0~0~

((late 1970s))

"...and then you two ran straight back to Sweden, moose after you the whole way, with the both of you squealing 'Mama! Mama!' I swear, the two of you just couldn't control your curiosity!" Denmark finished, waving a turkey leg about as he narrated another tale as America, Canada, and the Nordics ate Thanksgiving dinner together.

America snorted into his glass. "Mama? If we called anyone that I would think it'd be, I dunno, Finland or something."

The Nordics shared a knowing look, before four of them grinned, leaving Sweden to scowl at the others.

"Well, when you were young, you found out from some of the colonists that 'everyone' had a mother, and decided that you needed one yourselves. I told you all about what 'mamas' did, and after you realized Berwald did all those things for you, you managed to convince yourselves that he was your 'mama'." Finland informed them, smiling way too innocently.

Sweden gave him a look. "You didn't h'lp by encouraging them to keep calling me that."

The twins started snickering, the mental images of their younger selves gleefully calling the giant of a man 'mama' too much to handle.

One of the superpower's elbows got dangerously close to knocking over the gravy bowl, earning a frown from the larger Nation.

"Don't be careless and knock something over." He realized his mistake when America and Canada stopped laughing to stare at him, exchanging mischievous glances before replying as one.

"Yes, mama."

The laughter of the other Nordics really didn't help his mortification. Sometimes he really wondered how he was still friends with them.

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AN: Poor, poor Sweden... (and I so see this as the reason Sweden started calling Finland his 'wife'; poor guy just wanted payback for the whole 'mama Sweden' thing.)

I had already had this in mind for... about a week now, I think. The idea of the twins calling him 'mama' just made me giggle uncontrollably with a huge grin on my face at the mental images. Plus the story way down the line... he will never live it down.

(Bleh... I feel like I messed up everything... bleh... ((hides in box of shame)) Why can't I write the Nordics? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?)

It's still the Fourth, so happy Independence Day!