You
stare at him out of the corner of your eye when you are absolutely
positive he's not looking. His silky ebony hair is tied back
loosely, revealing his pale, beautiful face.
You don't know how
he would react if he found out his friend, (male friend, that is)
Remus Lupin the werewolf is smitten with him. You don't want to
know.
He knows you adore him – you aren't such a great actor
that he doesn't know that. He smirks childishly each time he
realises how deep your affection is, but doesn't know just how much
you like him. Love him, even.
Once his breathing becomes deep and
even, you quickly roll over so you can see his almost perfect
beauty.
His hair has freed itself and you long just to go over and
gently brush it away from his face, to feel the silky, fine threads
beneath your fingers.
For once, instead of shoving any silly
little urges like this one aside, you decide to go along with it.
Sirius always does.
You sneak over to his bed, and slowly,
carefully smooth his hair back, revelling in its softness.
His
eyelids flutter open and stormy grey eyes stare at you. You snatch
your hand back as if it was burnt.
As you turn, and start to
stumble out the door, tears sting your eyes.
"Remus," Sirius
says softly but clearly. "Stop. Or I'll hex you."
He's not
bluffing. You can tell . . . But still – It's better to try and
get away than to see those eyes stare at you like that again. So you
keep on walking away, even though you know he will curse you. At
least then the hex will knock you out, and you won't be able to
tell if he does look at you like that again.
"Petrificus
Totalis."
Your body freezes. Your legs won't do what you tell
them to. You can't even sob at the hopeless situation.
You can't
stand up – so you fall flat on your nose. Pain momentarily flares
through you, but then it's gone.
You wonder if he will leave you
on the floor like this until someone comes along and helps you out or
hide you somewhere so no one will find you for days on end. The word
thing he could do is leave you for the Slytherins . . .
To your
intense dismay, he picks you up, and carries you back over to his
bed. You will have to face those beautiful eyes again, after all.
He
places you down, and then to your surprise lifts the curse.
Sirius
stares at you, waiting for you to say something, but you stay silent
and look anywhere but at him.
"Moony," he says quietly, and
you can tell that he's trying to calm you down by using your
nickname. "What's wrong?"
Everything is wrong, you want to
scream. Because he possesses perfect beauty – physically,
emotionally – perhaps even spiritually, and you can't take it
anymore. But you can't say that. "Nothing."
You look up into
his eyes and see a flash of hurt there. But then it's gone, and
he's about to brush you off – not angrily, but impassively, and
that scares you, so you're forced to say something.
"Siri!"
you say frantically, not even sure why you called him that – no one
else does. "Siri, I'm sorry, I – I just – I'm going to be
sick!" You rush towards the Prefects' bathroom.
While you
empty your stomach into the toilet, he comes up behind you, pulling
your hair out of your face, and making sympathetic noises.
When
you're finished, you brush your teeth while Sirius brings you a
glass of water.
"Thankyou," you manage to croak. " . . Siri?
How did you know what the password is?"
Sirius laughs and smiles
sweetly. "Did you know, Moony that you talk in your sleep?" After
shaking your head, he continues. "Well, you do. You say lots of
things in your sleep – passwords for around the school, what
homework and assignments you have to complete, and –" Padfoot has
been edging closer to you for every single word he has spoken. "Even
who you like."
You want the ground to open up and swallow you up
– until he puts his arms around you, and pulls you into a tight
embrace.
After a moment, you respond and pull him even closer,
although your ribs are already aching because of how tight you're
clinging to each other.
"I don't talk in my sleep, Remus. But
I do feel the same way about you."
A warm feeling flutters
around in your stomach and just when you think it can't get any
better, he kisses you, slowly and sensually.
And forever after,
when you're in his embrace, when your arms are wrapped around one
another, you're able to forget everything that holds you down –
homework, assignments, tests – and most of the time, even the Full
Moon.
He cheers you up with his antics when you are feeling down,
helps you through any trial whenever you need help – including the
Full Moon. He believes in you when you're not able to.
Sirius'
piercing, stormy grey eyes seem to gaze into your very soul, and he
knows what you are thinking.
"Vice versa," he whispers simply,
a soft smile playing over his lips.
