Alexander Lightwood loved living with his boyfriend, Magnus Bane. Though he's been living with the High Warlock of Brooklyn for years now, the simple joy of living with the man he loved still brought a smile to his face. Sometimes, Alec thought about marrying Magnus and raising a family with him, but he wasn't sure that's what Magnus wanted. The idea of proposing to Magnus had crossed his mind more than once, but Alec had yet to get up the nerve to say the words. When Alec realized he was gay, he accepted that kids and marriage were out of his reach forever, but by some miracle Magnus Bane entered his life, and everything had changed. Alec had come out of the closet for Magnus, and in some ways, that had made things harder, but Alec had never once regretted the decision. His parents had come around eventually and a great burden had been lifted from Alec's shoulders. Now with Magnus, Alec felt like anything was possible, even marriage and children.

The only cloud left in Alec's grey sky was Magnus's immortality. He knew he wasn't rational to want to be the only love for a man who had lived for almost four hundred years, and even less rational to want that man to never love again, but Alec couldn't help but feel like a notch in Magnus's belt when he thought about the lovers before and after him. In the end, they had both agreed to disagree about the nature of mortality. If Magnus hadn't been born a warlock, he would never had been alive when Alec was born, and thus they never would have meet. They were who they were, immortal warlock and twenty one year old warrior, and that wasn't going to change. Magnus didn't want to be mortal and Alec wasn't willing to become a vampire to be immortal with Magnus. Every couple only has the time they have, and Magnus and Alec were no exception. They had learned to accept this, even though it would mean that one day Alec would sit next to his lover and have it appear as if his love was his great-grandson. Alec loved Magnus far too much to be without him. He had literally followed Magnus into hell before, and Alec would do it again tomorrow if it meant saving the warlock's life. This was just the way it was and that was that.

Alec sighed. He had been lying on his couch for the last half hour, anxious for Magnus to return home. Magnus had left that morning to see a client, then said he had errands to run. Alec wasn't worried for his safety, after all he was very capable of taking care of himself, but he was worried nonetheless. An image appeared in Alec's mind of Magnus pale, losing blood with a knife wound in his chest. Magnus weak and tired, running low on magic. Alec shook it off. They had been through too many wars together for Alec not to worry. Two of the biggest wars in Shadowhunter history. Running errands was not the same thing. Even so, Alec missed Magnus, having not seen him since that morning. Alec realized this was just slightly clingy, but he didn't have to tell Magnus how needy he was when the warlock returned home. Alec was thinking of sending a fire message but dithered back and forth about if it was really necessary. Magnus wasn't even late home yet. Why was Alec so anxious? Just then the door opened, Alec looked up and Magnus was there. A joyful smile spread over Alec's face as he leapt off the couch and crossed the room quickly. He was about to kiss Magnus hello and ask about his day when the warlock's surprised expression stopped him. Magnus took a step back as if Alec was a stranger.

"What are you doing in my apartment?" Magnus asked. Alec just gaped, open mouthed at Magnus. Was he joking?

"It's me Magnus," Alec said softly.

"I do not run a hotel," Magnus said, casually as he closed the door with a snap of his fingers. "You nephilim have a Institute for sanctuary. You don't need to crash at the High Warlock's loft."

"I live here," Alec said, uncertainly. He was starting to freak out. If this was a joke Magnus was taking it way too far.

"I think I would know if one of the Nephilim was living with me," Magnus said, his voice still light and neutral.

"You asked me to move in," Alec replied confused.

"Ha!" Magnus scoffed. "You are a knockout boy but there is more to life than looks, I assure you." Alec had no idea what was going on. Magnus wasn't even looking at him. It was like Alec truly was a stranger to him. Magnus's cool gaze looked Alec over once. Alec was reminded of the day he'd first met Magnus, the day Magnus had showed him attention over Izzy and Jace, but this was so wrong. Magnus wasn't seeing him, Magnus was just seeing Alec's body.

"Stop looking at me like that," Alec said curtly. He just couldn't handle the shallowness of Magnus's gaze.

"Spoil sport," Magnus grumbled. "You have amazing eyes."

"Yeah I know," Alec said. "But quit it!"

"Very well," Magnus said. "But really you should leave. I am not totally sure how you got in."

"I LIVE HERE!" Alec yelled back. His heart was racing and his mind was in a whirl. It felt like Magnus wasn't here; even though Magnus was standing right in front of him.

"Yes you already said that," Magnus replied. "Though I am not sure why."

"Where were you today?" Alec asked. Magnus turned away from Alec and toward his desk which was closer to the centre of the large living area.

"Why should I tell you?" Magnus replied as he sat down at his desk and started going through his things. Magnus picked up a few things then seemed to look around for items that were missing. "What happened!" he yelled suddenly as he further explored his workspace. "Half my stuff is gone! Are you a thief and a gate crasher?"

"We organized your desk last month," Alec answered. Magnus's word hurt. Every time the warlock address him so casually it was like a knife to the heart. Magnus was muttering under his breath now, what Alec could only guess where swear words and he thought he caught the phrase, 'I had a system,' as well.

At this point Alec was full on panicking. The Magnus in front of him didn't know who he was. Alec tried to convince himself this was fixable. He tried not to think of everything Simon was having to do at the Shadowhunters Academy to get his memories back. Alec tried not to remember all the times demons had taken his memories as payment for services rendered. Alec took a few deep breaths and tried to make himself believe that there was hope. He moved closer to Magnus, placing a hand on Magnus's shoulder, then turned the warlock to face Alec, and placed his other hand on Magnus's opposite shoulder.

Alec looked Magnus in the eyes and said as sincerely as he could, "Please, Magnus, please tell me you know who I am." Alec could hear the pleading edge to his voice.

"Well you're a Shadowhunter," Magnus said, jerking out of Alec's touch. "And a Herondale probably." Alec suddenly saw in Magnus's eyes, the years of mistreatment from shadowhunters, and he marvelled for a moment at how Magnus had fallen in love with Alec in the first place.

"Lightwood," Alec answered automatically.

"With those eyes?" Magnus laughed. "If you say so."

His miracle was shattered. Alec could feel the tears forming in his eyes, but tried to push them back. That was the last thing he needed right now. Alec was not going to give up hope just like that. He knew if their roles were reversed Magnus wouldn't give up on him. But he needed help. Alec got out his phone and dialed Caterina's phone number. He thought of calling Tessa, but she and Jem were off on their honeymoon, and besides, Caterina knew more about healing magic. Alec paced back and forth behind Magnus's desk, as the phone rang.

"Why are you still here?" Magnus whined. "I have a desk to de-organize." Alec ignored him.

"Oh, Alec," Caterina's voice came over his cell phone. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Something is wrong with Magnus," Alec said in a frantic tone.

"Is he alright?" Caterina asked. The casual air to her voice was gone, replaced with the same tone she used at the hospital when her patients were in trouble.

"Physically he's fine," Alec replied. "But, Caterina he doesn't know who I am."

"What!" she sounded even more surprised than Alec. After all, it had been Caterina who had convinced Magnus to follow Alec to Alicante and get back together. Never mind the fact that Magnus's attempt to do this had gotten him imprisoned in a hell dimension.

"Please-" Alec began but he didn't need to say more. Over the last few years Alec had grown quite fond of Caterina. She had become his friend as well as Magnus's.

"I'll be right over," Caterina replied and the phone went quiet. Alec took a few more deep breaths. Fighting for his life was second nature to him. Combat and protecting others in a battle he knew how to do, but this was new and scary. Alec felt as if the ground under him was crumbling to pieces but if anyone could figure out what was going on, it was Caterina.

Alec wanted to laugh as his next thought occurred to him. At the moment, the one person Alec wanted to comfort him was Magnus, and though Magnus sat at his desk just mere feet from him, Alec had never felt so alone.

"Did I hear you right?" Magnus asked as he turned away from his desk. "You said Caterina?"

"Yes," Alec answered. "She's a friend of mine."

"Are we talking about the same Caterina?" Magnus asked. "The warlock with blue skin."

"Yes," Alec replied. "We are good friends. You introduced us."

"If Ragnor was still around I would suspect he and Caterina were plotting to make a fool of me," Magnus said thoughtfully. Alec couldn't help but note that Magnus remembered his friend was dead even though it happened during a war in which Magnus fought at Alec's side. How would Magnus remember some things and not others? Alec didn't reply and Magnus continued. "Either way, time for you to leave. I have no time for free-loading Nephilim. Not even hot ones. Out."

Alec wanted to punch Magnus, but he also wanted to burst into tears and collapse into Magnus's arms.

"I live here," Alec said firmly.

"No you don't!" Magnus replied in a similar tone. Alec was just barely holding back his tears, and for a moment Magnus looked at him with the strangest expression. "What's wrong?"

"Have you thought once since you got here about why I might be living with you?" Alec asked. Just saying 'we are dating you prat' didn't quite feel right and telling Magnus 'I love you' felt cheap somehow, knowing Magnus couldn't understand the meaning behind it.

"Well you are hot," Magnus said swavely. "Maybe that's why." He winked, and again Alec was reminded of the day he met Magnus, and the way Magnus had winked at him when he'd told Alec to call him. Despite the strange feeling of having Magnus only look at him based on his physical appearance, there was something comforting in Magnus checking him out. That was how their love had began, with Magnus's blatant unhindered interest in Alec. His Magnus had to be in there somewhere.

Alec was still struggling with what to say when a portal appeared in the living room. Caterina stepped out with her sky blue skin and shock of white hair, and Alec had never in all his life been happier to see her.

"Thank the angel!" Alec sighed as he went over to her.

"What happened?" she asked Alec urgently, but before Alec could do more than opened his mouth to explain, Magnus interrupted her.

"I came home to find this," Magnus jabbed his finger at Alec. "Nephilim gate crasher. He says he lives here." Magnus's tone quieted and he added, "It is weird that he knows you though."

"Oh, wow," Caterina said in disbelief as she gazed wide-eyed at Magnus.

"I told you!" Alec replied. He was starting to feel just a little better. Caterina being here and seeing the same thing he was made him feel like it wasn't all just in his head, like he hadn't imagined an epic love story with the High Warlock of Brooklyn.

"Oh great," Magnus said, sarcastically rolling his eyes. He walked off and vanished into his bedroom.

"When did this happen?" Caterina asked.

"I don't know," Alec said. "I mean he was fine this morning but when he got home tonight... Please tell me you can fix this or at least explain it."

"I know of some temporary memory loss spells," Caterina said. "And some permanent ones but there could have been a million reasons why. I will need to examine him."

Before Alec could reply, Magnus reappeared holding up Alec's bow and quiver in defiance.

"How long have you been gatecrashing Nephilim!" Magnus said waving the bow and quiver in the air. "There are sweaters with holes in them! HOLES! In my closet!"

Alec couldn't hold back the tears anymore. They rolled freely down his face and he felt the familiar brush of Chairman Meow's side against his leg. Alec leaned down and stroked the cat, unable to think or feel anything but hurt. Alec focused on his cat and the motion of stroking his fur. Alec wasn't sure when he had started to think of Chairmen as his cat and not Magnus's cat. It was just one of those things that crept up on you when you lived with someone you loved.

"MAGNUS BANE!" Caterina yelled at him and Magnus yipped like a beaten puppy. Caterina never yelled. "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!"

And Magnus sat, staring up at her with the strangest look in his eyes. Was it fear? No, more like betrayal. Caterina placed her hands on Magnus's head and Alec saw her blue healing magic start to slow. Alec waited, barely able to breathe. When she finally removed her hands a few minutes later, she hung her head and Alec's heart sank.

"What's wrong?" Alec asked anxiously, getting up quickly, from where he'd been sitting petting the cat, and running to her side.

"Alec," Caterina said sadly. She turned away from Magnus as if he wasn't there and focused on Alec. "I don't know why or how, but Magnus's memories have been taken. Very specific memories." Alec could guess which memories specifically but he didn't want her to say it; he didn't want it to be real.

"It's temporary right?" Alec pleaded. "It will wear off soon."

Caterina shook her head. "It appears to me as if they were taken as payment for something. I know many demons ask for happy memories as reimbursement." She paused for a second then yelled, "But Magnus knows better than to get caught up in that!"

"Can we get them back?" Alec asked.

"I don't know," Caterina said. "Normally I would ask Magnus but…"

"I am still here," Magnus grumbled.

"Yes and no," Caterina replied. "My friend Magnus Bane would know why Alec is here."

"So, you are saying I shouldn't be surprised that I'm living with a Shadowhunter?"

"No," Caterina replied. "This shadowhunter has gone to hell and back for you, you ungrateful warlock!"

"Which hell?" Magnus inquired. "Because some are far worse than others."

"Edom!" Caterina spat at Magnus. "This is just insane. He's even more annoying than before."

"What memories specifically?" Alec asked. He was sure what her answer would be, but he realized he needed to hear it. There was no time for denial; it was real either way.

"Memories of you, Alec," Caterina said sadly. "He only lost his memories of you."

"That's what I thought," Alec whispered to on one in particular. Had Magnus willingly traded his love for Alec away? The idea felt like a knife in Alec's heart.

"Why are you acting like someone died!" Magnus complained. "This is all just a bit on the dramatic side don't you think." Magnus paused, and when no one spoke he continued. "I don't understand why memories of him would be valuable enough for a demon to ask for them as payment. They are picky about the memories they ask for."

"Memories of the greatest love of your life for instance," Caterina said coolly.

"Huh?" Magnus asked.

"You love him, Magnus," Caterina almost pleaded with her friend. "More than I've ever seen you love anyone before."

"Him?" Magnus asked again pointing at Alec but looking at Caterina.

"Yes," she confirmed. Magnus seemed taken aback by the conviction in her voice. He turned to watch Alec again.

"He looks like Will," Magnus said as he moved closer to Alec, as if studying him. Alec didn't like this observation one bit. Being compared to Will Herondale, even if he knew Magnus and Will were never a couple, was not a pleasant feeling.

"He is nothing like Will," Caterina said.

"How do they look so similar then?" Magnus asked.

"Will's sister married into the Lightwood family," Caterina explained. "Recessive blue eyes."

"Ah that makes sense," Magnus concluded. "Genetics are rather intriguing aren't they."

"Is that all you have to say?" Alec demanded. He was suddenly furious. He wasn't sure if he was mad at Magnus or not, but he knew he would have loved to sink an arrow into something right now.

"Actually no," Magnus said then added almost academically, as if solving a puzzle. "If you love me then you must know me." He snapped his fingers and a deck of flash cards appeared in his hands. "Pop quiz. Which country am I banned from?"

"Peru," Alec answered quickly.

"That was an easy one I have to admit," Magnus replied. "But do you know who we were talking about just now?"

"William Herondale," Alec answered mechanically trying to quell his anger. "A Shadowhunter who thought he'd been cursed by a demon so all the people who loved him died. You helped him about hundred and thirty years ago. It turned out the curse was a fake." He had memorized the contents of Magnus's journals years ago. "You kissed him once to make Camille jealous because she'd cheated on you with some Russians."

"Fine then, but I bet you don't know how old I am," Magnus grinned.

Tiring of Magnus's games, Alec decided to end them. "You were born in Indonesia in the early 1600s," Alec said. "Your father is a prince of hell named Asmodeus, who I have met by the way, not a nice guy. Your mother, who was half-Dutch half-Indonesian, hung herself in your barn when you were ten. You still have a piece of the rope she used in a small box hidden in your office. Your mother wasn't gone long before your step-father tried to drown you. You killed him in self defense and ran away. The Silent Brothers in Spain, took you in after that until you were seventeen, at which point you decided to start chronically lying about your age to sell your magic. Since no, you are not as old as the dead sea! I could give you a detailed account of all your ex's and your disastrous adventures in Peru, none of which got you barred from the country by the High Council of Peruvian Warlocks, but I think you get the idea."

Alec paused for only a second before, walking closer to Magnus and plucking the card out of his hand. "And I know these are blank. You did always have a flare for the dramatic."

Magnus stood staring at Alec with new eyes. He looked like he was in shock. Alec remember how private Magnus had been about his past and wondered if maybe he'd gone too far.

"How?" Magnus mouthed, as if unable to speak.

"Everything I know about you," Alec spoke softly, his angry evaporating. "I learned from your lips."

Magnus crumbled in defeat as he sank into his desk chair. "I've lost my memories," Magnus whispered as if only now believing them. Alec couldn't bear seeing Magnus look so defeated. His heart ached to pull Magnus into his arms and comfort him.

"I am going to retrace Magnus's steps today," Caterina said. "You said he was normal this morning, Alec?"

"Yes," Alec replied.

"Alright then," Caterina said, busy-like then she turned to glare at her friend. "Now Magnus!" she said in a motherly scolding tone. "Be nice to Alec while I'm gone or else." Magnus rolled his eyes, but his expression didn't change otherwise; he still looked a little lost.

"I will be back as soon as I know something," Caterina said before she opened another portal and vanished through it. There was silence in the wake of Caterina's departure.

"It's funny," Alec said in a humorless voice when he could bare the quiet no more. "I miss Magnus."

"I'm right here," Magnus complained.

"Yes and no," Alec answered. "If my Magnus was here, I could kiss him."

"You could kiss me," Magnus suggested, casually. Alec arched an eyebrow at him. "I'm not saying it wouldn't be our first kiss from my perspective, but why not."

"Why not," Alec mused. "Let's see. Because it would mean something different for me than you, and I don't think I can handle that right now."

"It's just a kiss," Magnus waved his hand as if it were nothing. "What does it matter."

"It matters because the love of my life came home to me today and looked right through me," Alec answered. "Like I wasn't there. Imagine for a moment what that feels like."

An old pain spread over Magnus's face. "Camille," he said softly. "She used to look through me."

"Yes, I know," Alec replied. "She was a piece of work." Alec was still to this day a little bitter, he'd been denied the opportunity to kill her.

"Is there anything you don't know about me?" Magnus asked a little awed.

"Not sure," Alec answered. "Four hundred years is a long time."

"I don't tell people about my past," Magnus said as he got up out of his desk chair and headed to the couch. He collapsed into it as if his legs could not bare his weight, and he needed the support.

"I know that too," Alec said, following Magnus's lead and sitting next to him on the sofa, though not close enough for them to touch. They sat in silence for a moment, all the while, Alec fought the urge to move closer to Magnus, to hold him and be held by him.

"So few people really know me," Magnus whispered after a moment. "I don't ever open up like that, not even with the people I love."

"Camille knew quite a lot about you," Alec said, unable to keep his emotions in check.

"She knew of me before she knew me," Magnus replied. "We met at a diplomatic dinner. And I was younger then. Foolishly wearing my heart on my sleeve, or at least pretending to."

"You didn't want to talk to me about your past for the longest time," Alec explained. "It took us both almost dying together in hell for you to finally open up to me."

"I remember that," Magnus said. Alec's heart leapt before he added. "Being imprisoned by my father that is."

"Do you remember who came to save you?" Alec asked.

"I-" Magnus started. "Clary I think."

"It was me," Alec said with a sigh. "But Clary was there too I suppose." Alec's hope had been fleeting and was now thoroughly squashed.

"You came to help Clary?" Magnus asked.

"I came to save you," Alec answered.

"This just all seems so insane!" Magnus exclaimed, standing up, moving a few steps away, then running his hands through his hair. "You know enough about my past to make me panic. You claim to love me, but I don't remember you!"

"Magnus," Alec whispered so softly it was barely audible. Alec stood up and walked over to Magnus, taking both Magnus's hands in his. Screw protecting himself. Alec knew there was no getting over Magnus Bane. If they couldn't fix this, he would be broken and that was just a fact.

"I remember you," Alec whispered. "I love you. It isn't a claim, a trick, or a lie."

"I don't know you," Magnus spoke softly, but he didn't break their gaze or pull his hand away, which Alec tried to take as a good sign.

"Please get to know me again," Alec smiled. "Because I love you and I don't ever want to lose you."

"Haven't you already lost me?" Magnus asked. "The me that loved you, I mean."

"I got you to fall in love with me once," Alec answered. "I think I can do it again." Hope was rising in Alec's chest faster than he could control it. Alec leaned in closer, watching Magnus's face as he did so. Magnus didn't seem opposed to it, so Alec moved an inch closer and pressed his lips against Magnus's. It may have only been that morning since Alec had last kissed Magnus, but with all the pain and confusion since then it felt like an eternity. Alec pulled Magnus closer to him by the collar of his shirt. Magnus's lips responded to him, but his body was rigid. Alec took this as a bad sign and pulled back, but as he did so, Magnus moved forward, as if unwilling to be released. With a smile, Alec deepened their kiss.

"Hmmmm," Magnus sighed, his eyes closed. "You're good at that."

"Learned from the best," Alec replied grinning.

"Oh? And who might the best be?" Magnus asked, opening his eyes. Alec traced the side of Magnus's face slowly, gazing unblinkingly into those cat-eyes he loved.

"You might know him," Alec said smiling. "Loves glitter, spikes his hair and has the most strikingly beautiful eyes I've ever seen."

"I taught you to kiss?" Magnus asked, skeptically.

"My first kiss was right over there," Alec said, pointing to the front door of Magnus's apartment. "With you."

"I was your first kiss?" Magnus asked again with disbelief.

"First, second, third," Alec said. "Hundredth, and the only person I've ever kissed, or ever want to kiss."

"How old are you?" Magnus asked.

"Twenty," Alec replied. "But we met when I was seventeen."

"Ah," Magnus said knowingly. "Did I steal your innocence?"

"Maybe," Alec chuckled. He leaned in and kissed Magnus again, the hope that they could get back what they once had was burning brightly in his chest now. This time Magnus seemed more relaxed. He wrapped his arms around Alec, and returned his kiss with passion. Alec didn't realize Magnus was moving them backwards until his legs hit the back of the couch. Alec collapsed onto the couch as Magnus climbed on top of him.

"Magnus," Alec moaned as the warlock started to kiss his neck. He was still Magnus, even if his memories of Alec were gone. He still made Alec's skin tingle and his heart pound, but this wasn't his Magnus. It took all of Alec's self control to pulled away, panting.

"Oh, taking back all your declarations of love?" Magnus scoffed as they separated.

"You are kinda an ass when you don't love me," Alec commented. The kiss had changed nothing.

"I have known Nephilim for a long long time," Magnus replied standing up. "I was alive-"

"Before the accords, yes, I know," Alec sighed, frustrated he repeated in a bored voice. "You once sat and ate with Shadowhunters to talk peace, then those same Shadowhunters threw away the plate you ate off because you had irredeemably tainted them with your downworlder-ness or whatever." Magnus just stared at him, again speechless.

"Magnus," Alec said patiently. "Not every Nephilim are like that. You accepted me for me. How could I not do the same?"

"You're saying that your Shadowhunter parents don't care that you are," he gestured to the room before he added. "Apparently living with a downworlder?"

"Oh, it was me dating a man that truly confused them," Alec laughed. "Then I was super badass and saved the world, so they had to suck it up and leave me alone." To Alec's surprise Magnus laughed.

"You certainly are different for a nephilim," Magnus conceded.

"Thanks," Alec said tentatively.

"And my eyes are not stunning by the way," Magnus said. Alec could see the insecurity he'd come to recognize as Magnus's dislike of his warlock mark.

"They are to me," Alec replied. Magnus gave Alec a strange look, but before Alec could decipher it, Chairman Meow chose that time to make his appearance. He gave Magnus an affronted look before turning to Alec and rubbing up against his leg.

"What!" Magnus scolded his cat. "Who feeds you! Geez!"

Alec chuckled. "Actually, I do most of the time." Alec leaned over and picked up the cat. Chairman purred in his arms as Alec scratched behind his ears.

"That cat doesn't like anyone," Magnus said as if reminding Chairman of his mistake.

"Chairmen Meow liked me right away," Alec cooed to the cat. "Didn't you Chairman." As if on cue Chairman meowed and rested his head more comfortably on Alec's arm.

"I am going to bed," Magnus announced, shaking his head at his cat. "It's been a long and extremely confusing day."

"I'll join you," Alec replied. Magnus turned to face him, annoyed.

"I don't need a stranger in my bed thank you very much," Magnus replied.

"I am hardly a stranger," Alec argued. "And even if I was, you can't say it would be the first time you'd had a stranger in your bed."

"Why you little!" Magnus grumbled. "How am I supposed to win an argument with someone who knows all my secrets?"

"Stop lying," Alec answered easily. Magnus muttered something under his breath in a even more annoyed tone; Alec was glad he couldn't make out the exact curse words Magnus was using, though his imagination was running wild trying to figure them out.

"What do you know about it huh?" Magnus shot back. "You're twenty years old!"

"Honesty has nothing to do with age," Alec explained. "And everything to do with trust." Magnus didn't speak but turned and walked pointedly into his bedroom.

Alec knew Magnus's bedtime routine all too well and only went into the room after Magnus was already tucked into bed. After getting himself cleaned up, Alec actually put on full length pajama bottoms for a change, and climbed into bed.

"So you weren't kidding then," Magnus's voice sighed. Alec had hoped the warlock was already asleep.

"No," Alec spoke softly into the darkness. "I never sleep well without you." Magnus didn't say anything and Alec let himself relax, hoping with all his might that this was a bad dream.

When Alec woke up, he thought for a moment it had all been a horrible nightmare. Magnus's arms was around him, everything was fine. Alec snuggled in closer to the warlock, but Magnus pulled away and Alec knew yesterday had really happened.

"Sorry," Alec mumbled as he sat up. "I was kinda hoping it was all just a bad dream." Again Magnus seemed to study him, and Alec couldn't stop himself from blushing under the warlock's studious stare.

"You are far too invested in me," Magnus said.

"I know you have loved mortals before," Alec said, knowing what Magnus was really saying. "So don't start with that crap. We have as much time as we have, just like anyone else." A strange look flittered across Magnus's face. Alec had seen that look before so he added. "You're thinking about her." Magnus jumped, turning to stare at Alec.

"I told you about her?" Magnus asked softly.

"The first mortal you loved," Alec said. "She was the only one to stay with you till the end. Everyone else left you and I know that was hard but Magnus…" He wasn't sure how to show Magnus he wasn't ever going to leave. Just saying the words might overwhelm him.

"I've really told you everything haven't I," Magnus whispered but somehow it didn't feel like a question.

It was such a strange feeling sitting-in his own bed with the man he loved-and missing that man so very much. Despite everything, Alec leaned forward and moved to kiss Magnus slowly, waiting to see if Magnus would pull away. He didn't. Alec tried to forget, if only for a second, that Magnus was slipping away from him as he threw himself totally into their kiss. He wound his fingers in Magnus's silky hair and deepened the kiss. Magnus fell back against the bed as his hands found their way under Alec's shirt. When Alec moaned and whispered Magnus's name, it was like the warlock woke up; he pulled away getting out of the bed.

"Stop it," Magnus snapped. Alec stared up at his lover's face. There was confusion there in the lines of Magnus's forehead and the way he was worrying his lip.

"What should I stop?" Alec asked gently.

"This," Magnus said gesturing to everything around him including Alec. "You're confusing me." Magnus took another step back and Alec was suddenly worried he would bolt. "This is just too much. Maybe I gave up my memories for a reason."

"Magnus," Alec called reaching out, but Magnus was already moving quickly out of the room. Alec followed and arrived just in time to see Magnus disappear through a portal.

Alec knew he had no hope of locating a warlock of Magnus's skill who didn't want to be found. He tried to contact Caterina again, in the hopes she could help him find Magnus, but she was out of touch. All Alec could do was stay here, in Magnus's apartment, and hope that Magnus came back


Now before any of you yell at me... just know I have an ending planned you will like, promise! :D

Please please please review and tell me what you think! I have been working on this for a while (which is how two of my other stories have sneak peeks for this one) and I have been dying to hear what people think! Do you think this is how Magnus would react if he had no idea who Alec was? My beta told me its funny at first then she realized how sad it was... so... hopefully its not all tears. :D


Sneak Peek Chapter two

"You aren't listening to a word I am saying are you?" Izzy sighed.

"Sorry what?" Alec said turning around to face his sister.

"Nevermind," Izzy sighed. "I know something about loving someone who can't remember you, is all."

"Thanks," Alec said softly. "Simon lost his memories to save us all and he is trying to get them back, right now, at the academy."

"He still looks through me," Izzy said. "I know what that's like."

"Iz," Alec whispered. "I am starting to think-" He knew he should say it, knew he needed to say it. If he didn't say the words out loud they would eat him alive. "What if Magnus did lose his memories on purpose? What if he decided he didn't want to love me anymore?"

"You can't think like that Alec," Izzy said quickly.

"How can I not," Alec sobbed. "He as good as said it before he left Iz."