Summary: Sirius is absolutely thrilled. There's a huge clan wedding, celebrating the linkage (leakage?) of Narcissa Black to Lucius Malfoy. Insert wild hoots of joy and much manic dancing! But no, it's not entirely sarcasm. Sirius would do anything to get rid of as much of his family as possible alright, alright, maybe he does wish Narcissa some joy, as much joy as she can get from that obscene mumble prig - but with the inclusion of his friends and an impending war and much tension, will the wedding go off without a hitch?
A/N: Aha, I steer away from the traditional waters of OCs and Severus Snape to write a Sirius fic! I mean, a seriously Sirius fic, all about Sirius, yes, yes, bad pun, I know. It's night - it's late, what do you expect? Reviews muchly appreciated.
Lucius Malfoy looked down at his plate. Half the lobster still uneaten, as well as some very, very expensive sauce that was apparently made out of basilisk tears and the heart of a unicorn - it cost so much. He looked back up at Narcissa Black.
"Narcissa..."
"Hm?" She looked up at him, and smiled, a little shyly for all they had been dancing around each other for two years. "I'm sorry, Lucius, did I miss something?"
"Well, no, not as such actually. I was just wondering if you're going to eat the chocolate mousse..." Not for nothing was that dessert termed 'Genocide By Chocolate'.
"Do you want it?" Narcissa pushed it towards him. "I'm sorry, I'm just not in the mood for sweets tonight." She really meant, of course, that she was watching her figure. Narcissa had a sweet-tooth and also a slim figure - both of which were not exactly compatible.
"What?" sputtered Lucius. His icy calm was still maturing, he hadn't yet reached the point where nothing would disturb the frozen surface.
"Is there something wrong?" Narcissa raised a fine, blonde eyebrow.
"I've just gone and put a wedding ring in that thing, for lord's sake. I should've put it in the salad, I know, but really..." Lucius's pale cheeks tinged slightly with red. "... the books seemed to think chocolate was much more... romantic..."
Narcissa prodded the dessert with a spoon. Her cheeks were red. "And if I'd choked on it?"
"Mouth to mouth resuscitation, I presume," said Lucius with a sneer and a shrug.
"Well, I accept, anyway," said Narcissa, pushing at the mounds of creamy chocolate.
"Pardon?" Yes, Lucius Malfoy was aristocratic! Any pleiebian would have said 'what?' most undesirably.
Narcissa frowned as she patted the chocolate down. "Your wedding proposal, which I presume is addressed to me." She glared, for a moment at a very pretty waitress. "Unless... are you sure the staff here haven't filched it? Only I've been digging for quite a while now and there's no sign of any..."
"Wha- pardon? I mean, of course it's addressed to you!" Lucius sighed, pushing his silvery hair back. "Look harder, I'm sure it must be there somewhere."
He leaned over to better see what she was doing, and spotted the glint. "Unless I'm not mistaken, that's where it is."
"Are you certain? It looks a little like a sugar violet to me."
"Well, I got amethyst for you," snapped Lucius. Purple for the first time he had seen her, arrayed all in varying shades of lavender and deep, royal purple so that the fairness of her skin, hair and eyes had stood out like a beacon. She hadn't been beautiful, or even pretty, but striking certainly, in that dress with a rather snooty nose.
"Oh." Narcissa scooped it up. "Oh yes, here it is." The ring was golden in the candlelight, glimmering and setting off the deep stone to perfection. There were clumps of chocolate still clinging. Narcissa wiped it off with the napkin. "Shall you do the honors, or shall I?"
"I'd never hear the end of it if I didn't," said Lucius, smiling slightly as he reached out for the ring and slipped it onto her finger. They admired it together, her hand in his, the ring shining there. "Our families will be pleased," added Lucius.
"And you?"
Lucius looked up at her, a little surprised. She was watching him, a little anxiously. "What do you mean?" he said.
"Are you pleased too? You, Lucius Malfoy, not your family."
He had to think about that. His family had pushed him so violently towards Narcissa that really, he'd never thought about not marrying the fair girl. But two years of getting to know her, the way her nose wrinkled when she was trying not to laugh, the lift of her neck as when she puffed with pride. "Yes," he admitted. "I'm quite pleased. And you?"
"I am too," she said, smiling at him.
Lucius smiled back.
--
'Pleased' was hardly a strong enough adjective to describe the reactions from the Black family. They were a clan with strong, proud passions, as opposed to the Malfoys who were certainly happy, in a frosty way. The Blacks could hate, could love, could approve in a rousing roar.
Sirius Black rolled his blue-grey eyes that changed shade according to the light and to the clothes he wore. Slouched in a chair while all around him, his family and extended family and extended-extended family sloshed in a loud, happy buzz, Sirius felt he was perhaps the only one who wasn't absolutely thrilled.
But then, why wouldn't they be? They were marrying Narcissa off to a well-stocked snob of the finest stock (like cattle). Another one in the battalion of prejudiced muggle-haters.
Sirius was just waiting for a chance to go off to his own room. In a way, he was pleased for Narcissa. The two of them deserved each other. And he was getting rid of another member of the family!
Sirius allowed himself a snide grin there.
Also, the wedding was to be in summer and all the attention would be focussed on that, not on Shame-of-the-Family Sirius Black and his Embarassing Views.
"Congrats, Cissy!" he bellowed, waving at her.
She gave him an amused smirk, and a lifted eyebrow. "Why thank you, cousin."
His mother stopped in her petting of the Engaged Niece. Sirius felt his insides shrivel, for all he was so brazen and bold on the outside. His mother was jealous of her sister, even while the marriage was Good for the Family. She was upset because her side hadn't proven very much, the fruits of her loins. Sirius shuddered inside, feeling a little like the prince in the fairy tale with a parade of pampered heiresses in front of him.
"Well, maybe you'll be next, hmm, Sirius?" said his aunt with pointed malice, smirking at her sister.
His mother just snorted.
Sirius escaped up to his room after a while. He stood by the window and stared out at the black, cold night - the stars frozen points of light in the sky. Then he went to sleep.
Sirius nibbled on his quill. It was, unfortunately, not a sugar quill. Kreacher had taken his private stash away, ostensibly because it would make his teeth rot. Sirius gritted his pearly-whites, feeling a rush of anger sweep over him. With the irritation, came inspiration and Sirius found himself scribbling a letter to James Potter.
Heya, Prongsie, he scribbled, we finally get rid of Narcissa. Lucius Malfoy proposed to her finally, now if only Lestrange would get his act together, maybe Bella the Black will be gone too. There is, of course, going to be a huge clan wedding over the summer. I believe they're going to invite every family in the Wizarding World - that is, the pureblood type, the ones who are on the Right Side of the Neighbourhood. Luckily for me, that means your dad and ma too. Look, see if you can get Remus and Peter to come along too, because if I have to stay here by myself, I'll die.
Big,
puppy-dog eyes,
Sirius Black.
He folded up the literary masterpiece, and whistled for his owl. He had received the owl for his eleventh birthday, and of course it hadn't been the friendly, amber one he'd seen and wanted on first sight. No, his father had chosen a small, thin, speedy black owl with a large beak. Sirius never saw it but he thought 'Snape'. His owl had the same deep, almost haunted eyes.
"Here you go," said Sirius, politely, not one to take out his ire on innocent animals especially when they had already been cursed with Snape-ish features.
The owl looked at him, then solemnly stuck out a foot, allowing Sirius to tie the letter. He hooted a little, Sirius fancied that he was telling him not to tie it on too tight. He grinned, ruffling feathers with his free hand. "You alright, Owl?" he asked soliticiously.
"Hweet," said most-originally-named Owl. He nibbled at Sirius's fingers in a farewell salutation and then hopped onto the window sill, turning back to regard Sirius with those eyes. "Hweethweet."
"Yeah, I'll miss you too." Sirius grinned lopsidedly, with a little salute. Owl leapt off and soared into the night, blending in so Sirius thought he could almost see stars sparking among his feathers.
Of course, thought a little part of him, the only difference between Owl's eyes and Snape's was that one never gazed at him without a minglement of hate, rage, shame and bitter envy.
No prizes for guessing who.
What might otherwise have been a productive line of thought was interrupted by the creaking of his door as it opened. Bellatrix peeped in, a smile playing over her pink lips.
Amazing, thought Sirius dully, she can even open a door maliciously.
"Not joining in the festivities, Sirius dear?" she asked, entering completely.
Sirius regarded her dully. His cousin was beautiful in a way that appealed to him more than Narcissa's delicate features. Bellatrix Black had dark eyes that flashed fire and mysterious shadow, with long curling eyelashes, a pale complexion. All his cousins, Andromedea, Narcissa had the same white face. Only Bellatrix's skin shone with a pearly luminescence. Women would have sold their souls to the devil to look like her.
Sirius was convinced Bella already had.
"What do you want, now, Bella?" he inquired with pointed politeness. "And say," Sirius added with sudden spiteful inspiration, "when's Lestrange going to get drunk enough to make an honest woman of you, hm?"
Sure enough, his poniard struck. Bellatrix glared at him with a hatred that stirred even a little fear in him. "I'm not even going to pretend that I'm going to forgive you for that cheap crack, Sirius Black," she sneered, tossing her long hair that shone like a shampoo commercial. "Nor am I going to stoop to your level, either, hm? No, no, I'm not going to give you a cheap insult about how you really are the blot on the Black family tree."
Sirius fists clenched. Who needed them? They were only related to him by gallons of blood - pure blood, blue blood. "As if I care about that," he said with a laugh that grated against his heart. "Look, get out, Bella. You know I hate spending more time than I have to with you."
Bellatrix raised on elegant eyebrow. (No matter how Sirius tried, he could never get that snooty one-raise just right. It seemed to be purely a Slytherin trick). "Make me," she purred.
Not the smartest move, but then, Bella wasn't the smartest witch. Sirius's mouth curved in a dangerous smile as he rose to his feet, looming over her by about half a head and Bella was a tall witch. "With pleasure," he said.
Bella snarled at him like a cornered cat.
There came a genteel cough from the doorway. Sirius's arm paused in midflight. He blinked, Bella blinked.
Andromedea Black stood in the doorway, her ginger eyebrows raised so high they nearly disappeared into her hairline. Like Narcissa, she was more striking than pretty or beautiful. 'Handsome' was the word that came to mind, even when she was all cleaned and made-up. There was a very capable air about her and she had a presence like a poker in a room of delicate china. "What's going on here?"
"Original, Andromedea. Very," grinned Sirius
Her hands were on her hips, even while her rouged lips twitched. "You, Bella?"
"What does it look like?" scowled Bellatrix like a petulant child. "He's going to hit me, isn't he?"
"Yeah, stop that, Sirius," ordered Andromedea.
Sulkily, Sirius dropped his arm. Andromedea had left hook and cross that swung across like an anchor. She gave him a nod of approval, but couldn't leave well alone. "Alright, why don't you two go back down to the party?"
Bellatrix eyed her sister like a cat eyed a canary in a cage. Slowly, she got up and exited, not without giving Sirius a single smouldering look that told him he was going to regret the debacle many times over. Sirius sneered back at her. Andromedea frowned reprovingly at them, very much the maternal relative. She left as well, closing the door quietly.
"Hweet."
Sirius's head jerked up. "How long have you been there, Owl?"
The bird gave him an enigmatic little look as he fluttered over to rest in Sirius's lap, sticking his foot out again to have the letter untied. Grumbling under his breath, Sirius undid it.
Good timing, Paddy m' lad,wrote James. The invite just came. I dunno about Moony, or Wormtail but I'm definitely going to be there along with the pater and mater. What say we bring sweet chaos as a wedding gift, eh?
PS: You know those eyes don't work on me. I feed them to ravens.
Sirius found a grin splitting his face. Whether it was James's letter, or what he had suddenly decided to give Narcissa for a gift, it was hard to say.
The preparations for the wedding swept on with an unwilling Sirius struggling in the undertow. Narcissa was the youngest of the Black sisters, and the first to get married. Andromedea and Bellatrix got quite a bit of flack for this. Andromedea bore it with her usual disdainful calm, but Bellatrix was visibly, to the practised eye, getting angrier and angrier.
Sirius almost pitied Rodolphus Lestrange.
Almost.
"She's going to propose to him herself, see if he doesn't," remarked Phineas Nigellus superciliously from his frame to his greeat-great (etc) grandson, Sirius Black. "And aren't you supposed to be polishing my robe?"
The young man had taken to hanging around in the long gallery of portraits because that was the most deserted part of the house. He took a little bottle with him, and a rag, and told people he was cleaning the portraits.
"There's only turpentine in here," said Sirius with a snarky grin, waving the small bottle of spray at him. "I'm keeping it for when you people become impudent."
A chorus of indignant voices rang out.
"Impudent, I say!"
"Tis thee art the impudent one, jackanapes!"
"Forsooth!"
"Shoot 'im dead! Bang bang!"
Phineas glared down at his smirking grandson, who was making a rude gesture to a magnificent matron in magenta just opposite. "If I were still headmaster, boy, you'd be squeezing flobberworms for five months."
"Good thing for me you're not, eh?" Sirius grinned at his grandfather, grey eyes twinkling. Phineas Nigellus has to fight not to smile back, keeping his face severe. His charming descendant could charm a fox into returning the chickens. Sirius's smile grew a few teeth wider, "Hey, I'll bet a lot of the girls fancied you, right, you old dog? Sexy goatee and all..."
"Are you trying to nudge me and snicker in a most insinuating way?" said Phineas, allowing himself a smirk and stroking his little beard fondly.
The woman in maroon, the late Araminta Fortesque-Black, humphed angrily and turned her back in a whirl of skirts. "How vulgar you are!"
Sirius was about to mime aiming and flinging a dart at her, but he caught Phineas's eye, and when the old headmaster brought down his cane, Sirius almost flinched before remembering he couldn't be hit. "Now don't be childish, young man," he said calmly. "Tell us all about this wedding now, and perhaps we might not inform your mother."
Sirius pouted. "Pft," he said. "Do I look like a gossip columnist to you?" he said, running a finger through his hair.
If he had been at Hogwarts, hundreds of girls might have fainted on the spot. Not entirely metaphorically either. Sirius rather missed the rustling of sighs. But he missed his friends even more. James's rolling of eyes and Remus's faint smile and Peter's unabashed envy. Heck, he even missed seeing the light shine of Snape's greasy hair and that was saying something!
"Your cousin is about to be wed and that's all you can think of, boy? Severus Snape's hair?" sniffed the mildly telepathic portrait of his aunt Matildessa. She had been a celebrated diviner, adept in both occlumency and legilimency. "Who is this Severus Snape?"
"Get outta my head!"
"Ooooohh," chorused the frieze of nymphs rudely.
"Cease this foolery," said a slow, deep voice. The voice of the first Black, Benignus. Normally he was silent in his corner, a dark figure wrapped in a fine embroidered cloak.
His voice, low as it was, seemed to ring off the sides of the corridor, cowing everyone into a chilled silence. Sirius felt a chill run down his spine, raising the hair on his arms.
All in all, he was rather glad that his mother's sharp, strident tones called for him irritably.
That was probably a first.
