I'm Sorry, I Love You

A/N: I wrote this fic on Tumblr but then deleted that account as I had forgotten my password for it. I thought I had lost this fic forever but found it on an old memory stick, so I figured I'd share it with you all. I am honestly very proud of this fic, as it was my first one I have ever written for Teen Wolf and Stydia. And if you have read my previous Teen Wolf and Stydia fic, you would realise that I kind of do like killing Lydia off to bring the top angst to the story. I love me some angsty stydia fics. Just to let you know, this fic was written during season 4, the Deadpool/benefactor storyline. So anyway, I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think.

They hardly talked to each other anymore. It's not like they didn't want to, it's just that they didn't have time. Stiles was still teaching Malia how to be human and Lydia was still trying to figure out how to control her banshee powers and try to help find out who the Benefactor is. After the unfortunate death of her fellow banshee, Meredith, Lydia was becoming more and more unstable of being a banshee. Not only did she feel responsible for Meredith's death, but she felt responsible for saving the lives of innocent supernatural beings, including her friends and she only had one job to do – figure out the third cipher key.

She felt like she couldn't ask anyone for help; Scott still had to train Liam to be a werewolf, Derek didn't have supernatural abilities anymore, Stiles was constantly with Malia now, Kira was still getting used to being a kitsune and Allison… well Allison wasn't there anymore, and more and more every day, Lydia missed her best friend.

After she discovered how she truly felt about Stiles, she just kept her distance. She feared that everyone she becomes close to dies or leaves her; Jackson, Aiden, Allison, Meredith, she wouldn't know what she would do if she lost Stiles. She couldn't even think about it. Sitting beside her record player at her family lake house, she mentally urged the record player to speak to her, give her a sign, anything to help her.

After 3 hours of focussing and being alone, Lydia suddenly gave up. It's not like she wanted to but she was tiring herself out and pushed her banshee powers to the limit. A few minutes of relaxing her mind later, Lydia heard something in her lake house, something downstairs, footsteps, then a loud BANG. Whoever was downstairs knocked something over. Lydia was certain she locked the house door and was certain she didn't tell anyone she was coming here. Anyway, her mum was working late and would've called or texted to say if she's finished her work. She had no text or calls from her mum and her friends who always called to ask if it was okay for them to come over.

So, who was downstairs?

Instinctively, she grabbed her phone from her handbag and called the first and only person she thought of. Stiles. It took two rings until he answered.

"Hey Lyd, what's up?" he casually asked.

"Where are you? Are you near the lake house?" Lydia silently breathed down her phone.

"No. I'm at home studying with Malia. Why?" A hint of curiosity pinched his voice. Of course, he was with Malia, like he always was lately.

"There's someone downstairs and I don't know what to do." She spoke quietly and quickly.

"Whoa whoa, slow down Lydia, are you sure there's someone there?" Stiles asked just as a precaution.

"Um…" Lydia hesitated. To confirm her suspicions, the stairs leading tit hr upstairs area she was currently in squeaked, footsteps getting louder.

"Yes! I'm sure!"

"Okay, calm down, try to find a place to hide, I'll be 10 minutes, okay? Lydia? Everything will be alright." Stiles said reassuringly.

The way Stiles cared about Lydia made her heart flutter and beat uncontrollably. The slow twist of the door handle broke her out of her trance.

"They're trying to get in, Stiles! What do I do? They're trying to get in!" she shouted down the phone with panic and fright.

"Lydia, just keep talking to me, okay? Just stay calm and keep talking to me." Stiles urged her.

"Okay, okay, okay. How long are you going to be?" desperate to hear 'I'm right outside'. But the reply she got was 5 minutes.

'That's too long.' she thought.

Suddenly, the door banged open and a tall manly figure dressed in black, stood in front of Lydia with a sword in hand. It was one of the assassins who are killing the supernatural.

"Oh God! Oh God, oh God, oh God…" she repeated down the phone.

"Lydia? What? What's going on? LYDIA!" Stiles screamed, oblivious to the events taking place on the other end.

"Stiles? Stiles…" Lydia paused, if this is the end, what would she want her last words to Stiles to be?

"I love you." She breathed down the phone.

Panic rose in Stiles' body, he started yelling her name, "LYDIA! NO! STAY WITH ME!"

Finally, finally he arrived at the house. He didn't even stop to park his jeep properly. Stiles launched himself out of his beloved green jeep and ran full speed toward the house, but mainly towards Lydia. Taking as many steps as he could at a time, Stiles finally found himself inside the room Lydia was in.

The first thing he saw was the blood. The deep red puddle of blood, circling the crumpled form of Lydia who was on the floor.

"Stiles." Her voice is what brought him back to his nightmarish reality. Her usual high-pitched sweet voice now desperate and pleading. Stiles ran towards her and scooped her weak body into his arms.

"Lydia, LYDIA! Stay with me! You're going to be okay, you hear me? You're going to be fine." It was more like stiles was trying to convince himself than Lydia.

"I-I know I'm n-not S-Stiles. But this is okay, this is p-p-perfect. Just you and me in my final moments. P-Perfect."

"NO! Lydia, you're not going to die! I forbid you!" Stiles stated seriously. Lydia let out a struggled laugh.

"You forbid me? R-Really Stiles?"

"Just…just stay with me, Lydia." Stiles pleaded.

"Stiles, it's okay, it's fine. I'm going to see h-her again. Allison."

"But, but what about me?"

"Oh, Stiles, I-I will never r-really l-leave you, y-you kn-know. Cuz I'll be in here." Lydia weakly lifted her arm and pointed to Stiles' heart which was currently breaking.

"I love y-you S-Stiles." She stated and began struggling to breathe.

"I love you too." Stiles couldn't think of anything else to say but the three words he always wanted to say to her since he met her in the 3rd grade. He looked down at the face of his first love, dying in his arms, only to realise she had a faint smile etched onto her face, but her eyes were closed, breathing stopped, body lifeless.

The last thing Stiles said was, "I'm sorry." And then the tears started rolling down his cheeks. Body started shaking and her heaved a huge breath before he screamed on the top of his lungs, until it felt like there was no breath left inside of him.

Stiles tugged Lydia closer and kissed her ice cold, blue lips before he looked up and saw his friends gathered around him crying; Scott, Kira, Liam, Derek, Braeden, even Peter and Malia were crying, which was a shock to him because he's never seen Peter cry before and he knew Malia wasn't even fond of Lydia.

All he could do now was hold Lydia close to him and repeat the same 5 words.

"I'm sorry, I love you."