Give and Take
The ways they fall slowly, and the ways they resist.
After it is over she doesn't feel anything.
They fly between sky and land under a million stars but the beauty is lost on her cold, blue eyes.
Why should she try to feel when everything she loves is slowly being taken away from her? Her father is lost, her mother is dead, and her mother's killer still lives. Even though hope remains she cannot help but experience hopelessness. It sneaks up on her in the most despairing of times.
She doesn't mean to cry. It's so weak, and pathetic but she does anyways. There is no one around to witness but an ex-prince focused on flying them home. She prays her sniffles don't reach his ears.
But they do, of course.
He pretends he doesn't hear her hiccups and deep gasps and lets her cry in peace. It's what he would've wanted, if he was in her stead. In a way they are both the same: no mothers, no love. No stable family life to speak of: all shattered and broken. From the journey between opposing sides to teammates he has witnessed enough of her bravery to know that she is actually very scared. They all are.
But they're just kids after all. No matter how quickly they've been forced to grow up, there are moments when he feels like a freshly scarred little boy, barely a teenager. They'll always be just kids.
Kids fighting a war begun by foolish adults.
Even so, he's amazed at her ability to remain firm. With her mother's killer within killing reach, she had found it in herself to spare him; to let him live. It would've wrought years of guilt upon her had she went through it, but the fact that she had been able to see through her rage and quest for revenge and do the right thing makes him feel….proud.
He admires her strength and her beliefs. He hopes that he will be always be able to hold onto his ideals now that he has chosen the right path.
They fly until Appa can't physically move them through the air anymore, and by that time she has fallen silent behind him. No more tears, just deep even breaths. Appa lands with a grunt and he can finally move from his sitting position and stretch his muscles. A look at Katara reveals her sprawled out body, mouth slightly open, hair splayed about her face.
She looks much too peaceful to wake, so he attempts to lift her and move her himself. But before he can get three steps her blue eyes have opened and she struggles in his arms.
"Zu-"
"Let me do this." He interrupts. "You're tired. You're drained. Let me do you this one small favor."
She bites her lip, muttering "You've already done me enough favors." But in the end settles her head onto his shoulder with a resigned "Fine." He's more than thankful she's not resisting him anymore.
He carries her from the bison, along with their two packs on his shoulders and walks until there's a flat enough spot to camp for the night. She rests against a log as he pitches a tent and starts a small fire. By the time it's blazing enough to keep them warm he himself is exhausted and he sits down a respectable distance away.
She still hasn't forgiven him yet and he has to force himself to remember this. Her devastated state is probably the only thing that had allowed for the previous contact, and she'll be back to herself in the morning. Back to wanting to kick his butt.
"Zuko?" He looks up to meet her gaze and is surprised to find a fresh set of tears brimming the top of her long-lashed eyelids. Her hair is sort of a mess around her face but she looks almost cute in a pitiful way.
"Yes, Katara?" He says, fighting to keep the gentleness from his voice. The last thing she'll want is his pity.
"Can you- Can you do me one more favor, please?" She asks and suddenly she looks very small, curled up against that log. She really needn't have asked. He holds his arms out to her like his mother had done to him so long ago and she crawls that respectable distance, and melts into his chest like an ice cube over flame.
"I'm sorry," she sobs. "I just can't feel anything anymore. I can't feel anything at all."
"You'll be okay." He says, her dark hair tickling his lips. "You'll be okay again. You just need time."
She buries her face into his neck and sniffs, inhaling what he guesses is smoke and remnants of Fire Nation spice. "No more favors, okay?"
He nods, holding back a small wry smile and choosing to embrace this rare moment of feeling needed instead. "No. No more favors."
When they reach their friends again everything is mostly the same. They don't speak very much on the ride home, but in the end she wraps her arms around his neck and whispers her forgiveness in his ear. It's one of the last burdens to go from his back and he can relax into her hug. Maybe he's not allowed to do her anymore favors, but she has done him the greatest one of all.
