"Circles"
"Sasuke" Naruto smiled over at me "This is Karin" I glanced over his shoulder at the bitch with red hair that stood behind him smiling at me.
"Hn" He kissed Sakura as soon as she arrived and held her in his arms. He linked their fingers together as the walked ahead of Karin and I. She blabbed on and on and my eyes were focused on his hand linked with Sakura's and his nice ass.
Take my hand lets go,
Somewhere we can rest our souls.
We'll sit where it's warm,
You say look we're here alone.
I always wondered why Naruto would drag me with him all over. Even on his dates with Sakura and I always felt like a third wheel. It wasn't that I didn't like being around him but seeing the one I loved kissing someone else wasn't pretty.
He'd usually try and set me up with someone else. It was just something I hated. But in my dreams where its perfect. Naruto and I would seat out in the open holding hands. Not in an overly gay fashion but just us there.
Like in the park when he'd go on dates with Sakura. And in that place we'd be together, kissing and hold hands... but it just never seemed to be.
[Chorus:]
I was running in circles,
I hurt myself,
Just to find my purpose.
"She broke up with me for Sai" Naruto grumbled as he held unto me crying hard as if his whole world was crumbling and falling apart before him.
"I told you she was no good dobe" I shook my head and patted his back secretly happy that Sakura and he had broken up.
"But she was so perfect teme" Naruto whined as his arms tightened round me in a strong hold I knew I could get used to his arms around me.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
She'd always break up with him for someone different constantly and leave me to pick up the pieces and put the pieces back together where she'd jump in and steal him again.
I'd just smile at him and pretend to be happy as he talked about her slowly dying inside. I hated her so much.
I hated her holding unto his arm. I hated it when she kissed his cheek so softly and lied how much she loved him. I hated how much of a sap he was that he'd fall for her all over again.
I wondered why I bothered sometimes but then I'd think of a million and one reasons not to give up.
Everything was so worthless,
I didn't deserve this,
But to me you were perfect.
Naruto wasn't the brightest crayon in the box but the way he cared was so sincere. The way he smiled and how he'd let you know how important you were to him.
He was taller than me by two or three inches with the bluest eyes I had ever seen. They were as clear and blue as the pacific ocean. He had a perfect tan smooth skin with wild blonde hair that much like my own defied gravity.
I'm scattered through this life.
If this is life I'll say good bye.
He's gone like an angel,
With wings let me burn tonight.
"Sasuke I think I'm going to ask her to marry me, she's the one" Naruto said as we walked side to side in the park. He took out a small box that held a diamond ring.
"I... I am happy for you dobe" I lied as I glared at the ring in my palm. It was meant to be mine and he was meant to be in love with me not her. He was meant to love me not her.
"I want you to be my best man" Naruto smiled as he looked up to the sky. "God I can't believe I am doing this" he laughed. "Everyone I am getting married!" He yelled.
Every eye landed on us and someone yelled back.
"Shut up you faggot"
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I really wish I had stopped him from marrying the ugly banshee after all I was his best man. I just smiled and congratulated him and my heart broke when he place a ring on her pale finger.
I see me writing on this paper.
Praying for some saviour.
In a world so, so godless. so thoughtless,
I don't know how we wrought this,
All the love that you brought us.
"To my bestfriend the dobe that's tying himself up in a marriage to such a beautiful woman. May you love never fall out of love and be happy"
He asked me to write the toast to toast him. To wish him luck and so I did and smiled as I read it out still praying for some miracle that would make him see he was making a big mistake.
"I pray no one would come between you two and as you face problems remember you are now one and Dobe if you ever need help I'm here for you"
I had no such luck because when I was done they shared their first dance and I was tempted to throw a knife into her back and rid the world of he because she never deserved him.
It feels like I'm killing myself.
Just willing myself.
Just to pray for some help.
I'd give it all just to have, have your eternity.
Cause it's all that assures me.
It's worth all that hurts me.
I'd give you my heart,
And let you just hold it.
I'd give you my soul,
But I already sold it.
I'd have given him anything he wanted and made him so happy. As I sat in the bar deciding whether or not to take the job offer half way across the country just to be as far away from him as possible.
I wasn't listening to his drunk banter about Sakura and his marital problems. I wanted to tell him how I felt before I left him to die with the pinkette. Life sucker. Not that I'd be surprised if she was a vampire with her white almost albino complexion.
On that day
That day I walked away in December.
I will always remember.
I'll regret it forever.
I never told him how I felt but I did sleep with Sakura the day before I left and he punched me in the face. We argued so much and I told him that she was a slut and he was a moron if he'd take her back.
I remembered him crying as I left without looking back. Sakura's voice in the back ground begging him to stay. Her words were placed to make me look guilty but he caught us with her riding me in his own house on his bed.
I remember blue eyes,
So sad and blue skies.
Turned to darkness and night.
I'm so sick of the fight.
I won't breathe unless you breathe,
Won't bleed unless you bleed.
Won't be unless you be,
'Till I'm gone and I can sleep.
I couldn't sleep that night and I could wait to be as far away from him as possible. So I stayed awake all night and slept on my flight and when I got to my new home. The place was so empty and lacked Naruto. So dull and sad. I could only think about him. How I hurt him and how he must hate me now.
I've gone away,
Seen better times in yesterday
(I hurt myself).
It's hard to say,
That everything will be okay
(I hurt myself).
I've gone away,
Seen better times in yesterday
(I hurt myself).
It's hard to say,
That everything will be okay
(I hurt myself)
Its been a year since then and I think I can move on. I realise how empty my life was without Naruto and I brought him back with me and sakura too.
I opened my freezer and pulled out the decapitated head and kissed it. It was cold because it was in a jar full of chemicals to preserve it.
I didn't feel so alone anymore.
As I laid in bed I poured petrol all round my apartment and lit a match.
Tomorrow would be better. I closed my eyes but not before slitting my wrists with a knife knowing he and I would meet again.
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