Chapter 1: Touka After Kaneki Left Anteiku for Aogiri
I do not own Tokyo Ghoul, nor it's characters. They belong to Sui Ishida.
The story starts with Touka in her room talking to herself.
Touka sat alone in her room above the Anteiku coffee shop, she missed 3 of her shifts already, and Yoshimura was beginning to worry about her.
"Why?" Touka thought to herself. "Why would Kaneki leave? Why would he join those a-holes at Aogiri? Why would he join my brother? What is my brother trying to accomplish?"
All these questions flowed through her mind as she sat, knees resting under her chin.
She missed Kaneki.
She missed the way he always smiled (even when she was kicking his ass). She missed how kind he was to everyone, even when he was dealing with his "Am I a Ghoul or a Human Phase" (god that was annoying cause she had to kick his ass A LOT then). She missed him coming into her room to cheer her up when she was down. But most of all, she missed him. Yes, just him. His presence was enough to make her feel happy, and not make her feel like an outcast to the rest of the world just because she was born a ghoul.
"I-I want him back."
Touka clutched her pillow to her chest, she was crying now.
"No, no I refuse to cry, I refuse to be weak."
Touka threw her pillow brashly and wiped her tears. She knew that if she showed weakness, other ghouls would notice, and take that advantage to overpower her.
"I can't be weak!" She got up and punched her wall with the same strength and force as a sledgehammer. "I can't!" She kept punching until her knuckles began to bleed.
She looked down at her hands in disgust, and cringed when she wiped the blood off with her shirt. "I didn't realize how weak I was."
"Damn them, damn them all, damn every last one of those Aogiri a-holes. DAMN THEM!"
Touka kicked her bed and a pillow went flying. She caught it; it was a rabbit.
"Tch." She threw it on the ground, reminded of the day she faced Mado; both with the mask, and without. She'd killed him when she wasn't wearing it; so he needed to die because he saw her face. But, that was also the day Kaneki wore HIS mask for the first time; but he let Amon go.
"Was it because he was weak?" Touka thought to herself. "Why did Kaneki let that a-hole Dove go?" Touka laughed, "To think, Kaneki let him go and how does he repay us? Hunts us down to Jason's lair and kills every ghoul he sees."
Not that it mattered; he would never care about ghouls. He was just a human, and all humans were ruthless and cruel towards ghouls; except Kaneki. Kaneki tried to understand ghouls, he tried to fit in both worlds the best he could and see things from both perspectives.
Then Touka began to realize something. Yes, she missed Kaneki, but why? What reason did she have for missing him, and wanting him back? What did he do to her that made her long for him?
Was it his innocent smile? His love of books? His flat-out adorableness? His intelligence? His age? The way he blushed that was so cute it made Touka's heart skip a beat? The constant approval and nagging of her friend about him being Touka's "boyfriend?"
Touka clutched her chest. Falling a back, she tripped and fell onto her bed. Looking up at the ceiling, she began to wonder. "What-what am I feeling? Why is my heart racing? Why am I longing for him?"
"Is this, love?"
