Updated version! I don't know if followers are notified of updates as well as new chapters, but if you've already started this story, read first chapter again! Did some major revising here!

Alrighty, my first (ish) Mass Effect story. Not really sure how this will be received, since its a very different concept from many other ME fanfics. But I would love some reviews on your thoughts. Ill be posting a few chapters and if this is received well, then I'll continue.

Few quick clarifications, this is AFTER ME3. Roughly three or four years. Nihlus Kryik, Thane Krios and Mordin Solus are ALIVE! There will be an explanation for that later. Shep chose to destroy the reapers, but through the magic of my keyboard, all other synthetics LIVED. (that means EDI and the Geth) This is a Paragon, Femshep universe. I've yet to decide if she's earthborn, vanguard, ruthless, or whatever. I'll figure that out later as well.


Kiran Velar could not believe what she was hearing. Admiral Hackett had to be kidding. Hackett was either stark raving insane or she was losing her mind. Because the end of the world must've come for him to be standing before her, offering her such an opportunity.

"You want me to do what?" Kiran said in a low tone. Hackett frowned at the lack of respect in her voice, but he decided to let it pass.

"The Alliance Command wants to enroll you into a Personnel Exchange Program with the Turians. You and a few other alliance soldiers are to join their armed forces, and they send some of their men to ours."

Kiran muttered a few obscenities under her breath as she struggled to come up with more appropriate words, but none come to her for several moments. Her mind was buried in a mountain of doubts and disbelief.

"The last one you need in this program of yours is me, Hackett." She finally spoke. "I lost my whole unit on Eden Prime, we-"

"By no fault of your own Chief Velar, you and Gunnery Chief Williams were the sole survivors of your unit, and that isn't due to your incompetence, but to your skill. I know it, and you know it. " The Admiral interjected, crossing his arms and looked out of the window. They were in Kirans apartment on the citadel.

"Even the people I work with do not trust me, the Turians would just trust me even less." Kiran leaned forward and said, the idea became more and more ridiculous in her mind. Hackett was still wearing that monotonous mask he was so famous for, he spoke again, still gazing out into the simulated night-sky.

"Once again Velar, that one is not on you."

"I don't understand your point, Hackett. Pick any other Marine from the line that I'm sure is queued outside your office. Any one of them would be more qualified than me. I'm a Turian for Christs sake!" Hackett frowned at her words, and Kiran's mandibles flicked down in a scowl as he turned around.

"You're not purely Turian, Velar. You're a person from both worlds. You represent the cultural ideology of both worlds, and that is why I want you for this program. It's completely not my wish to force you to do something you don't want to do, but you're the brightest candidate for this thing." Hackett let that sink in.

She stood up abruptly and growled: "I'm not goint to play diplomat for you Hackett. The last thing you'll get from sending me to this program is some sudden understanding from the Turians."

Hackett gave a small nod. "...you're a soldier, and I'm not going to deny it. But I don't want you there as a human's ambassador, Kiran, you go out there to fight their battles and introduce the essence of our race. Turians respect strength and honour. When they see you in battle, they will see a strength and resilience that we taught you. That Humans taught you. We want them to wonder if Humans are really so bad. This program is our first and hopefully last attempt to break the boundaries that have existed since First Contact, Kiran. You must understand what we're trying to create."

"I do understand sir, but you've got to understand. I would be going in there with no kind of safety net. The Turians would see me as a freak. Some joke that the Alliance is trying to pull. I only got into the military and N7 program, because you recommended me. They're going to see that as a weakness, and they're going to use it to try and destroy me."

Hackett mused on that for a moment, but it seemed Kiran wasn't done.

"...I can't even cope with being around your men. After Eden Prime, all the respect I had built up was gone. They used me as a scapegoat, blamed me when their friends didn't return... Doesn't help that that rogue Spectre was a Turian. And then the reaper war came, and I was shuffled aside. Nobody beleives I am a true and capable soldier. How well do you think I'm going to do there, on Palaven?"

Hackett just sighed. The way she talked about Eden Prime... The other marines weren't the only ones who blamed her. She blamed herself. "Kiran, you've done it. You've finished the job and returned... just let the deaths go in peace." Hackett said the same thing his therapist told him when he came back to Earth after the First Contact War like a soulless husk.

"It's much more difficult to do it than to say it, Admiral. I just drown in these images all over again, and the humans stay away from me because of it." Kiran said, dolefully. "They fear me, and I don't blame them for doing so. The Turians would just look at me as a freak, and I again wouldn't blame them if they despise me like they do around here."

"You're resilient and strong, Kiran. You can take the pressure and come out better for it. In time, you could make people respect you, look up to you." The Admiral said earnestly.

"I've been in the Alliance military for eight years, and there is not a single soul who respects me."

"You're wrong." Hackett said with a significant look. Kiran's eyes and mandibles widened, she felt a bit better before her face relaxed to an almost distant mask all over again.

"Thank you, sir. I appreciate it." She said, her voice somewhat flat. Hackett quirked an eyebrow at the change in demeanor and lack of sincerity in her voice, but he didn't have time to question her on it. His Omni-tool beeped.

"I've got somewhere to be. The Program won't start for a few months. I'll be back in this system two weeks from now. Think about the offer, and we'll talk then."

"Yes sir." Kiran replied robotically. Her voice had gone from strangely flat, to a complete monotone. Her body was slack, and she seemed as if she had retreated into her own mind.

The admiral studied her for a long moment. Long enough for the female Turian looked up to meet his eyes. Hackett took in a sharp breath of air as she stared at him with soulless, empty eyes. Kiran looked like she was billions of light years away.

Hackett opened his mouth to ask her what was wrong, but his Omni-Tool beeped again. He really had to go.

"Take care, Chief." He said. Simple, but he meant it. But Kiran made no indication that she'd heard.


When the Admiral boarded the SSV Rainier, he immediately commenced the launch protocols and ordered the pilot to set course for the halfway built battle-damaged structures of the Arcturus Station.

He spent just twenty minutes going through important reports of the construction's progress and certain paperwork about weaponry and food supplies. Hackett laid his stylus pen down, giving up to the desire of finding out what had happened with the Turian back there at the Citadel.

With a quick flick on his keyboard, he handed the command of the Bridge to his Executive Officer, and made a beeline for an elevator to take him to his personal cabin on top of the ship.

As he sat down in front of his private terminal, the Admiral blinked. The meltdown Kiran has expressed back there did not sit right with him at all, he has seen many soldiers returned with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, but her case in his opinion looked much more severe than the rest. His first though had been that she simply didn't take compliments well. But he knew it was a bad explanation.

He pulled up the Operation Chiefs dossier, and began reading. Something soon caught his eye. The Lieutenant apparently had monthly sessions with a psychiatrist. Interesting... Hackett mused to himself and sent off a request for vids of the sessions as well as any notes the doctor might have left in her reports.

A moment later his console beeped as his request went through, and the files appeared in yet another window. The Admiral made for the written notes first, deciding that the vids of such personnel therapy sessions were too sensitive and personal. He scanned through the first few sessions reports written in descriptive memmos, before he found what he was looking for; the doctors official diagnosis.


"Lieutenant Commander Kiran Velar has participated in seven sessions with me, and I've finally gathered enough information to make my conclusion. Kiran Velar suffers from Xenodissociation and Post-Traumatic Stressed Disorder, which is only a catalyst that heightens the first's symptoms. Xenodissociation is, in essence, an inability to come to terms with who or what she is. It sometimes occurs in young Asari. She cannot be identify as any certain race, or perceive herself of being a member of any faculty or group. As a result, she periodically becomes distant, or what I'd like to call disconnected to the real world.

From what I've gathered, it started when she was twelve. Her foster parents (She sometimes refers to them as her 'guardians', another indication of dissociation. When she calls them her parents, she is content and happy, with no signs of the disorder. When she refers to them as guardians, she notably detached and withdrawn with me or my assistant.) Apparently, like I've said before, the dissociation occurred when her foster parents explained to her about her true origin, thus "activating" the disorder.

As I understand, she knew, or had gathered the truth for herself some time before the revelation. But hearing it aloud triggered something. She became withdrawn. Vacant. These effects were short-lived, however. And her parents chalked it up to the normal reaction of a child finding out that they are adopted.

In the period of six years between this event and Lieutenant Commander's Velars' enlistment in the Alliance, there were relatively few incidents in which Velar became disconnected. She described the occurrences as a result of events like bullying, or when her body restricted her from doing certain things that others(humans) could do. It seems like Kiran's parents were unaware of anything out of the norm.

When Velar entered the armed forces, she inevitably began coming into contact with other alien species. Most significantly, other Turians. She described to me the first time she encountered a group of Turians. It happened when she was stationed on Arcturus. A Turian freighter had docked for maintenance, and the troops disembarked then coincidentally ended up in the same bar which Kiran herself visited frequently.

What Velar described to me next was rather vague. She refused to go into details but I surmised that some exchange occurred between her and the other Turians. She said everything turned 'fuzzy and muffled'. And that she perceived words and people around her but to her, they seemed to be almost incoherent. This was by far the longest disconnect that Kiran has described to me - five consecutive days. She also said that she didn't know how she returned to her room or performed her duties. Simply that when she 'woke up' all her duties were done. Her supervising officer told me that she had been distant. Efficient, but cold and absent.

Kiran said that she's unsure of what exactly triggers the disconnects. I've compounded a list to compare the incidents, and I would theorize that they are triggered by events that contradict her preconceived notions of who she is and where she stands. There are likely other minor triggers as well. This is all speculation, really.

I've attached a vid from last months' session. This conversation is probably the only reason why I'm not pushing for some hardcore therapy. It seemed like the disorder does not effect her mentally in any negative ways. Her PTSD on the other hand... If she would just agree to speak to the other survivor of her unit, Ashley Williams, I think her mental health would be much much better. But she refuses to try even calling Williams.

Hers is a curious reaction to the disorder, considering other subjects with the same disorder quickly become depressed or permanently withdrawn. Kiran seems to move in between connected and disconnected quite frequently, and without issue. I wonder if it's an aspect of some passive Turian brain function? If so, perhaps a Turian doctor would be better suited to treat her...


Hackett let out the breath he didn't even realize he was holding until then, and leaned back in his seat. This was a lot to take in. It explained so much though, about why the Turian had reacted the way she did to the Admiral's comment. It could potentially explain a plethora of other things.

Like why the alliance had denied her officers promotion and N7 title, even though he argued to them that she had more than earned it.

Hackett shook his head as a thought appeared at the back of his head on what to do with his new-found information. Time to make a few calls.