Today is the first day Alice left me. Alice Whitlock, my wife, the one who promised to love me for all eternity. I suppose it would be Alice Cullen now, or Brandon. Alice, the one who brought me out of the darkness and into the light, the one whose love I fight to deserve everyday. I guess I failed, because she's gone now. She's only been gone for a day, which should be nothing in this constant, frozen state I am in. But here I sit, painfully aware of every minute, every second she's not by my side.

Time is a funny thing, especially to those who can survive till the end of it. It's been a day, but how long have I been standing in front of this window? An hour? Three? Ever since she slammed that door? I can't tell. The others left the house a long time ago. I could feel their emotions as they went, stronger than ever. Perhaps my body wants to distract me from my emotion by overshadowing it with others, not that it helped. Esme was heartbroken, for Alice's departure and my pain. One of her children has left her, and left another in limbo. Carlisle was sorrowful, yet slightly confused. I'm no Edward, but I can almost hear him contemplating the supposedly great "bond" between immortal mates, and how Alice can just leave. I feel him, I'm thinking the same thing. Edward was highly confused, how did he miss this? Bella, with the trust she places in her husband's ability and her friendship with Alice, was bewildered. Emmett felt sympathy for me, but Rose was outraged. This, to her, is a betrayal to both me and the family. She's not wrong, for when Alice left, she turned her back on all of us Hurt, that's the one thing they all felt.

As much as they wanted to be here for me, to comfort me, they just couldn't handle the amount of pain, misery, and general despair I give off. Their pains, my pain, our pains, reflects back on each other to create an almost unbearable atmosphere. Just as well, I don't deserve their comfort. I'm the one who fucked up. I must be. I must have done something wrong, something unforgivable. I comb through the last month in my head, trying to figure out where it all went wrong. I turn over every sentence, every moment, every breath, as if the reason why she left is hidden underneath. There were confusions, suspicions, and secrecies, of course. That is a part of life when your wife is psychic who likes to handle things herself. Nevertheless, Alice usually involves me in her schemes. Even when she doesn't, she always confides in me in the end. It's the trust we place in each other, the trust I place in her, that makes us so strong. I noticed her odd behaviors, and I trusted for her to come to me, which never happened. Her secrets grew bigger and bigger until it became a tangled mess, a dark cloud hanging above our lives. I grew irritated and angry, as we grew further apart. My trust ruined us. I trusted that we will alway find our ways back to each other, that we are meant to be, so much that I let her slip through my fingers.

Maybe I should have interfered earlier, before she was so far gone. Or maybe I should have just left her alone, keep waiting for her to come to me. Either way, here I am. I'm standing in front of a window, alone. I look towards the direction she took off of, in that bright yellow Porsche of hers. It took me a long time to realized that I'm waiting for her to come back.