AN:
This writing style was inspired by EternallySeventeen. Thanks Sanch!
Written for The Phobia Challenge.
Jump Then Fall
She can't jump; she is not able to jump. That is why she hates jumping. She hates jumping because she can't do it...and she hates not being able to do things. She strivea to be the best, to do the things asked to the best of her ability, to do the things she wants or wish to the best of her ability. But there are two things she cannot do. First, she cannot jump. Second, she cannot deny him.
He and his perfect pout him and his charming smile and just him... why can't you just deny him? Whatever he asks, whatever he wants you are ready to give. He knows that and never ever took advantage of that. He knows the effect he has on you. You know he knows the effect he has on you because he waits below the six feet trench with his arm extended, what can you do but jump in his arms? But you can't jump.
You start to sweat, your palms turn clammy, and your breath comes out in short wafts. Sweat beads form on your forehead as the hair on your neck rise. You can swear your legs are frozen to the place. You go back in time to the day when you said about your catapedophobia in front of every seventh year Gryffindor during a supposed fun Truth and Dare game.
Your best friend's boyfriend, James asks you what's the thing you fear the most and you can hear the sharp intake of breath by almost everyone as silence falls in the previously rowdy common room.
You want to lie but you cannot because of the shot of the Veritaserum you were given when you chose truth.
You mumble about your fear of jumping, catapedophobia. They look disappointed, even Lily. You look at him but he just gives you an understanding look. You know at that moment he has something on his mind.
It is strange, the two of you apparently hate each other, have screaming matches in the Common Room, but no one understands you as well as he does, and he knows that you know the real him.
The very next day, he approaches you as you sit in the Library. You ask him did he even know the way to Library or was he lost. He jokes about following some Hufflebpuff lass but now he is probably lost in a room with so many... books, he says with a shudder. Your guard slips, you laugh.
"Marlene..." He begins. You know that tone; you have learnt the tone by heart. You stop him in mid-sentence.
"Sirius" You begin, you know what he is going to talk about.
He cuts you off with assurances that he can help you overcome the fear. You know that's not possible. You have tried everything. But he literally begs and he doesn't need to try hard so you cave in and say, "Okay, you can try."
He smiles and to you Hogwarts lights up even on that grey, murky and rainy day. You have fallen hard, even without jumping.
He asks you do you know the reason behind your phobia. You nod. He prods you for the reason. Surprisingly, it is easy to tell him what you haven't told anyone.
You were one, playing on the second floor of your house. Your inquisitive self drags you to the balcony. You fall. You could have died, if not for your aunt who slowed your fall and caught you in time. You don't remember it, but apparently you subconscious mind does.
He looks thoughtful and slips into some other world. You return to your homework.
So now, three days later, you stand on the Quidditch Pitch with various ditches dug in it. They are of different depths. He is making you jump with silent prodding.
You stand at the end of the last trench, the one which is 6 feet deep. He is prodding you gently. But you feel like you have cross your limits. He is pushing you beyond your capabilities. Your nervousness comes out in a bout of anger. You scream and shout at him. You expect him to scream back or just back off. But he knows you too well to do that. He smiles a bit sadly. You realize he knows you are scared. You feel vulnerable.
You ask yourself, shouldn't you hate him? It should throw yourself off the edge because you hate him, but it doesn't. Because, in the end, your subconscious mind, the part of brain you hate, knows that beneath the act of hate, there is love.
Because, when he smiles, you see sunshine. Because when he laughs that bark of a laugh, it's better than any music for you. Because when he asks for something with that little pout, you cannot deny... you know why? Because you love him.
You look at him. He watches silently as your expressions change. He is using your last weapon.
"Lene" he says softly, "I did not want to say it this way, I wanted it to be the perfect setting but I think... there is no other way because now I can't hold it back. I love you, Lene." Your brain screams at you not to believe him. But your subconscious for the first time lets you jump and then fall in his arms.
Word Count: 894.
I haven't ever written anything with this style. Tell me what you feel about it. Review! :)
