"Wow. That's... meh. Now, I know why I don't like iced coffee."

"You don't like it?"

"I mean... it's okay... but, you know, hot coffee tastes better, to me."

"Hmm... there is a hot version of this one..."

"Really? Let me see!"

"Hmm..." Lien poured some condensed milk into a cup and added the coffee over it. "No ice, this time."

Alfred could only blame himself for falling into his predicament. He had to ask to check out Lien's culture. Lien quickly realized that by culture, he meant cuisine. It's easy to mix those two words up, being that they both start with "cu" and are two syllables, each. Your author mixes them up all the time, it's nothing to fret about. Maybe ESL learners would have better luck not messing the two up, just from their simple and unfortunate fear of making any mistakes around Americans who think English is the official language of the... wait. This isn't a debate. Oh. Silly me...

"Ooh, all right." Alfred took the cup and let it warm his hands before he took a sip. "There we go. That is... fantastic." He winked.

She blushed softly and forced a smile, lowering her head a bit and looking up at him. "I'm glad... you like it."

"Of course I do! ... for some reason, I thought you guys drank coffee out of bags. I heard that on the Internet, somewhere." The last seven words were quickly added, that he may not look a complete idiot to her.

"No..." She chuckled. "That wouldn't make sense." Dummy.

"Sure didn't to me." He sipped some more coffee, looking quite happy. Dumb, too, since there was some coffee over his lips. Maybe he could pass that off as his bid for No-Shave November. "What did you make for breakfast, again?"

"Bun Bo," she responded.

Alfred heard "Bilbo", at first - he'd just rewatched the Hobbit trilogy - but quickly guessed that she meant "bun", like a type of bread, or, for Beret Guy, a bunny. "... a... bun?"

"Let me show you." She opened that pot to reveal rice noodles topped with chunks of beef, peanuts, tomato bits, and a piece of lemon on the side.

Alfred widened his eyes. "Huh. You sure like your rice noodles."

Lien nodded and smiled softly at him. "Would you like some, now?"

"Sure! Can't hurt." Yes, it could.

"Why would it..." She shrugged it off, not completing her thought, and gave him some in a bowl with chopsticks.

"How do you guys eat this stuff so fast?" This from the American that could eat a whole burger in one bite. In the 1940s.

"We grow up with it, that's how." She kept her smile on, managing expertly not to let out a laugh of any sort.

"Seems legit." Alfred took some noodles, a piece of beef, and some peanuts in his chopsticks and ate it, tasting the lime instantly. "Mm. Tastes... strangely familiar." Do I even like lime?

"Beef and rice? in a bowl at a 'Chinese' restaurant?" She'd been to a few, and been... mildly surprised, each time, mostly not at the menu choices, but at how well the food was prepared, and how dedicated the chefs there seemed to be at every one.

"Yeah. Plus peanuts. They seem more like small bits of nothing, compared to the way I usually eat them." That Planters mascot came to mind, suddenly.

"Really? I don't think I'd ever eat a whole peanut... I never once imagined that's how would one think to."

"Now you know. And knowing is half the battle. G.I. Joe~!" He smirked, leaving her to blush a little. "It's good."

"I'm glad you think so. I usually finish a bowl in under ten minutes, but after at least five."

"Crap. Better hurry." He began to eat a little more quickly.


"It's been ten minutes."

"Dammit. I haven't even eaten all the peanuts."

"You're almost at fifteen."

"Lien! Let me enjoy this! I'm almost done. Man, these small ones are impossible to... Gah! I'm done." He set the bowl down and sighed. "That was pretty good."

She nodded.


"What's for lunch?"

"Pho." Even Lien didn't know how to say it correctly.

"Of course. Could I get chicken in mine?"

"No." She giggled, knowing that the American would either want that on his pho, or beef. Maybe she would have given him just the tendon, to mess with him.

"What?" He tilted his head and frowned. "Lien..." he whined.

"Shrimp!"

"Shrimp? Oh, well... I guess that's okay. You eat shrimp?"

"Rarely."

"Oh." His pupils dilated. Cuss words flowed through his brain.

She set the bowl in front of him. "I'll give you fifteen minutes, this time."

"Come on... fine. This should be easier..." He first sipped the broth with the spoon and immediately picked up the taste of shrimp. "Ooh..."

"What do you think?"

"Shrimp." He sighed. "Okay, here goes..." Alfred picked up a piece of shrimp that was submerged in the broth and ate it. "..."

Lien smiled.

"Ehhhh... it's... this stuff is okay."

"Eat up. You're already down to fourteen minutes."

"Oh, boy!"


He managed to get it done in under ten.

"Did you like it?"

"No," he boomed. "I hate how Fridays at buffet places are seafood nights. I stopped liking seafood in the 19th century, for... bleh..." He sighed. "It was okay. Seafood is okay. I just really wanted chicken with my pho..."

"One wish left not granted can ruin your appetite?"

"Yes."

"Did you like the soup?"

"Yes. Wait, no, I mean..." He huffed. "You're good, you."

Lien chuckled. "I learned it from you."

"Just you wait until you have to eat what I eat."

"After dinner and dessert," she said with a wink.

"I have high hopes."


"Spring rolls with shrimp?" Alfred let out a groan and banged his head upon the table. Ah, if only Lien knew to make a gif of that. The author might actually be famous on Tumblr.

For one post with a couple thousand notes.


"Mm. These are good. I taste bean. Never thought I'd appreciate that for dessert."

"Really, everyone should try banh cam at one point or another." Sounds like exposition to your author.

"Mm-hmm..." He ate a few more.

And by a few, I do, of course, mean all ten.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~helpi'mstuckinatildefactory~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Cereal? This is just bits of flakes in milk." The author read this sentence and clapped at its perfection.

"Frosted Flakes." Corporate America wins again.

"Frosted with what?"

"Sugar. Theeeey'rre grrreeeat!" He didn't have a good impression of Tony the Tiger, but even Uncle Joey might be hard-pressed to replicate that one, either.

"Sure..." She ate some. "Hmm. Decent." Decent, incidentally, is... ah, the- someone, has, umm, just been handed a note telling them to... uh... yeah.

"There you go, you're earning your stripes, now."

"I sure feel... something."


"Cheeseburgers? Of course..."

"And fries... and a large soda... and milkshakes... how could you not love this?"

They'd be more lovable if they were still 30 cents a piece and not ten times that price a half of a century later.

She bit into what they called "The General". You thought two patties was tough? Try three. She stopped mid-bite, almost as if realizing that her tactics had failed miserably.

Alfred stared. "Umm..."

Lien finally bit that piece off and chewed it. "..."

"..."

Her eyes twinkled. "That's... not bad at all."

"Of course not, right?"


"Oh... oh, no."

Alfred's first buffet plate? A cheeseburger. And some fries and vegetables and garlic knots and marinara sauce and cuts of prime rib and ham and chicken legs.

Yes, most of that stuff was stacked on top of the other items mentioned there.

"What's that?" he asked Lien, as if she were dumb.

"Spaghetti..." she responded, rather sheepishly, just staring at Alfred's plate.

He nodded and dug into his first plate.

First.


"So... you go serve yourself more?"

"They call it all you can eat for a reason."

"Not all you do eat..." Her next plate was a sandwich and some dumplings. Yay, Asian food sections in America...


"I can't eat... anymore..." Lien sat back and closed her eyes, sighing contently.

"I can!" Alfred began to eat some cheesecake. His dessert plate also featured some cookies, cream puffs, two pieces of chocolate cake, a piece of carrot cake, and an eclair. There was a dish of two scoops of cookie dough-flavored ice cream and a mug of hot chocolate on the side, as well.

She opened her eyes and stared. "What...‽"

Your author, having used an interrobang in one of seven of this story's chapters, was content.

"What?" Alfred put a fork with some cheesecake, ice cream, and a cream puff into his mouth and ate it rather easily.

"... nothing..." Lien yawned and leaned on him. Alfred blushed softly at that and simply carried on eating until she wrapped her arms around him from the side, trapping his fork-carrying hand under the table. He closed his eyes and decided to try and fall asleep, too, until a waitress managed to wake them both up. The two left, but not before Alfred managed, in under three minutes, to scarf the rest down.


"No, I'm not wearing an áo dài."


The first chapter always sucks. ^^