A/N: There are so many stories about girls lost in Middle Earth here, so we decided to make our own, with a little twist…
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it's not ours…
Chapter One: ArrivingIt was an early morning; Mika was in the middle of daily weighting-ceremony, when the needle on the weight started spinning.
"Huh?"
Mika stared at the needle, and after a short while, became completely hypnotized.
The needle was spinning faster and faster, and Mika was leaning further and further forward, until she fell headfirst into the sink. Then everything turned black.
*
Meanwhile, on the other side of the city, Moni was getting ready for her morning swim in the family's very own swimming pool.
She was in the middle of a dive, when, suddenly, she disappeared.
*
"Groan…"
Chalice flung out her hand in a failed attempt of stopping the clock from ringing, but instead hit something strangely rubbery…
"Ow…" The thing said, then added in a whisper: "my precioussss…"
Chalice was suddenly wide awake.
"EEEEEEK!"
She got up, and started running in circles screaming for help, but suddenly, she realised that there where no reason to run and scream, since the threat now was buried underneath a very unconscious-looking Moni.
And in the middle of this queer situation, Mika came running in, carrying, of all things, a sink.
"Get away Moni!" She screamed, and then started hitting the now very shocked Gollum over the head.
It was now Gollum's turn to run around in circles, screaming for help.
"Um…" said Chalice, poking her friends, "I think that's Gollum…"
"Gollum? THE Gollum?" said Mika, then looked at the others and started screaming.
"EEEEEEK!"
She then joined Gollum in the running and screaming.
"Er…" said Moni
"What?" said the others (including Gollum)
"There's someone watching us…"
"Oh?" said Chalice, and scratched her nose. Then her arm froze.
"Oopsey" she said, looking at her red and yellow pyjamas (with teddy bears on…)
Everyone then started noticing how they were dressed (including Gollum, who was wearing a pink skirt, and had a sink on his head.)
Gollum looked down on himself, and ran of, wailing.
Meanwhile, Moni, was still dizzy, but had managed to notice that she was still wearing her blue bathing suit. Mika, on the other hand, had gone hiding behind a bush, since she'd noticed that she was only wearing a t-shirt and her flowery underwear.
Chalice had gone over to take a look at the watchers. Which was sitting in a pink couch, and eating popcorn, while commenting on what Mika would do next…
"Um…" She said, scratching her nose. "Could we borrow some clothes? I think Moni's freezing…"
She pointed at her friend, who was now waving from one side to another, like she was drunk, and had turned slightly blue.
The watchers looked at one another, clearly reluctant to sharing their clothes with these strange girls.
"Please?" Chalice said, giving them the 'I-know-you-want-to-help-us'-look. "Pretty please?"
"Hmm…ok," said one of the little guys.
"Ooo…who are you, little fellow?" Said Chalice, in the voice you use when you address children.
"My name is Meriadoc Brandybuck," he said, slightly annoyed, "but most people call me Merry."
Chalice eyed him, then his feet, and then the rest of the watchers; she was obviously counting.
"Oh. My. God."
"Huh?" Said Moni, who was now turning purple.
"Um…did you want to borrow clothes or not?" Merry was obviously annoyed.
"Yes, of course!" Chalice said, grinning like a lunatic.
Merry then gave her his cloak and coat. Chalice then throwed them at Moni, who hastily put them on. They reached her to the knees.
Chalice then turned to the tall, blonde guy. Now she wasn't grinning, she was gloating.
"I think she must borrow something a bit…um…bigger"
"Well, not from me! She'll ruin them!" He answered, in a very girly voice.
"I won't ruin them!" Said Mika, from behind the bush, now realising who they were.
"Hmm…ok, but you'd better wash them afterwards!"
He reluctantly gave Chalice his cloak. She then turned them over to Moni.
"Hey!" Said Mika, coming out of the bush.
"Oh, please," said Merry.
Mika slowly walked over, it was a tad difficult walking while trying to pull down the end of your t-shirt, but somehow, she managed. And then she started hitting Merry over the head with a wig she had found in the bush.
Suddenly, they were surrounded by elves. One of them was obviously bald.
"That's mine!" He said to Mika, and snatched it out of her hand.
Suddenly, a tiny voice could be heard:
"Hey! You're the Fellowship!"
Moni was looking (and pointing) wide-eyed at them.
"Duh!" Said Mika and Chalice simultaneously. Then they had to run over and tear Moni away from Frodo.
"Let go! I want his sword!" Moni shrieked.
Mika and Chalice then pointed out to Moni that she was still in her bathing suit. That shut her up.
Merry ran over to the elves and started begging for help.
"We will take you to Lady Galadriel, and then she will decide what will become of you."
"You like being formal, don't you?" Mika said.
The elves only looked at her, and then they started leading the way.
Then one of the elves stopped.
"Haven't we forgotten something?" He whispered to the bald elf.
"Hmmm…I don't think so…"
"Blindfolding?" Said Moni.
Chalice and Mika both hit her over the head, but it was too late.
"Oh, yes! You all have to be blindfolded!"
"Why?" Said Mika.
"We're…um…we're…"
"You're what?" Demanded Mika.
"Renovating," he murmured.
"What did you say?"
"RENOVATING!"
Mika then started laughing like crazy.
"Please do something about that…thing!" Merry said.
"I know just what to do!" Gimli said. Then he scooped her into his backpack.
After a bit of wailing, she shut up, and they moved on.
Then, Moni went over and poked the bald elf.
"Haven't you forgotten something?"
"SHUT UP MONI!"-could be heard from Gimli's backpack.
Luckily, the bald elf didn't hear Moni, since part of his wig had found its way into his ears.
After a mile or so, singing could be heard from Gimli's backpack.
When Bilbo foundThat shiny Ring
In Gollum's cave of gloom
He never thought that it would turn into
The Ring of Doom…
"Ahh!" Chalice wailed, and started bashing Gimli's backpack.
"Ok, I'll sing another," the backpacked Mika said.
(Theme: May it Be)
May it be, a smelly bag
That contains little me
May it be, I'll find an axe
And kill ugly Gimli…
"Mika…" Chalice didn't sound very happy…
"Yesss?"
"Behave yourself!"
"Hmm…ok" It didn't sound much like she meant it, but there weren't anything Chalice could do but accept, and keep a close watch on the backpack.
She also had to keep a close watch on Moni, who was now sneaking up behind Frodo.
Moni was muttering something that sounded like "my precioussssss" and was eyeing Sting with an obsessive look.
"Something will happen soon, I'm sure," Chalice muttered under her breath.
And, indeed, something did.
Suddenly, Mika jumped out of the backpack with a tiny throwing-axe and tried to split Gimli's scull. Unfortunately for her, but luckily for Gimli, he was wearing a helmet.
At the same time, Moni jumped forward, and tried to grab Frodo's sword. But instead, she stumbled, and fell over Pippin.
"Ouch!" Pippin said, trying to get the short, bathing-suited girl off him. But she held on to his sword, hissing: "my preciousss, my precioussss".
"Um…Moni?" said Chalice, "wrong sword".
Meanwhile, Frodo was hiding behind Aragorn, and Gimli was hiding behind Legolas.
One of the elves tapped Chalice on the shoulder.
"Do you mind us tying up your friends?"
"Um…no." Chalice shrugged.
"Traitor!" Mika yelled, while the elves tied her up.
Moni, on the other hand, was still hissing "my preciousss" at everyone, and tried frantically to bite someone's finger off.
*
At last, they arrived at Caras Galadhon.
Moni and Mika was untied, and led into a corner, while Chalice was brought forward to speak to Lord Celeborn, and Lady Galadriel, together with the Fellowship.
Celeborn was just about to open his mouth, when Mika ran forward, yelling, "Auntie Agnes, Auntie Agnes!!" and glomped onto Galadriel.
"Mika!" Hissed Chalice, but Mika didn't hear her.
"Whoever this Agnes-woman is, I'M NOT HER!" Yelled Galadriel.
"Yeah, suuuure, we believe you…" Said Mika.
"Help, someone, help!" wailed Galadriel.
She then put on her glasses, to see whom this strange person was.
"Why are you in your underwear?"
"Because I like it! And look! It's pink and flowery too!" Mika replied, still holding onto Galadriel.
"I will faint," said Galadriel, "someone bring my lala's".
In from a side door came an elf, holding a jar of pills, saying very clearly: "Dr. Pepper's anti-stress pills – an elf woman's best friend"
"Your pills ma'am," the elf said.
"It's lala's!" hissed Galadriel, then emptied the jar.
Then Mika put on her glasses: "Hey! You're not Auntie Agnes!"
"That's it!" said Merry, and threw a bag over Mika's head, from inside, muffled cries for help could be heard, but no one took any notice of them.
"Now," Galadriel said, directing her attention to the fellowship and Chalice, "I know who all of you are," this was interrupted by a "and I know where you live too" from the bag, "except for you," she directed her glare at Chalice, "who are you?"
"Ahem," Chalice said, "I'm a fourteen years old girl, lost in Middle-Earth at the time of the War of the Ring, unluckily, my friends had to tag along…"
"HEY!" – came from the bag, and "Hey…my precioussssss!" - came from the corner.
Out of the bag came a crazed Mika, holding a pair of dirty boxer shorts (hobbit size), which she started bashing Chalice with it.
"EWWW!" said Chalice.
Mika suddenly realized what she was holding, and put them nicely down on Pippin's head.
Pippin quickly took them off, and threw them at a flushed Merry.
"Cough…" said Merry, "I was going to wash 'em."
"Please take her away!" Celeborn bellowed, "lock her up somewhere!"
Two elves then came over and tied (and gagged) her up. Then they carried her away.
Everyone phewed.
"You where saying…?" Galadriel asked Chalice.
"Ahem," Chalice said, "I'm a fourteen years old girl, lost in Middle-Earth at the time of the War of the Ring, unluckily, my friends had to tag along…"
"NOT AGAIN!" screamed Galadriel.
"Again?" Chalice asked.
"You see that girl in the corner (not your friend)?"
"Yes…"
"She came her yesterday, saying the same thing. And you see that girl at the table?"
"Yes…"
"She came her the day before that!"
"I see…"
"And we had to give EVERYONE new clothes, because they all came here in their underwear (or worse…)!"
"Ahem…" Chalice said, a bit confused, "but some of us NEEDS new clothes, like Moni over there".
Moni was creeping towards Frodo muttering, "my precioussss". Then she freezed in her tracks, noticing that everyone was watching her.
Frodo, at that point, was standing in a corner, obviously wishing that he could walk on the walls.
"Someone please remove that…thing!" He said.
Moni then ran over to Chalice, holding her arm and whispering, "keep me safe, keep me safe".
Since they couldn't possible get Moni off Chalice, Chalice just had to follow wherever they were taking Moni, to the place they held Mika, actually.
Mika was then scarily calm.
"Mika, are you on drugs?" Chalice asked, obviously concerned.
"Lalalala!" said Mika.
"I think she is," said Moni.
"Here," said an elf, "put these on".
In the bag, there were three pants, three shirts, and three pairs of boots.
"Um…aren't we supposed to get dresses?" Moni asked.
"Well, we're all out of those, so you'll have to wear this".
"But," said Moni, "I have no underwear!"
"I do," said Mika (and Chalice).
"You'll just have to wear your bathing suit, Moni," said Mika.
Well in their new clothes, they started exploring Lòrien. Also called, looking for a pub.
"Um…is this bar…safe?" Moni said, in front of a sign that said: "The Pooping Pony ".
"Who cares?" said Chalice, "as long as they've got tequila!"
"But…you know that we're underage?" said the always so goody-goody Moni.
"Who cares?" said Mika.
They went on, but were stopped by the door guard.
"How old are you?"
"I'm a hundred years old elf!" Mika said, holding up her ears.
"Hmm…ok"
"And I'm 2046, I just look a bit young," said Chalice.
"Um…ok, you can go in".
"I'm a hobbit!" said Moni, and indeed, she looked like one.
"Hmmm…Moni, you've, um, shrinked," said Chalice.
"Must be all the water and the cold weather," said Moni.
"But," said Mika, "your feet are the same size as they were."
"Go on," said the door guard.
"Wohoo!" yelled the two girls and the hobbit.
