A/N: Fuck Quelana punishing herself, this is the real reason the Lost Sinner is in prison:
It was done. She hadn't ate, slept, and barely breathed for an entire week. Her palms and forehead were sweaty, only the gulp of Estus keeping her from passing out as she blinked her bloodshot, dark eyes, lifting the parchments up from the desk.
"It is done." She trembled, licking her lips and panting, slowly stumbling towards the door as anxious tears streamed down her face, "At long last I have composed it: the greatest symphony Drangleic has ever seen. It's so beautiful." She stumbled onto the stage, looking into the bright lights shining down on her, all the best people in Drangleic in attendance, Vendrick, in his pimpin' black armor asking for some popcorn while Nashandra kind of hung out by him, the king of Venn relaxing with a few concubines while all the odds and ends filled the stadium in the Bastille.
She did a proper, Lordran Era bow, raising her borrowed Staff of Wisdom and starting the show:
The Belfry Gargoyles played the drums with their giant bidents, the skelington lords strumming their harpsichords. They hired a few lion clansmen, in their fine cashmere coats to play the violins, the horns booming from the edges, being played exquisitely by the giants of Heide. The vocals were an assortments of odds and ends, but the hero of the day was the Rat Vanguard himself, Rat King in the stands shedding manly tears at his most glorious of servants.
The orchestra lasted hours, until the composure drew it do a close, everyone giving her thunderous applause.
"Boo! You suck mate!" The composer, with bloodshot, burning eyes looked up to the stand, Patches doing his thing, "Go back to Thorolund wit yer' cleric, ye' hack!" he laughed, the staff of wisdom dropping from her trembling hands as a bloodshot eye crept open, the other darkwraiths joining in, something deep in her fragile psyche hitting the and skipping to lolsalund.
"Shiseiji…" She shouted, exploding into a death aura and whipping out an excessively powerful broadsword, her tired brain going Evangelion berserk mode and vaporizing the crowd with lazers from her eyes, launching into the air and going into an Abysswalker-style flying buzzsaw of death from the air,
"Oh dear…" She hit patches so hard he exploded on impact, completing the whole Evangelion thing by nomming his body, Vendrick sighing,
"Security." She was then Wilhelm rushed by a thousand royal swordsmen, who eventually apprehended her, bound her, and stuck her in a dark, lonely cell to rot forever…
"Worth it."
And that is why the Lost Sinner is in prison and Patches is no longer in Dark Souls 2, stay in school yo! Don't do drugs and don't be a troll!
