Star Gazing

Chapter 1

Guys, I finally got the re-written version up! I hope you like this one!


It was a simple concept. Nothing made you feel smaller looking up at the twilight sky. Being a tiny part of something much bigger and meaningful. Bright, dot-like stars twinkling and shining in the pitch black. Your eyes being able to take in the breath taking sight. Yes, our world was filled with an endless amount of mysteries only waiting to be discovered by the human eyes.

Eren Jeager felt the same. He was just a small human being part of this world's wonders. His dream was to travel and write about the immense landscapes and sights he would later encounter. As a child, he loved looking up at the night sky, his luminous forest green eyes shined at the sight of stars. The boy would always take a moment and close his eyes. Wishing to meet the man he saw in his dreams. He longed to meet the man.

Deciding on his dream was no simple task. He felt like his life and future were nothing but doors. Opening and closing each one that hadn't satisfied him or met his tastes and interests. It finally came to him when he went on a trip with his sister and childhood friend. How he felt so much joy and energy surge through his body at taking in the scene before him. Eren wanted others to feel the same emotions and sensations such as the ones he experience. To know what it was like to feel the fresh rain hit your skin, feeling the sand slip through your fingers and beneath your feet. Smelling freshly grown wild flowers, and seeing exotic animals. All of it. He wanted others to see what he had the opportunity to experience.

Years passed by, his friend Armin and adopted sister, Mikasa, often came to his favorite star gazing spot with him. Growing up with a workaholic mom and temperamental, alcoholic father was hell. Always having to sit in his room, attempting to muffle the yelling with his pillow. His younger sister had a habit to come into his room and bury her face in his chest. She hoped being able to do that would finally silence the fighting going on a floor below the two children.

No matter how quickly time seemed to fly by, the brunette could never get the image of a raven haired man out of his mind. It was if, he was put on this earth for the sole purpose of finding him. He could recall everything about him so easily, despite him never recalling meeting him. His stormy grey piercing eyes. His normal poker face that always graced his features and monotone voice, or the peculiar way he would hold his cup; by the rim and not the handle. His short yet intimidating stature.

The way the man was dressed felt eerily familiar to Eren. A tan jacket, white button up shirt underneath, white pants and brown boots adorning his feet. A logo with a pair of black and white wings crossed. One on the left arm sleeve, and the other on the back of the jacket. Belts and harnesses around his chest, legs and feet. He also couldn't forget his trademark cravat. He remembered the man was one hell of a clean freak. The boy always inwardly laughed at that. The raven would flip out over the tiniest hint of dirt or dust. Yes, he always recalled the fondest things about him.

His nightmares he frequently had were another story entirely. Eren dreamt of enormous man eating monsters roaming around the landscape. Flashes of people getting picked up off the ground or horse, and tossed into the hideous creatures mouth. Blood splattering everywhere, screaming and crying being their final sound before death. The boy literally felt the tattered fabric of the green cape that flowed behind every person. Shed tears as he clutched it in his hands, soaking them with the thick red liquid.

Eren never wanted to have an awful dream as the one where he saw Levi getting eaten, silent tears always slid down his cheeks at remembering his last words to him.

'I love you...'


As the boy said earlier, living with his parents wasn't the easiest thing in the world. The constant sound of yelling and bickering. For someone else this might be frightening to hear and would tell someone immediately, not for Eren and Mikasa. This was something that happened everyday no matter what. Both would run upstairs and do whatever they could to drown out the sound. Eren wished that his mother and father would just get a divorce. Things weren't working out between them, and he and his sister didn't want to hear it anymore. He wanted all the hate, yelling, and fear to go away…

"Mom! Mikasa and I are leaving for school now." Eren told his mother as he walked into her room. Carla was laid down on her bed, clad in pajamas, still tucked in. She had worked another extra shift last night.

His mother nodded, her gold eyes tired. "Alright, have a good day, Eren." She pulled her son into a small embrace and placed a kiss on his cheek, receiving one in return from the tall brunette.

"Thanks, mom. See you later this afternoon. Try to get some sleep and relax, okay?"

"Of course, Eren."

The boy waved goodbye to his mother and gently shut her door. Going down their steps, he saw his sister wrapping her red scarf around her neck. Grabbing their bags, both siblings made their way to school.


"Good morning, Eren."

The boy looked up from his notes he had been studying and smiled. It was Bertholt.

"Hey, Bert. Morning."

The brown eyed boy sat down next to him. "Studying for the test I see. Forgot to do so last night again, huh?"

Eren rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Ya got me, Bert."

"I can only guess you were reading more nature photography and landscape articles?"

Green eyes stared at his friend. "How do you do it, Bert? Just how do you know?"

"You're easy to read."

"Damn."

The taller male laughed. "I heard there's going to be a class project today. Wanna partner up later?"

"Sure. You and I get done pretty easily anyway."

Their teacher walked in, calling for everyone to sit down in their seats. Bertholt got up and went to sit in his seat.

Eren got his things out for class and leaned back in his seat. He really fucking hoped he didn't fall asleep in class again. Mikasa would kick his ass again.


"Jeager."

"What?"

"Jeager?"

"What?"

"Jeager~"

"Bitch, you give aspirin a headache."

"So, Jaeger…."

Eren sighed annoyed. Horse face wouldn't leave him the fuck alone this entire time. He wanted to enjoy his lunch, not shove it in Jean's face to shut him up.

"The fuck you want now, horse face."

"Neigh."

Eren turned around and socked Jean in the face, knocking him back, and flat on his ass. That was the end of that conversation.

Thank the gods no teacher was there. Last thing he needed was another trip to the principal's for fighting with Jean again. Sure, he could get away with a scolding from his mom and sister. It would be horse face that would pay the price. Marco would punish him with no sex, and horse face and his right hand would make up again.

Okay, stop the fuck right there. No need to fill his mind with thoughts of Jean jacking off. Fuck. No.

Eren picked up his bag and went about his way to his last class.


"Eren…I heard you punch Jean again."

He sighed, it must have been the damn horse face that went and bitched to his sister about it.

"Yeah, what of it?"

"Did a teacher catch you?"

"If one did, wouldn't you think I would be in detention instead of walking home with you?"

The raven pulled her scarf up higher, hiding her face a bit. "I guess so…"

"Hey, um, Mikasa, have you heard anything about dad?"

"No…not since he stormed out last week."

"I'm just worried about mom. She's been working extra shifts for the past 3 months. I tried to convince her to let me work, and she absolutely refuses."

"You know how mom is, Eren. Focus on your schooling, I've got it all under control. She won't even let me work."

The boy sighed. "I just hope mom tones it down a notch on the work. I don't want her getting sick again due to exhaustion."

Mikasa nodded, wrapping her scarf around her mouth tighter.


"Eren! Mom!"

Both brunette's snapped their heads up at the sound of Mikasa's frightened voice. The young female came in running. "Dad's back home, a-and, he's completely drunk!"

Luminescent green and golden eyes grew in size. Immediately shutting the television off, the two siblings grabbed their mother by her hands and dragged her upstairs. Quickly getting into Eren's room, the boy slammed his door shut, double locking it.

The brunette pressed his ear against his door, waiting until his father walked into the house. His heart was thumping rapidly, Eren felt nothing but fear in his body clench at him. His mother and sister were huddled on the floor, sitting in the corner. Both females were shaking. Eren could see tears gathering in the corner of his mother's eyes. His hands balled into fists, he hated his father for making his family terrified of him. It was something that Eren still couldn't fathom. Why did his father do this? To get satisfaction that he was the man in the house?

Hearing the front door hit the wall loudly, the boy tensed, as did Carla and Mikasa. Listening to the sound of it shutting, and footsteps dragging up their stairs, the boy held his breath in. Turning to his sister and mother, he held his index finger to his lips, signaling them to be quiet.

Pressing his ear back to his door, Eren could clearly make out the heavy breathing of his father. His eyes widened at hearing a bottle being thrown at a wall and shattering.

His hands were now shaking at this point, out of the corner of his eyes, he too could see his mother and sister shaking. Mikasa had a hand over her mother's mouth, knowing she would more than likely want to go out and force Grisha out of the house again.

Finally, the door to his father's room closed, and could hear his father toss his body onto his bed. The loud sound of snoring residing in the house.

Letting out a shaky breath, Eren quietly stepped away from his door, making his way to the two females.

He crouched down in front of them. "Are you two okay?" He whispered.

Mikasa nodded, her voice hushed. "Yeah, now that dad is asleep, we should be alright."

Eren sighed relieved, "I think it would be wise should you two stay in my room for the night."

Carla placed her hand on her son's knee. "I agree. It would be better and safer."

The boy pointed to his bed. "Mom, you and Mikasa can sleep on my bad. I'll crash on my couch."

"Brother, are you sure?"

"Completely sure. I've slept on my couch before. It's comfortable enough. Come on, you two get in bed."

Helping their mother up, both females gently laid down on the bed, pulling the covers over themselves. The brunette laid down on his couch, stretching his body out. Placing a blanket and pillow his sister gave him, he removed his shoes and carefully set them on the floor.

Shutting his green eyes, Eren fell into a deep sleep.


"Hey, Corporal….I was wondering something…"

The man set his tea cup down, arms crossed at his chest. "What, brat?"

Eren wrung his hands nervously. "What are your plans after we beat the titans?"

"Me? I'll be on the run after this all said and done."

The boy raised a brow. "Why, Heichou?"

"You know that I'm a thug, hell, who doesn't know that shit, kid? I'm a wanted criminal by those fucking nobles, damn pigs want me dead. There's a shit ton of money on my head, brat. I was only forced into this shit place because they needed someone they could easily force into this corrupt as hell Recon Corps. You won't be seeing me around here anymore, kid."

"Ne, Heichou…"

"Hm?"

"Is it…alright if I go with you?"

"Why the flying fuck would you want to go with me?"

"B-Because I know once all the titans are gone…I'll be the last one. I know they won't hesitate to kill me. They won't listen to anyone trying to save me. I don't want anyone getting hurt in the process of attempting to save me. May I please accompany you, Corporal?"

The man stared at Eren. There was a complete risk for Humanity's strongest and hope to be out on the run. It was a bigger chance of them being caught somewhere, and Eren wasn't the most silent person in the world. But, he and kid could go and see this mysterious world. Fuck it, might as well.

"Fine."

"Fine?"

"Did I fucking stutter somewhere, dip shit? I said its fine. You can join me on the run."

The boy smiled. "Thank you, Heichou. I really appreciate it. Thank you!"

"Yeah, yeah." The man lifted his cup and took a sip of tea.

"Eren."

The boy looked up at his captain. "Did you say something, sir?"

"Wake up, Eren."

"Corporal?"

Eren saw as the figure of his captain began disappearing. "Sir?"

"Wake up, Eren."

"Corporal?!"

"I said wake up."

"L-!"


The boy snapped out of his dream. He looked up and saw his sister looking at him with worried eyes.

"M-Mikasa?"

"Are you okay, Eren? I heard you speaking in your sleep."

He sat up, rubbing his eyes. "What time and day is it?"

"It's Saturday. Barely 2 o'clock in the afternoon."

"Where's mom?"

"Downstairs."

"A-And dad?"

"He left early this morning. He took all his things with him."

"What?"

Mikasa straightened herself up. "Get ready and I can show you."

"Alright."

Getting up off his couch, Eren went to his closet and threw on some fresh clothes as his sister walked out.

Making his way out, he saw Mikasa leaning against the wall, her face stoic.

"Come on."

Nodding his head, Eren followed his sister to their father's room. He walked in and saw his sister was indeed right. There was absolutely nothing in there. Looking around, the bookshelf was cleared, drawers were pulled out, no clothing inside. Even the bed was missing the sheets, blanket and pillows.

"Do you know where he went?" The boy asked as he ran his fingers over a framed family picture, one thing his father left behind.

"No. I don't know here. Neither mom nor I do. Perhaps it's best that he left. We won't have to be scared when he comes home now."

"How's mom coping with everything?"

"She hasn't said a word since really. Mom's just been sitting on the couch since we woke up earlier."

With nothing more to say about the matter at hand, Mikasa left the room.

The boy's green eyes continued to trail over the empty, now unoccupied room. Things were going to different without his father alright. Both good and bad.


"So…your father just left like that?"

Eren nodded. He decided that he would go over to Bertolt's and talk to him about all this. His father up and left out of nowhere too. Leaving him with his mother. If someone could really understand him and his mixed feelings about this, it was him.

"How are you feeling about all this?"

The boy sighed. "In all honesty…I just want to know why he up and left. I mean, we all might have been afraid of him, but, damn, he's my father. I have the right to know here he went."

Bertholt placed a hand on Eren's shoulder. "I know, Eren. You just want to know if he's safe. It's all you want, am I right?"

"Yeah…I don't care about his reasons…I just want him safe is all…"

"How's you mom and sister dealing with this situation?"

"Mom hasn't been speaking, and Mikasa doesn't want to know a thing."

"That's to be expected. My mom didn't speak nor wanted to know about my father for a good while. Leave them be, okay? Everyone has their own thoughts and feelings on this. Let them hash them out. I highly suggest you do the same."

"Yeah, maybe you're right. Thanks, Bert. I really appreciate it."

"Anytime, Eren. Anytime."


After leaving his friend's house, the boy went to his favorite spot in the entire town. It was a small cliff, surrounded by trees, lush green grass and fresh flowers. The spot could overlook the entire city. It mainly captivated Eren because he could see the stars bigger and brighter there.

Eren wrapped his arms around his legs, bringing them to his chest. He had a lot of things on his mind right now. What with his father leaving, his mother and sister both not wanting to talk about his matter at all. It might not be the most pleasant time for his family, but, dammit, they had to talk about it. Without their father, things were going to be definitely changing. He'd have to find some way to convince his mother to let him work. She couldn't handle all the bills on her own. It wouldn't be fair one damn bit.

His nightmares and dreams just made his mind all the more confused. There were more bits and pieces connecting to some other life he had no clue about. Was…that another life he lived? No, it couldn't be. It wasn't possible. It might have been his immense imagination taking over once again. There was no way all that shit could have happened before. Things would have been completely different from what they are now.

The boy sighed. Things used to be so clear when he was younger and didn't have all these dreams and theories about it. Just why him? Of all the fucking people in the world, did it have to be him? Couldn't it have been an older adult, someone who already had their life together and shit figured out? Just why the hell should an 18 year old have all this to deal with?

"Oi, brat. The fuck are you doing here?"

Eren turned around and saw a man standing behind him. Raven hair, an undercut, pale skin, white button up shirt, black slacks and black dress shoes. His eyes a steel grey….

….why did he feel like he's seen those eyes before…?

End of chapter 1