Written for a prompt on tfa-kink on dreamwidth.
Rey has her spine straight, determined not to let Kylo Ren see any weakness in her. Her mind is fuzzy from the drug that had been injected in her arm, keeping her from using the Force to do anything useful in her situation. Her arms are tied awkwardly behind her back and must be connected to the wall in some way since it's keeping her upright even though her legs are shaky. She's just thankful that she can hear steady breathing to either side of her. They've obviously been gagged like her but Finn and Poe are alive and that's what matters.
There's a dim light coming through the windows of the room that they're in and Rey closes her eyes, thinking of how just a few hours ago the three had all chattered over each other as they'd entered, talking about the view. They'd been excited for what wasn't a break by any means but wasn't a full-on battle. The mission was to gather information in the crowded city and the three had been glad to do it.
They'd only had a few hours of excitement, a meal together before they'd found out that it was a trap. The First Order troops had surrounded them, knocked them out and tied them up before they'd even had a chance to pick up their weapons.
"You'll be dealt with shortly," one of them had told the three, blasters on all of them and that had been that.
It hadn't been long before Kylo Ren had swept into the room and he looks at the three of them now. Poe is obviously trying to get words out but the sounds are muffled through the gag. "You three should be ashamed of how easy that you were to catch," Kylo says, his voice distorted through his mask but still filled with amusement.
Rey's eyes narrow, anger filling her and while Master Luke has been careful to make sure that she manages and tries to control her rage it threatens to fill her. She hates the monster in front of her and it's not a feeling that she can't hope to make go away. He's irredeemable in her eyes and needs to be defeated. But she can't say anything through the gag and she won't give him the pleasure of hearing her try.
"Nothing to say?" Kylo taunts them, waving away the troopers and they move away, their blasters lowering. Rey supposes they have nothing to worry about. No weapons around, her lightsaber most likely in Kylo's possession and drugged? She supposes that she should resign herself to their defeat now. She's surprised when the fabric between her lips is ripped out roughly with just a flick of Kylo's fingers and she coughs, looking over at the other two.
The gags are still in their mouths, both of them looking over at her with varying degrees of terror. Rey forces herself to remain calm as she looks at Kylo again. "I don't converse with First Order monsters such as yourself."
Kylo lets out a low tsking noise, shaking his head. "You constantly call me a monster and yet I've done so little to you, girl." That makes Rey laugh, a cynical tilt to her lips. "I haven't done anything nearly as bad as I could. You're still happy, still a little giggling girl as you come to a new city with your lovers. Some people have it much worse."
"You've tried to kill me and my lovers dozens of times," Rey snaps angrily, wishing more than anything that she could have Poe and Finn within reach of her. She's gone nose to nose with Kylo before, as have both Poe and Finn, but she feels better with the two close to her. The three are a package deal now and they all work better together. It's why they are on the mission together. "You've killed hundreds personally and thousands through your orders, including your own father. Monster is the most accurate word to describe you."
That makes Kylo laugh and the sound sends a chill down Rey's spine. She doesn't look to either side of her, needing to keep her concentration if she wants to try to figure out how to get out of this alive. "As if the three of you haven't killed? You blew up a base full of hundreds of First Order soldiers. I'm not here to discuss morality with you. I'm here to destroy you."
Rey shakes her head and this time she does glance over at Finn as he lets out a particularly angry sounding sentence beneath the gag. Then she turns back to Kylo, trying not to let her body shake. She's not afraid of death. She's just sad at the thought of not getting to continue the life she's leading for longer. She just wants forever with the two men at her side, with the friends she's made on base, learning from one of the greatest Jedis to ever live, in her opinion.
"Just do it then," Rey responds and she's proud of the fact that there is no waver in her voice. If she's to die then she'll die with dignity. "You've done it to so many before, our death won't even matter will it? So go ahead. Strike us down. I can speak for all of us when I say that we're not going to bother begging you."
There's affirmative sounds on either side of her and she takes a deep breath, preparing as Kylo pulls out his lightsaber. She refuses to close her eyes even as she wants to, hoping that he'll make it quick. But Kylo doesn't turn on the lightsaber, surprising her. There's that amusement back in his voice as he speaks again. "I don't plan on killing you, Rey. Supreme Leader Snoke still hopes to have you join us before the end of the war. No, I plan on killing only one today."
"One?" Rey asks and it's only because the sentence is so short that her voice doesn't shake. The two men to either side of her are silent as they try to comprehend it just as much as she is.
Kylo inclines his head. "One. I plan to kill one of the men whose company you seem to enjoy so much. Will you tell me why you love them? Love is such an elusive emotion to me. I can't seem to understand why anybody would do the stupid things that people do in love."
"Of course you don't," Rey responds, her mind running wild as she thinks about what Kylo is saying. He only plans to kill one person? Why? "Love is too pure for somebody like you. Love is… wonderful and acceptance and safety. You'll never understand."
Kylo shrugs a shoulder dismissively, twirling the hilt of his lightsaber between his fingers. The movement is so casual that Rey can't help but pull against her ropes, wanting so badly to just wrap her fingers around his neck. She doesn't need her lightsaber. She'll kill him bare-handed, his weapon be damned. "I won't ever understand but that's alright. Who wants to put themselves in such a position of weakness?"
Rey grits her teeth, swallowing hard. "It's not weakness. But that's something that you don't understand."
"But you're going to understand that it is. Because I don't know who I'm going to be killing today, girl. You're going to decide for me. Which one of your lovers gets to feel the heat of my blade?"
The world that she's on tilts. That's the only explanation for the feeling in her body, the immediate pulse of her heart, her head. It has to be a cruel joke. Such a thing is too sadistic isn't it? Why would he torture her this way? But then she realizes that it's just the kind of thing that he would do and she feels her stomach threaten to revolt. She has to swallow hard, staring straight ahead even as both men make pained sounds.
Rey can hear the grin in Kylo's voice even though she can see no emotion through his mask. "Now do you see where that weakness comes from? Don't worry. I'll make it easier. Your lovers can try to make a case for themselves."
There's the sound of fabric and Rey knows that Kylo has torn the gags from the men's mouth just as he had hers. She can't look over at them, though, can't bear the thought of seeing either of their faces. They're silent so long that Rey wonders whether the gag really is out, Kylo waiting with feigned patience in front of them.
"It's alright, Rey," Finn says, sounding so calm that a cold feeling slides through her body. "It's alright. Just choose me."
Poe lets out a groan and Rey can hear the sound of him struggling against his ropes. "No! The both of you deserve to live. I had a fantastic childhood and ten more years of life than the two of you. Rey, you both deserve to live, to have happiness. He can kill me."
The fact that they've both simply given up makes Rey hurt even worse and she closes her eyes tight enough that she sees spots. She tries to think frantically but she still feels that fog in her mind. No weapon on any of them, no way to move. If they do somehow manage to get out, Kylo has his lightsaber and hers and the troopers still have their blasters. It seems hopeless. But Rey isn't willing to choose.
She lifts up her head and stands straighter again, taking a deep breath. "I'm not going to play your games, Kylo Ren. I love the both of them and maybe you consider that a weakness but it's my weakness. I refuse to choose."
"I expected that would happen," Kylo says, sounding unconcerned and he crosses his arms, leaning casually against the wall. "That's why if you refuse to decide then I'll kill all three of you and everybody in this hotel. I have troopers scattered in every room. The second they hear the word, they'll open fire."
Rey's face distorts into a look of horror and she doesn't understand how anybody raised by General Organa can be so cruel. Tears prick at the back of her eyes and both of her lovers talk, trying to be heard over the other but she ignores the both of them. How can this be happening right now? "Kill me then," she whispers.
The sound of the men protesting is interrupted by Kylo declining. "No. I told you that we hope you'll still be useful. It's one of them, girl. Your time is ticking."
It's not fair, Rey thinks. For the first time, she has so much love in her life and she's expected to choose to rid herself of part of that love? Almost subconsciously she raises her head and looks to the right. Finn's eyes are wide, his head shaking as he tells her that it's alright. He keeps telling her over and over that it's alright but it's a lie. He's the first one who ever asked if she was okay, the first one who ever came back for her.
Finn is the first friend that she ever had in her life and the first man that she ever let touch her without threatening to cut off their hands. He's so protective of her while acknowledging that he can handle herself. When he holds her hand, when he pulls her close and hugs her, she feels safe. He's the light in her life, the man that she has dreamed of having her entire life but never letting herself believe that she could actually have.
Then she looks to her left. Poe looks more panicked than Finn had, telling her that she has to choose him. It makes her heart swell with love for him and she thinks it perfectly resonates the kind of man that he is. When she'd been close to Finn almost immediately it had taken longer with Poe but her love is just as strong.
She would never have dreamed of loving somebody like Poe but he's everything that she had hoped to know someday. His love and passion for life are a constant source of inspiration for her. He's the sunshine that makes her day bright. When she's upset, she goes to Finn to hold her but she goes to Poe to make her smile again. He's the man who keeps them together.
She loves the both of them and the thought of losing either of them make her want to curl in a ball and hide from the world. The best part of her day is the two of them in it. When Finn brings her a cookie that he'd saved her from his lunch, just to see her smile because neither have had an abundance of sweet things in their life. When Poe pulls her aside when she should be meditating, telling her she looks beautiful and kissing her until they're both breathless. When the three of them are together, their bodies fitting together as if that's what they're meant to do. How can she live without either of them?
"I'm waiting," Kylo says, interrupting her thoughts and she lifts her head, his mask blurring through the tears in her eyes. If his stance is anything to judge, he's unaffected by her emotion. "Which one is it? Who do you love more?"
Rey shakes her head and a few tears fall. She thinks of the fact that she has to choose one of them to die. In the back of her mind, she thinks of her parents, thinks of them leaving her in the hands of Unkar Plutt on Jakku so many years ago. They'd promised to come back. This is something that won't have that same promise. Just like her parents had never come back due to their death, neither will the one that she chooses.
"I can't," Rey whispers because it feels as if she'll be torn apart. If Kylo had only threatened to kill the three of them she would almost take that option. Better for her to die with the both of them than to have to choose between the two men she loves more than her own life. But she can't let so many others die just because she loves them.
"Hmm. I wouldn't have expected you to let a whole building die but it doesn't bother me," Kylo says, lifting up a hand as if to signal the troopers.
"Stop!" Rey breathes because she can't let that happen. She's crying openly now, unable to stop the tears, the pain that's making breathing harder. How can she lose one of them? "Don't you have a heart? How can you do this? Please! Please don't make me choose! Kill me if you have to. But don't make me choose."
Kylo lets out an impatient breath, taking a step closer now. "I am sick of this, girl. I won't wait any longer. You choose now or everybody dies. I don't have all night."
Rey looks between her lovers, sobbing and she wishes that she could be holding them right now. All she wants is their comforting arms around her. All she wants is for the three of them to be safe and away from here, cuddled up in bed like normal, bodies entwined. Her breaths are catching and the both of them are trying to soothe her and she tries to think. What can she do?
She has to choose, though. Poe is begging her to choose him, talking about how they both have to live, to experience. Finn's telling her that it's okay to choose him, that it's going to be okay. Both of them are promising that they love her and that makes her body shake in a sob. Tears stream down Finn's cheeks but Poe is stoic even though she can see the sadness in his eyes.
Her fingers clench into her palms hard enough that she knows that she's drawn blood. She's panting with the effort to breathe. "I choose-" She can't choose. She can't. The both of them have to stay with her. They love each other. How can they be separated?
But she knows which one she has to choose. She can barely stand the thought of being separated from either of them. She doesn't know if she'll get through it but she knows that it'll destroy them. She can only hope to choose the one that it'll destroy more. If she has to choose to let one of them die, she'll choose to hopefully let the other be as happy as possible.
"I choose Finn. I'm so sorry. I love you so much. I'm sorry. I love you," Rey sobs out, her body shaking.
To her side, Poe immediately gets louder. "No! No, Rey, no! No, Finn!"
Rey can hear as he professes his love for the other man and she looks over, meeting Finn's eyes. There's a certain sense of peace in them over the decision and she thinks that she made the right choice. Her heart is breaking as she looks at the other man but he shakes his head.
"It's alright," Finn says one more time. "It's alright. I love you both. I love you."
Kylo nods and flicks on his lightsaber. Rey wants so badly to look away, can't stand to watch but she needs to keep her eyes on Finn. The former stormtrooper looks between Poe and Rey, a sad smile on his lips. The buzz of the lightsaber shocks Rey as she realizes that Kylo isn't approaching Finn and a scream rips from her throat as the man's lightsaber slashes across the man on her left.
Poe's pain is nearly as loud as hers in her head, his mouth opening in a silent 'o.' He goes limp against his bonds, his breathing slowing in a way that terrifies Rey. His chest still rises and falls with painful sounding breaths but the agony, the thought of the blade cutting anything fatal, it all is enough to make Rey scream again.
"No!" Finn yells, struggling harder against the bonds than he had before.
Rey abruptly cuts off her scream as Kylo laughs. This can't be happening. She didn't just watch Poe get killed in front of her. She can't have just lost one the men that she loves so much. "You said-"
"I said that you would learn about your weakness, girl," Kylo snaps in response, eyeing the work of his blade and then pointing the saber at him again. Poe's still breathing shakily, the wound on his chest holding Rey's focus. She can't look away, knowing that it's partly her fault. "And now you know. You're weak. And you will feel this pain every day for the fact that you let yourself love. Now, should I stab him? Or should I let him suffer in agony? Would you care to make another choice?'
Rey forces herself to look away from Poe, shaking her head so hard that it hurts. "No! I'll kill you. I am going to kill you, Kylo Ren. I will make sure that you suffer for this!" Rey yells, anger making it hard for her to speak.
A shrug and then Kylo turns to the troopers, giving them a gesture and they head out of the room. "I'd like to see you try, girl. Remember this as you watch him die in pain. Perhaps it'll fuel the hate in you enough to join us."
They all look towards the door as the sound of blaster fire fills the air almost as soon as the last trooper leaves the room. Kylo straightens further, lifting up his saber in his hold. Rey lets out a choked sob as the door opens with a crash, Resistance troops filling the room. Luke leads the charge, his blade immediately meeting Kylo's in a fierce battle.
"Poe! You've got to- Please!" Rey begs as three of the soldiers move forward to untie them. She stumbles as she's released from her bonds, immediately moving towards the other man. The troops are gentle but his body is lax as they lift him up to take him through the room. Rey turns to Finn, fire in her eyes. Whether Poe is still alive right now or not, she's going to join the fight. She can mourn later.
Her hand reaches up, wiping away the tears and she doesn't care that she has no weapon. She'll kill Kylo with her bare hands, she thinks as she tries to move forward, stopped by Luke. "Now isn't the time. Go, Rey. I'll take care of this," the older man tells her.
Rey wants to argue but Finn grabs her arm with a firm hold. "Come on. Rey, you can't do anything. We can't leave Poe now," Finn whispers and the words send shooting pain through her body. So much of her wants to fight but Finn is right. More of her wants to be with Poe right now.
The two stand close as they go down the elevator, one of Finn's arms around her waist, steadying her. The battle between troops is as over on the first floor as it had been on the top, the Resistance having the element of surprise. Rey is sure that the battle between Kylo Ren and Luke is still going on but she selfishly doesn't care besides the need for revenge. The galaxy could be hanging on a thread right now but Poe is what she cares about.
The love she feels for the man threatens to overwhelm her and she has to reach up to wipe tears away again. She wants to believe that he's going to survive but it's such a slim chance. People have died from less, she knows. But people have also survived being hurt worse and that's the hope that she clings to.
"Finn, about choosing you-"
"Let's not talk right now. I just want to find out whether Poe is okay," Finn says, giving her hip a quick squeeze to let her know that he's not angry by the attempted conversation. He sounds weary, his throat raw from yelling and crying.
Rey knows that he's just upset, just as she is. Leia is outside the building, directing troops and she inclines her head when she sees them, a sad look on her face as she gestures them forward. "Poe is being treated. There's a chance. Don't lose hope."
Not losing hope is harder than it seems. She lets Finn take her towards the building that the medical unit has been set up in and when she sits down next to him, resting her head on his shoulder, she thinks that it's probably for the best that she's not fighting. Her head is too full to even think about being able to fight with any effectiveness.
Her mind wanders as she half dozes against him. She hears the results, hears that Kylo Ren got away again but that Luke had wounded him. It's nothing to her. She is determined to kill Kylo Ren herself. She just has to be given another opportunity. Finn holds onto her, speaking to the others when they're asked about their experiences. Rey refuses to speak, simply can't, even as Finn talks about how she had to choose in a halting voice.
When the soldier nods, expressing his sympathies and walking away, Finn turns back to the other woman. "Why did you choose me?" he asks quietly.
Rey forces herself back to reality, her body heavy. She's laying half in Finn's lap, her cheek on his shoulder and her face pressed towards his neck so that she doesn't have to face the world. She can't bear to face anybody right now. The medic team has told them that it's unlikely that Poe will survive but they'll do what they can. They've told the two that it's lucky he didn't die immediately. Rey had closed her eyes and pressed them to Finn's shoulder, making her head ache because lucky? They had different ideas of it.
Knowing that the man deserves an answer, Rey swallows, reaching out to tangle their fingers together. "You've been through so much. If I could've chosen somebody, I would've chosen myself. I couldn't bear the thought of losing either one of you. But I thought that Poe would stand it better. He's dealt with loss like his parents and he's gotten through it. I thought it would be… kinder to choose you."
Finn nods and she glances up at him, seeing his thoughtful expression. Noticing her gaze, he leans in to press a quick kiss to her lips and settles against the uncomfortable chair again, pulling her closer. "There's no use thinking about it now. We can only hope for him to be okay. I survived an injury nearly as bad as his. And we know that Poe's a fighter."
It seems that Finn is trying to convince himself more than her but Rey wants to believe so badly. She has a bad feeling about the situation but she nods. She'll wait here until the medic team tells her either that hope is lost or that Poe is okay. Maybe even after. And then she's going to kill Kylo Ren. "I love you," Rey whispers.
"I love you too," Finn responds immediately, although he sounds so much sadder than he normally sounds when he speaks.
There's no more needs for words after that and Rey closes her eyes, imagining that Poe will be coming out, laughing and tumbling into their arms anytime soon. She imagines what she'll have to tell BB-8 when they get back to base and her heart clenches. She'll make Kylo Ren pay for this. Love will be the strength she needs to truly defeat him.
