Live the life you want.
Chapter One
"I'm very sorry, Ms. Fabray, but it appears you have leukemia." Dr Hines choked out, feeling sorry for the blonde he described as "hot".
"Leukemia?" Quinn said rather calmly, but with a rapid heart beat. "But that's cancer."
Quinn was sitting in a blue gown on a medical table when her doctor had announced her condition, the reason why she had been so pale, nauseous, and experiencing horrible abdominal pain and muscle weaknesses over the past week. As the doctor had predicted, Quinn had cancer…cancer.
The teenager suspected something wrong with her body, after her frequent running around the corner was enough to completely wear her out. The result being that she was short of breath, in a heavy sweat and the pit of her stomach always ended in an unbearable jumble of twisted knots.
Sam sat in a plastic chair beside her and shivered tremendously, fingers trembling, with a scared voice that ignored its urge to escape. Just hearing the word "Leukemia" and knowing it wasn't a joke, had Sam in an instant panic. His girl had cancer, very bad cancer, and there was no way of him curing it or feeling her excruciating pain.
Sam gazed deeply into Quinn's bright green eyes, filled with hurt unshed tears, and then turned to Dr. Hines. Lips quivering, he said, "What exactly is that?"
Dr. Hines surveyed Sam and took a deep breath, preparing himself to unravel the diagnosis to the two blondes. "Leukemia is cancer that starts in the bone marrow, the soft spongy tissue inside the bones. As the marrow starts working abnormally, it creates leukemia cells which grow faster than normal cells and continues to grow when they shouldn't. Eventually, these cancerous cells can spread to lymph nodes and vital organs. They can also impact normal blood cells and cause anemia, infections and bleeding." The lean olive man with shaggy bright ginger hair threw a glance at Quinn and Sam as he showed them a diagram of the cells and pointed out what happens with abnormal ones. Quinn nodded slowly to his truly informal words. Sam gulped. "Normal bone marrow makes the white blood cells, which fight infections, red blood cells, which carry the oxygen through your body, and platelets, to help form blood clots. Leukemia cells are basically abnormal white blood cells although they don't do the work of normal white blood cells which as we know is to help you fight infections."
This is scarier than having a pelvic exam,Quinn thought, information now scaring her. She was calm at first, sincerely sure that she was going to be okay, that she was a fighter, that she was going to power through it and show everyone she has the ability to still smile when very sick. Her thoughts were crushed. No way in the world am I going to "Power through this".No way!
"And how do you cure it? Chemotherapy?" Sam asked, running a hand through his blonde bangs and hoping Quinn wouldn't go through a ton of medical stuff: things she and him himself wouldn't be able to understand.
"People with leukemia have many treatment options. The options are watchful waiting, chemotherapy, targeted therapy, biological therapy, radiation therapy, and stem cell transplant. Sometimes a combination of these transplants are used. Because Ms. Fabray here has Chronic Leukemia, we won't do treatment right away, we'll do watchful waiting. When it is needed, it can often control the symptoms and the disease. Chemotherapy is usually the best option for this type, but it has a defect of hair loss. Stem cell transplants may also offer a cure."
"Will Quinn have to stay in hospital the entire time, or just for treatments?" Sam was now scared for Quinn. It was freaking the hell out of him and the pain inside was ticking off like a dynamite, shaking all his limbs. The look on his girlfriend's face seemed somewhat understanding. How the fuck is she not freakin' out about this? This stupid cancerous disease is inside her body and I'm the one shit scared about it,Sam thought, hands sweaty and brow raised. He just wanted to go home.
"Well, I can't tell you the specifics yet, but all I know is that Ms. Fabray will be very fond of the cancer ward."
"I know this is a dumb question, but will I still be able to have children after the therapy is done? If I survive?" Quinn stammered.
Quinn had never voiced her wishes to produce children to anyone. After Beth, the horrifying experience of a watermelon popping out of her vadge, left her with saying, "I'm not having anymore children. It hurts too much!", but she knew Sam wanted to be crowned "Father" and she most definitely wanted to pursue that dream. Quinn had thought of dying in her head. She always pictured hers, calm, peaceful, and easy going; with the ones she loved surrounding her. Like in "My Sister's Keeper", if Quinn was going to die, instead of doing so in her mother's arms; it would be Sam's strong muscular arms around her with his lips kissing her blonde curls.
Sam longed for her not to think like that. Rolling his eyes, he said, "Quinn, you are not going to die. Don't say 'If'."
Dr. Hines looked at Quinn curiously. "No, Ms. Fabray that is not a dumb question. Actually, patients ask me this all the time," The ginger fiddled with his thumbs and took a deep breath. "You'd have to wait two or more years after remission to ensure that the baby is safe from the risk of you relapsing. But if this is something you and Mr. Evans truly want, we will do anything possible to make this happen."
Dr. Hines discussed with them the options they had. Quinn was past shocked stage, and on the verge of tears, ready to go home and weep her eyes out. Sam asked a few more questions and then set up future appointments. Dr. Hines smiled sympathetically and left, after scheduling Quinn in. Quinn quickly got changed out of her gown and into her white sundress, pinning her fringe back with two bobby pins and protecting her feet with gold ballet flats.
Leaving for home, Quinn thought of how she would announce to her mother that she was living with Leukemia.
