Guardians' Requiem
Clarification on the rating, It's M for language you'd normally associate with Homestuck, and I rated it this way to stay on the safe-side.
I don't own Homestuck.
"Who do you think we are?" Shouts the character on the television.
It's the Strider household, undergoing their proud family tradition "Tengan Toppa Gurren Lagann"
A young man reclines on his couch, his brother next to him, and an odd orange puppet propped up on the couch end.
Both he and his brother wear a pair of pointy sunglasses, similar to the hero on the television in front of them.
The table between them and the television contains a few glass bottles of Apple-Juice and a box of Pizza Hut Pizza, which the two are currently eating.
They get to the episode where Kamina, the wearer of their pointy shades has had his chest pierced and he lays dying.
"this is the scene that makes you cry, eh bro?" The younger Strider, Dave says.
The older Strider, face stoic as ever says, "Sure thing little man, behind my awesome eye-wear is two long streams of liquid black sorrow, all over Kamina."
"is that why we wear these things?" Dave asked indicating their shades.
"Nah bro, it's out of respect for Mama Bravo, the woman has to deal with Johnny everyday, so she's the ultimate badass," Bro says.
"true that," Dave says.
"Alright, it's time to go to bed," Bro said
The episode had just ended.
"we gonna watch one more?" Dave asked.
"No, you've got school tomorrow," Bro said.
In spite of this, the two continued to sit and watch the next episode.
"And, Little Bro went to bed, I tucked Cal in, and then I was out like a light," Bro said aloud.
The room shifted, the food and Dave disappeared, Bro remains alone, the TV off, the box-set of Gurren Lagan sitting in front of him on the table. He has his hands folded, leaning his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped in front of his mouth. He'd assume this position, and position the light at just the right angle to make it reflect of his shades in a sinister way.
"This was my truly ironic impersonation of Gendo Ikari I knew it made Dave squirm, especially that time I rigged Dave's computer to show a giant naked picture of Rei with her brain half exposed. Good times," Bro said aloud again, "I was big into Anime back then, Gurren Lagan, FLCL, and the rest will always have a place in Casa de Strider."
"This was the time I asked if he wanted to do our family tradition again, and shoot through some old DVDs, like when he was younger," Bro sighed, and leaned back on the couch, "He said 'nah,' I guess he's not into this stuff anymore."
Bro smirked, "He probably out grew this stuff, way before his big bro ever could, you think?"
He turned his head to his guest, sitting off in the corner of the room, figure in shadow.
The guest only nodded.
The room shifts again, to the time where he had ambushed Dave when he came home from school by sending a flurry of smuppets at him. Dave deflected three, before the soft puppet ass overwhelmed him. A scene played out where Dave challenged him to a rap battle which they both treated seriously to the point of keeping neutral faces and saying "that's cool," the nonchalance attempting to convey their irony. Dave was utterly dominated by the battle, and the slight twitches of his mouth could show the frustration well enough in the aftermath.
"Poor Dave, always doomed to be in his big bro's shadow," he said.
The room shifts again, this time, they are in the medium. The figure stands, allowing the chair behind her to vanish. Minions swarm around Bro, and he effortlessly runs through them, slicing and cutting at every opportunity, until they're all just grist and other raw materials.
"Damn, I really am that good aren't I?" Bro asked, the statement itself was an insincere display of self-confidence not meant to be taken seriously or at face value, but really to convey his level head in the situation, a true use of Strider brand irony.
The scene changes once again. Strider the younger is an orange part person-bird creature, and his Bro fights a black carapacian with wings, a single arm and a saber.
The battle is going well, Strider the senior tangles his puppet in Jack's wings, while Strider the junior stab shim through the back. This allows his older brother to flash step in, remove Cal and kick Jack in the face.
Bro and his guest watch the scene from the background.
"Ah this, my greatest triumph, the ultimate display of my badassery is about to come up. For truly it's an epic conclusion that will leave you stunned," he said to the guest.
Jack began changing, his body glowed green, his wings morphed, and his head became canine like.
He was more powerful now, easily able to elude the two Striders, he teleported behind Davesprite and brought his sword down, cleaving off his wing.
The orange bird-man-sprite let out an agonized scream, and soon his brother was beside him, landing several blows on Jack, all of which did nothing.
Davesprite and Bro flanked Jack, who sliced Davesprite in the stomach, and smacked Bro with a flashing green wing.
Bro went flying, his sword flying in the air.
Jack grabbed it and hurled it; spear like at Bro's form as he hit the ground. The sword pierced his chest, impaling him, and killing him.
The alternate-ghost(?) brother stared in shock at his guardian's death. His own severed medallion lying near his brother's form, slowly accumulating blood.
"Bro?" Davesprite asked.
"Gaze in wonder, ghost-bird-bro, the conclusion in all of the epicness it has thus acquired," Bro said
Jack turned to him, but Davesprite had already absconded through the green fire. Jack didn't care, he had better things to do.
"AW, no, no!" Bro yelled, "That doggy bastard's taking my shades? My rad, rad shades, why?!"
Jack flew away, taking Cal with him.
"He took Cal too, this guy really knows how to stick it to a corpse doesn't he?"
The two stood there, no one but Bro's corpse remained on the battlefield, as the fire erupted all around them.
"Well, shit, I'm dead, what now?" he asked his guest.
He turned to the green robed woman, she had grey skin and two horns atop her head. His guest finally spoke.
"Your story has ended, and I am sorry for it. You were just a supporting player in the grand scheme of things, but your brother will continue on in your place,"
"Show me," Bro said, his expression unreadable.
The scene changes once again, they are in the same place, but the fire is out, and Dave stands above his brother's corpse.
After failing to break his sword, Dave now lies face first in the dirt.
"Haha, unbreakable sword is as much of a bitch as ever it seems," Bro says, a small smile on his face.
He sighs and walks over to his brother, he puts a hand on Dave's shoulder, which he cannot feel.
"john's a hero, my bro was, i'm not," Dave said.
"Kid, I don't know about your nerdy friend, but you're not the one lying here with his sword through him like a motherfucker," Bro said, "So… don't sell yourself short,"
Bro sighed, his face conveying one of the few emotions he hadn't faked for an ironic effect.
"Get going little man, the universe needs you, not some dead guy. Give 'em hell,"
The scene fades away. Bro makes a request to check on the alternate version of his brother.
He witness's Davesprite cover his wounds with bandages, trying to keep the orange blood inside of himself. Two streaks of orang escape from under his glasses, and Bro asks to go now, confident that the weird alternate Dave is safe.
"Right, so what happened after that?" Bro asked the woman.
"Far too many things to show you, but I will take you to see your brother as he is now,"
The area around them changes, the colors swirl and morph. Bro could compare it to a painting, a Van Goh, or something artsy like that, but no, he compares it to the spin art kit he once got Dave when he was a lot younger (wouldn't be the first spin device they'd get into).
They are now in a room, a few books, computers, and other pieces of machinery line the area. Dave sits at a table, papers and pencils surround him. He's got a pair of Headphones on, and he's humming the beat to himself as they're hooked up to the computer. He's writing lyrics down, trying to match the beats to the words.
Bro stands in the background, with the woman, looking on.
"Those red PJ's have to be the sickest thing little bro's ever had in his wardrobe," Bro says in a monotone that makes his level of sincerity hard to judge.
He looks over his younger Brother's shoulder at the paper, numerous lines and words have been rewritten there are scratched out words everywhere, and there appears to be a phallic shape crudely drawn at the bottom.
Dave was talking to himself; a habit that had not gone unnoticed when they'd lived together.
"maybe putting orange in there's the truest way to master rhymes. rhyming the unrhymable, frikkin genius,"
Bro noticed the lyrics incorporating Obama.
"Atta boy Dave, don't stop the destruction of pop-culture stop you from making pop-culture references," Bro said, "Those beats look ill, they're sicker than Europe during the black plague. They're bring-out-your-sick-dead-and-avoid-their-boils-and -shit ill, that's how ill they've gotten."
Bro smiled, "Dave's going to be all right, aint he?"
"He and his friends have found a good measure of success in their endeavors to beat the game," the woman said, "They have escaped, but they will be here for about three years."
"Damn, if it were me, I'd go total crazy, talk to myself everyday," he said.
"We'll be leaving soon, is there anything you wish to say before we depart?" she asked.
"Well, shit," Bro said, "These are my last words ain't they?"
He thought for a moment, then turned to Dave and said.
"Dave, I know you can't hear me, but," he sighed, removing his rad shades, "From one epic samurai rapper ninja to another, I'm proud of you. You ain't going to grow up to live alone with nothing but ill beats and phallic puppet shit to make art, which you know is fake, but everyone drools over in their ignorance, and you can only laugh quietly to yourself at them taking shit so seriously. You're a tried and true badass now, and if being stuck here don't make you crazy, I want you to go grab what ever comes at you by whatever alien reproductive junk they're got, and just fucking wale on them, K?"
Dave continued to nod his head to the beat.
"Stay cool little man," Bro said, replacing his shades, a single tear of clear salty sorrow escapes an eye.
"Alright, I've said all I gotta say, let's bounce," he said to the woman.
She turns to leave, gesturing that he follow. They pass the other occupants of the meteor, Bro notes the similarities of some of these guys to his guide.
They arrive outside, and Bro realizes that they're in a meteor flying through space. Not a bad place to conclude their tour, and not a bad place for his bro to be.
The scene shifts one final time. They stand in a void, a large green house made of a few squares and triangles stands before them. Bro cocks his head at it.
"The Sburb symbol, now mega fun sized. The hell is this?"
"This is what happens when you die," The woman says.
"So, no party in the afterlife then?" he asks.
"That is a different afterlife I'm afraid," She says.
Bro sighs and walks to the glowing green house that looks 2 dimensional.
"Thanks for showing me my life, it was fun to watch a sword go through me again," Bro said.
"Wait, one last thing," he asked, "I didn't get your name."
The woman only smiled, a gentle smile, "It's been lost to the ages, it doesn't really matter."
"Are you death's foxy handmaiden?" Bro asked, a smirk coming on.
The woman continued to smile, "Afraid not,"
"Well, it's been fun, thanks," Bro said, turning his back and waving over his shoulder. He walked up the steps to the monument, and opened the door. He looked inside as the white light showed on him. Bro smiled at what he saw, and entered.
The above part with Kamina is based off of a Sadstuck comic I once saw.
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