DISCLAIMER: I don't own Victorious! if I did there would've been another season, and Cat would've sang a LOT of solo songs(:

No one really knows who I really am. They all think I'm just airhead Cat, that doesn't have any problems. Well they don't know how wrong they all are. I have a ton of problems. I'm in love with my best friend's boyfriend. I'm bipolar. I have severe depression. I have bulimia. I self harm. My daddy abuses me and my brother. I get bullied by one of my so-called best friends, Tori Vega. Even if I told anyone, they wouldn't believe me. Jade might, but I can't tell anyone. Tori said she would hurt me if I told anyone. I don't know what to do. I wish I could talk to someone, but there's no one I can talk to. I don't even think my friends like me. They probably find me annoying, just like Tori says. They don't know the real reason I have weird stories about my brother is because I couldn't just say my brother is dying from cancer. I can't tell them that my daddy abuses me and my brother. My mommy died when I was 13, and then my daddy got depressed and got better. Then he decided to take out his pain on us because we reminded him of our mommy. Once I was in the hospital because he threw me down the stairs and I broke my arms and got a concussion. The nurse wanted to know what happened and I had to ie and say I tripped down the stairs. My daddy gave a curt nod as he confirmed I was a klutzy, ditzy girl. The nurse ignored my pleading eyes. I tried to tell the truth with my eyes but the nurses and doctors ignored me, and I was signed out to go with my daddy. They didn't know that he would just hurt me again. He didn't hurt me quite as bad while I had a broken arm and concussion. I thought things might be okay. Then once I was healed he did it again. And again. He never stops. He just hurt me again, and my arm is really badly bruised nad its swelling really bad. I think it's broken or fractured. No one knows what its really like for me. They think that I'm genuinely happy. I'm only happy around them to hide from the truth, and reality. Reality is worse than the fantasy and stories I come up with.

I skip up to my friends and say hi hi as usual. They all say hi back. I tell them about this one time my brother ran around the house and finally he- but then I start crying. They all look at me in concern, except for Tori, who fakes concern but rolls her eyes at me when no one is looking. Jadey asks me what was wrong. I lie and say I saw a sad commercial for animals. Jadey rolls her eyes and walks away into Sikowitz room. Beck says not to worry about it, and then goes with Jadey. Like always. Andre rubs my shoulder consolingly then walks to Sikowitz room. Robbie puts his hand over Rex's mouth then grabs my hand and walks with me to Sikowitz room. I stop my tears. They don't know the real reason I cried was because my brother is in the hospital and he may die. The tumor in his brain spread, and he's in a coma. We play the alphabet game in Sikowitz room. I start crying in the middle of it, and Jadey pulls me out of the room. She asks me what was really wrong. I cry even more. Finally I tell her my brother might die. She looks shocked. She asks what I mean. So I tell her my brother has had brain cancer for his entire 9 years of life. She asks why I didn't tell anyone. Then she asks if I lied when I tell them my stories about my brother. I nod. She goes back into Sikowitz and pulls out Beck. She tells him to drive me to the hospital, and she'll explain on the way. He doesn't question it, no one ever questions Jadey. They wouldn't dare. She tells him everything on the way. He was really shocked, then grabs my hand and holds it. I am shocked. We get to the hospital and run in, requesting Frankie Valentine's room. The nurse's face turns sympathetic and tells me that he isn't in the room. He died 2 minutes ago. I feel my body go numb as I hear Jadey and Becks sharp inhale of breath. I turn and run. I hear them run after me so I run faster. I run to my house and slam the door. Jadey and Beck had been calling my phone nonstop. I ignored them. Then I write them a note.

Dear Jadey,

You were like a sister to me. I love you Jadey, you're my best friend. I will always be with you Jadey. I'm sorry. But I had to do this. I hope you don't hate me. I want you to have Mr. Longneck, and take all my pictures and copy them then give a copy to Beck, Andre, Robbie and even some to Sikowitz. I can remember the happy times with those pictures. Will you make a copy of the one me, you, Robbie, Andre, and Beck took together, and put it with me? But I want you to keep the originals Jadey. There somethings I need to tell you, and here they are.

-I'm bipolar.

-my daddy has been abusing me and my brother since I was 14.

-my mommy died when I was 13.

-I'm bulimic.

-I self harm.

-Tori constantly bullies me.

-I'm in love with Beck.

-I have severe depression.

I thought you deserved to know Jadey. Goodbye.

Love forver,

Caterina Valentine

I then wrote one to Beck.

Dear Beck,

I'm in love with you. I never told you because I know you like Jadey. I would NEVER want to ruin your relationship. I have loved you since I was 9 years old Beck. I'll always be with you Beck. I love you. Please take care of Jadey and Andre and Robbie.i want you to have my guitar Beck. Please take care of it and make wonderful music with it. Heres some things that I need you to know before I'm gone.

-I'm bipolar.

-my daddy has been abusing me and my brother since I was 14.

-my mommy died when I was 13.

-I'm bulimic.

-I self harm.

-Tori constantly bullies me.

-I have severe depression.

Goodbye Beck. I suppose you should know, sometimes I called you Becky in my head without meaning to. But I didn't mean it in a bad way. I love you Beck.

Love forever,

Caterina Valentine.

Then I wrote one to Andre.

Dear Andre,

You were like the big brother I never got. I love you so much Andre, you don't even know how much I do. But as a brother, of course. I have a box of songs under my bed I would like you to show Jadey and Beck and Robbie, and then I want you to make money off of them. It's the least I can do. Before I'm gone, heres some things I want you to know.

-I'm bipolar.

-my daddy has been abusing me and my brother since I was 14.

-my mommy died when I was 13.

-I'm bulimic.

-I self harm.

-Tori constantly bullies me.

-I'm in love with Beck.

-I have severe depression.

Goodbye Andre, my big brother. I love you.

Love forever,

Your Lil'Red, Caterina Valentine.

Then I wrote one last to Robbie.

Dear Robbie,

You were a really good friend Robbie. I love you, but not as a date. Just as a friend. Sorry. I want you to have my cupcake maker. I want you to make only Red Velvet cupcakes with it though. Me and my mommy always used to make them on Saturday, before she died. Heres some things I want you to know Robbie, before im gone.

I'm bipolar.

-my daddy has been abusing me and my brother since I was 14.

-my mommy died when I was 13.

-I'm bulimic.

-I self harm.

-Tori constantly bullies me.

-I'm in love with Beck.

-I have severe depression.

Goodbye. Stay strong Robbie, ignore the Haters.

Love forever,

Caterina Valentine.

I put all the letters on my desk. They were all written on my pink paper, in purple ink. I walk over and grab my blade. I hear my door being broke down and hear Jadey calling Cat!, along with Beck. I run into my bathroom, and quickly shut and lock the door. I quickly run the blade over my wrists and feel the blood rushing out of the wounds. I hear an ambulance pull up to my house. I start to panick that I might be saved, then my door is kicked down. I'm scooped into Becks arms. I know im close to deat, so I smile, relieved. I hear Beck say no Cat, why. I look up at him and smile. Hes crying. I whisper don't cry. It barely comes out. His lips are inches from mine. I lean my head forward and kiss him. He looks surprised. I whisper I love you. Imagine my surprise when he says it back. A content smile is on my face as I feel myself slipping away. Beck puts me on a gurney, and I go into unconsciousness. I can finally be at peace.

That's a little oneshot I thought of while listening to sad music.. love it? Hate it? Should I make it into a story? Review, Follow, Favorite, whatever!