Once again, I should be working on my other stories, but once again, this is from creative writing. I drew a place, person, and a thing to write about. See if you can guess them by the end!

I do not own Sherlock Holmes, Supernatural, or Twilight (and while I must cry at the first two, I smile in relief at the third!)

Oh, and also a few warnings. First is that this, except for the very beginning, is pure crack. Second is that, because this is pure crack, it is not my best writing, so I apologize for that - and by best writing, I mean that it is (hopefully) grammatically correct and well written, but could be painful and seem bad because of the crack. Third, this is not for the faint hearted (in this case Twilight fans who love Edward; if you're from Team Jacob you might love it, I don't know). Fourth, I know almost nothing about Sherlock, so he might seem OOC, and for that I apologize. Enjoy!

Sherlock closed his eyes, blocking out the sound around him, and focused. He retreated to his mind palace, where all his clues would, hopefully, start to make sense. One by one, he drew up pictures of the scenes and victims while listing the clues in his head.

Pale girl, with short brown hair and glasses. Tan girl, with long black hair and an athlete's build. Short girl, tall girl, asian, caucasian, blue eyes, brown eyes. The only connection was that they were all girls.

Sherlock sighed inwardly and turned to the places.

A dark alleyway, sometime after midnight, next to a bar. Behind a restroom in a park, sometime after midnight, and two hundred meters from the road. Dark, lit, far, blocked, concrete, green. The only connection was that they all took place sometime after midnight.

Sherlock sighed and turned to the clues.

Bodies drained of blood, a torn up neck, and - "Edward Cullen?" Sherlock spoke in disbelief, afraid of how the fictional character had managed to find his way into his mind palace.

"I cannot live without you…" Edward groaned.

"I thought that was Bella's line?" Sherlock raised an eyebrow.

"You cannot live without me…"

"I knew you two had an unhealthy codependent relationship. Honestly, it's a wonder you aren't dead yet. Oh wait…" Sherlock only had to ponder for a few seconds before he knew where the sarcasm was coming from. Edward Cullen was in his mind palace! He would need to clean for hours.

"We cannot live without each other…"

"You die by a stake to the heart, right?" Sherlock questioned, looking around for one and hoping that, being his mind palace, it would provide one. And even Watson couldn't fault him for not knowing how to kill a vampire. Why would he want to know what happened in those books?

"Nope," a cheerful voice came from behind him, and Sherlock spun around, glad of a distraction from Edward. He almost wept in relief at the sight. Two men stood there, both tall, though one was so tall that he made the other look short.

"Oh thank goodness!" Sherlock cried. "The Winchesters, right? You're vampire killing experts, if my sources are correct."

"If you mean those books, at least they're good for something…" the shorter one - Dean, Sherlock recalled - groaned. "But you need to behead them."

"You wouldn't happen to have a blade on you?" Sherlock questioned.

"As a matter of fact…" Sam grinned, pulling out a machete. "I'll distract him, and you do the kill, alright Dean?"

Dean grinned happily. "Oh, man, have I waited a long time for this!" The elder brother strutted right up to Edward, who was continuing to moan about how he and Bella "cannot live without each other". "This is just sick," Dean huffed.

"If you don't hurry up, I'll take the machete and do it myself," Sherlock warned, glaring at Edward. "He's been in my mind for way too long!" He paused, then asked, "How are you all in here anyways?"

"Simple," Sam shrugged, his grin widening as Edward's body crumpled and his head rolled several feet away. Dean shook salt over them and lit them on fire with a manic grin on his face. "Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles, Robert Pattinson, and Benedict Cumberbatch are all sleeping in the same hotel. They're going to some event tomorrow, they're consciences crossed, and here we are. We would have been here sooner, but Jared and Jensen took longer falling asleep. By the way, before they wake up and drag us out, your perp? Vampire, just not one as pitiful as Deadward over there. A machete to the neck and a nice salt and burn should do it just fine. But then, he's also a glittering fairy princess, so I'm not certain."

"I'm sure it will work, and thank you so much," Sherlock sighed. "I never knew I'd have to have pest control in my mind palace."

"I'd be insulted if it wasn't Cullen," Dean grinned, and then the Winchesters faded out of Sherlock's mind palace, with Sherlock waving goodbye.

The detective turned to the burning corpse, and frowned. "Now what to do with you?"

Did you guess the three draws? I drew Sherlock's mind palace for a place, Edward Cullen for a person, and a blade for a thing. I hope I did alright. Also, to any Edward fans out there, I'm sorry if I offended you, that was not my intention.

Please review!